Hiatus

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ROU Killing Time
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Re: Hiatus

Post by ROU Killing Time » Tue Nov 24, 2009 12:03 am

eric_marsh wrote:
tbaker2500 wrote:Clinically Strange! I love it!
Yea, not bad. Normal is boring.
Guess I still got it even when I'm down.

Today was a better day, thanks for keeping in touch.
"Never fuck with The Culture"
Sublime In Peace Iain M. Banks.

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eric_marsh
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Re: Hiatus

Post by eric_marsh » Tue Nov 24, 2009 12:10 am

:)
Life is a tragedy for those who feel, but a comedy to those who think. - Horace Walpole
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Algernon Sydney is Dead
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Re: Hiatus

Post by Algernon Sydney is Dead » Tue Nov 24, 2009 12:31 am

Well, this thread was not what I expected from the title and location. :wink:

I'll just say "ditto" to the previous responses and good luck. Got a bit of the old bipolar myself, but certain silhouette targets, and being solely responsible for a few creatures, helps me cope (I think).

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ROU Killing Time
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Re: Hiatus

Post by ROU Killing Time » Tue Nov 24, 2009 1:36 am

Thanks ASID, concentrating on the family and aminals helps me too. I know you are all probably going to start a fund to buy me a dictionary (to go along with the much needed math book after the billion times drabble-rate debacle) so I can look up the word "hiatus."

However, I have, and will probably continue to avoid delving into the deeper topics or attempt to work on my fiction, til I can get the hatches battened down again.

The support of the drabblecast family of friends is wonderful, and I thank you all for the ongoing support.
"Never fuck with The Culture"
Sublime In Peace Iain M. Banks.

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alhilton
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Re: Hiatus

Post by alhilton » Tue Nov 24, 2009 7:32 am

Aw, man, I'm sorry, ROU. I just go back in town. If you wanna get a cup of coffee or something, let me know.
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ROU Killing Time
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Re: Hiatus

Post by ROU Killing Time » Tue Nov 24, 2009 3:27 pm

alhilton wrote:Aw, man, I'm sorry, ROU. I just go back in town. If you wanna get a cup of coffee or something, let me know.
Thanks, Abbie. Sadly, I have to pass on the coffee as caffeine is contra-indicated for mania. (I can hear bunny-girl shrieking and thumping away to hide all the way over in Teh Netherlands, over that...)

I've always thought that decaf was like opiate-free heroin, or sex without the climax. :-(

Counting down the days to when I'll be back in Portland on December 2nd, to meet with my new doctor to get back on a prescription for lithium, after being off meds pushing 5 months now (a long story that is documented elsewhere on this forum.)

Here's something I wrote back in 1992, days before my first hospitilization and diagnosis.

(It's not a real good poem, in my opinion, but it does still accurately depict the mood swings associated with schizo-affective disorder, I think...)

"Flowers"
On genius' wings, like Icarus, I soared so far away
Into ecstatic fantasies, I'd thought to always play
Too soon, flaming intensity would blow itself apart
Please, leave some flowers for the Algernon within my heart
"Never fuck with The Culture"
Sublime In Peace Iain M. Banks.

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strawman
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Re: Hiatus

Post by strawman » Tue Nov 24, 2009 5:25 pm

Socrates said (notably in the trial for heresy that would lead to his death) "the unexamined life is not worth living." So many people go through their entire lives simply reacting to stimuli, without realizing that knowing yourself is possible, or that the examination informs the choices which produce future realities.

ROU, you have been really blessed. Due to your disorder, you have not been able to get away with an unexamined life. Sure, it's exponentially more complicated, since your self is a moving target. But that may just be a more extreme range than what is standard for us all (Ro7:23). The point is that examining your life and self-awareness is not an option. And that changes everything.
Your writing and imagining are drawn from that well. Your Drabbles and Twabbles are exercises in distilling the meaning from what you've discovered. And you show evidence of having learned the importance of self-restraint, or reading and understanding "signs".

My sister suffers from a similar disorder. Two years ago she suddenly awoke from a 3-month coma that had resulted from her body rejecting her lithium. Since she woke up, she has been more lucid and intelligent than at any other stage of her life.
It is a complete mystery to me how this type of thing is possible. But I'm grateful for it. And I'm grateful that you're with us. My father's name was Charley, as well as my Down's older brother. I'm going to the library this afternoon to pick up Flowers for Algernon. So thanks for that too.
The best type of hiatus is the kind where you're still here.
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alhilton
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Re: Hiatus

Post by alhilton » Tue Nov 24, 2009 8:16 pm

ROU Killing Time wrote:Thanks, Abbie. Sadly, I have to pass on the coffee as caffeine is contra-indicated for mania.
Well, yes, I suppose giving you caffeine would make me a lousy nurse. I hear that Moonstruck's hot chocolate is quite nice on a cold rainy day, though.

I'm sorry you're having such a hard time. You articulate things very well. You seem to have a clear grasp of what you need to do to dig yourself out. Hang in there. There's light beyond the rain.
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ROU Killing Time
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Re: Hiatus

Post by ROU Killing Time » Tue Nov 24, 2009 9:08 pm

Hot chocolate sounds nice and comforting. I've always meant to pop by Moonstruck's (that's the little shoppe in Sellwood on 17th, correct?)

Thanks Strawman, you are right, I'm kind of stuck with the self-examination. I always do my best to not fall into narcissism (sometimes successfully, sometimes less so) by understanding that my condition is not unique, even if it does seem an ultra-magnification of the human psychological experience at times.

In a way, I feel a bit guilty about prompting the tears that will doubtless come upon re-reading "Flowers for Algernon" which I consider perhaps the greatest study in first-person literature, not only in science-fiction, but in literature in general. I've read that novel more than once, and it never fails to cause me to go through a box of tissues enduring the final pathos of the denouement. In many ways it is a perfect metaphor for the human condition, as we grow more complex and intellecutally astute from childhood to adulthood, then gradually lose that through the deterioration of old-age. On a personal level it is certainly an accurate metaphor for the feelings of ascent through mania and the resultant fall into depression.
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m_a_kelly
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Re: Hiatus

Post by m_a_kelly » Thu Nov 26, 2009 11:22 am

I will keep you in my prayers.

I can understand where you are. I suffered from serious depression when my husband died and although I've been healing for a while, I still have relapses. My husband was bi-polar. I watched him suffer for ten years.

Take care of yourself.
Live your life in such a way that when your feet hit the floor in the morning, Satan shudders and says, "Oh, shit! She's awake!"

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ROU Killing Time
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Re: Hiatus

Post by ROU Killing Time » Thu Nov 26, 2009 3:19 pm

m_a_kelly wrote:I will keep you in my prayers.

I can understand where you are. I suffered from serious depression when my husband died and although I've been healing for a while, I still have relapses. My husband was bi-polar. I watched him suffer for ten years.

Take care of yourself.
Likewise, WTF kitty.

Likewise, very much so,
"Never fuck with The Culture"
Sublime In Peace Iain M. Banks.

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alhilton
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Re: Hiatus

Post by alhilton » Thu Nov 26, 2009 10:31 pm

ROU Killing Time wrote:Hot chocolate sounds nice and comforting. I've always meant to pop by Moonstruck's (that's the little shoppe in Sellwood on 17th, correct?)
I don't know about Sellwood. I know they've got a location downtown and one in Beaverton Town Square. _Really_ tasty chocolate, coffee, etc. I wrote a good chunk of Cowry Catchers in the Beaverton location back in the corner by the window.
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