Man dies in worst-possible weenie roast

Would have beena great fiction story...if it was fiction
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Algernon Sydney is Dead
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Man dies in worst-possible weenie roast

Post by Algernon Sydney is Dead » Mon Jul 08, 2013 10:44 pm

Another urban legend became reality when a New York man peed on the subway's third rail. This electrocuted him to death and injured his buddy as well.

Now we need brave volunteers to make other legends real. Any takers?

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Re: Man dies in worst-possible weenie roast

Post by strawman » Mon Jul 08, 2013 11:22 pm

I am disappointed. The article's phrasing: "Zeno paused to urinate and inadvertantly contacted the third rail" does not say that he peed on the third rail.

Likewise, saying that he also injured his "buddy" turns out to be suggestive of the legend, but equally misleading. How can I say this? Sometimes a "buddy" can be another person.

NB: if the man dies and his "buddy" lives, that changes everything.

Still, this type of Drudge reporting does illustrate how the truth might be suggestively hammered into shape in less important matters, such as politics.
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Re: Man dies in worst-possible weenie roast

Post by Algernon Sydney is Dead » Tue Jul 09, 2013 12:25 am

How else, would the man "contact" the rail? Unless he's peeing while doing pushups?

To remove all doubt, here's one of many articles from more thorough sources. The man came, he peed on the rail, he died.

strawman wrote:Still, this type of Drudge reporting does illustrate how the truth might be suggestively hammered into shape in less important matters, such as politics.
This type of unjustified innuendo shows how smearing with almost non-sequitur, and totally false "ad hominem" attacks is a favorite tactic of certain types. Facts and logic be damned.

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Re: Man dies in worst-possible weenie roast

Post by strawman » Tue Jul 09, 2013 2:22 am

What a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to relieve...

It almost makes more sense that he'd be peeing while doing push-ups.

So let us now stipulate that the man peed on the third rail. And that your last reference states this clearly, but the originally cited paper chose to report that he, not his pee, contacted said rail inadvertantly, and yet you chose to cite this report as your primary reference.

This second, more supportive article, was clearly the product of the same people who produced Obama's certificate of live birth from Hawaii. I took the liberty of Googling "Ryan Gorman", under whose byline this suspect story runs, and find it interesting that Ryan Gorman is a pseudonym for none other than Dan Rather (https://twitter.com/muckrack/status/227922662591188992), which fact is deduced from their mutually corroborative twitters.

And do we really want to look closely into the practice of creating one's own web-based pseudo news site in order to reference fabricated urban legend Drabblenews items? Do we, ASID? Perhaps that would account for this caption: "Zeno was enjoying a day off from his workout routine by having drinks with at least one friend, who tried in vein (sic) to save his life". Which vein was the Life Saver vein, we wonder.

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... z2YVXZVhpU
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Because if we did, that would be a truly worthy project, (if the Onion hadn't already gone there and done it.)

And what do you have to say about "Buddy"? Buddy is NO WEENIE!
Buddy is ALIVE!
No doubt tomorrow's dailymail.co.uk will feature a story about an undead penis.
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Re: Man dies in worst-possible weenie roast

Post by Algernon Sydney is Dead » Tue Jul 09, 2013 3:05 am

strawman wrote:So let us now stipulate that the man peed on the third rail. And that your last reference states this clearly, but the originally cited paper chose to report that he, not his pee, contacted said rail inadvertantly, and yet you chose to cite this report as your primary reference.
No stipulation necessary, it's not only fact, it's bloody obvious even from the first article. I posted that first site because that's where I first found the story. Only later, in the off chance that an insane, trollish, conjecture might be right, did I dig deeper.

This second, more supportive article, was clearly the product of the same people who produced Obama's certificate of live birth from Hawaii. I took the liberty of Googling "Ryan Gorman", under whose byline this suspect story runs, and find it interesting that Ryan Gorman is a pseudonym for none other than Dan Rather (https://twitter.com/muckrack/status/227922662591188992), which fact is deduced from their mutually corroborative twitters.
Now you're making me long for the good old days when people could be tried and severely punished for such libel.

It saddens me that you are dorking around with such a painfully serious topic as a man's roasted weenie. (And his other buddy getting zapped, almost to death, too)

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Re: Man dies in worst-possible weenie roast

Post by strawman » Tue Jul 09, 2013 8:12 am

Oh, please.
It saddens me that you would stoop to say that it saddens you. I call "crocadilies" *.
The originally cited urban legend can be found here: http://www.snopes.com/photos/medical/electricfence.asp, which gratuitously includes
Spoiler:
fence_small.jpg
fence_small.jpg (17.38 KiB) Viewed 2623 times
This leads me to ask, "If you really wanted us to be sad for Matthew Zeno, why didn't you find a story with pictures like that instead of one with these
Spoiler:
article-0-1AB7E8A9000005DC-262_306x423.jpg
article-0-1AB7E8A9000005DC-262_306x423.jpg (54.48 KiB) Viewed 2623 times
images.jpg
images.jpg (9.88 KiB) Viewed 2622 times
You also conveniently neglected to mention that Anthony Wiener is running for mayor of New York, that this is The Daily Mail and the Post we're talking about, and that the story appears on July 4 weekend, the year's biggest weekend for roasting wieners, along with this:
We recommend
Woman stabbed on Midtown subway platform (Local News)
Sic her, boy! Paris’ pup a real heir puller (National News)
They undid my clothes, peered into my underwear: College kid sues NYPD over stop-and-frisk in Williamsburg (Local News)
Couple having sex against window fall to their deaths after glass breaks: report (International News)
WATCH: Bangkok taxi driver hacks American to death with Samurai sword over $1.60 fare (International News)

*The tears that Democrats shed when Todd Akin spoke of "legitimate rape".
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Re: Man dies in worst-possible weenie roast

Post by strawman » Tue Jul 09, 2013 8:37 am

I will grant you this, ASID. If by some weird twist it should turn out that the Affordable Care Act is affordable, and that this story is true, then I propose that the Drabblecast start looking for the three miracles required to qualify Matthew Zeno for beatitude in the Drabblenews Hall of Fame.

It does seem very likely that this guy, if real, would have been an enthusiastic contributor to Drabblecast. In fact due to our tags, you can never really know if he wasn't a family member. We haven't heard from LajesticVantrashellofLob for a while. Dang it, we need a cross-reference mechanism to find out if Drabblenews items such as this are the reason forum members disappear.

It seems plausible that there should be a high degree of correlation.
Never judge anyone until you have biopsied their brain.

"Be kind, for everyone is fighting a hard battle."
Known Some Call Is Air Am
Spoiler:
Non sum qualis eram = "I am not who I will be"

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Re: Man dies in worst-possible weenie roast

Post by ROU Killing Time » Tue Jul 09, 2013 8:20 pm

Are we still rehashing Zeno's paradicks?
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Re: Man dies in worst-possible weenie roast

Post by strawman » Tue Jul 09, 2013 8:58 pm

ROU Killing Time wrote:Are we still rehashing Zeno's paradicks?
No. Didn't you hear? That hash is charcoal.
Never judge anyone until you have biopsied their brain.

"Be kind, for everyone is fighting a hard battle."
Known Some Call Is Air Am
Spoiler:
Non sum qualis eram = "I am not who I will be"

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Re: Man dies in worst-possible weenie roast

Post by Algernon Sydney is Dead » Tue Jul 09, 2013 10:37 pm

ROU Killing Time wrote:Are we still rehashing Zeno's paradicks?
Worthy attempt, but I'm pretty sure he only had the one. (For God's sake, don't ask me how.)

Try something like "Zeno, zap yes", etc.

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Re: Man dies in worst-possible weenie roast

Post by ROU Killing Time » Wed Jul 10, 2013 12:42 am

Algernon Sydney is Dead wrote:
ROU Killing Time wrote:Are we still rehashing Zeno's paradicks?
Worthy attempt, but I'm pretty sure he only had the one. (For God's sake, don't ask me how.)

Try something like "Zeno, zap yes", etc.
It's easy to understand. First you divide it in half, etc, etc. (and of course, etc.)
"Never fuck with The Culture"
Sublime In Peace Iain M. Banks.

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