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Laying Down the List - Preliminary Candidates

Posted: Mon Jul 07, 2008 8:27 pm
by normsherman
It has begun.

The 2008 Mega-Beast Death-Match competition starts now. This is this preliminaries, and we want your input as to which critters will be participating. What you will do is pick six animals from the following list - whichever are your favorites, or that you think will cause the most damage. We will be creating a grand tally from your listed votes, and the twelve leading contenders will be entered in to our ‘Mega-Beast’ program, to compete as technologically enhanced perversions of nature in the succeeding Death-Match rounds.

Voting will also be available via the web site soon (along with some sweet new art, including last year's hybrid champion Telephant, reborn Hellaphant). We wanted to make sure things got started on time, schedule to keep an so forth, so we're starting the forum votes now.

Here is the master list. Remember that Elephants, Moles, Hippos, and Crabs saw their tour of action in 07, so no inclusion here. More of the Hellaphant to come though. Discussion of your picks is in encouraged. We're open to write-ins, but some signifigant support will be needed, if they are going to make the cut. Voting ends July 20th.

The List

Posted: Mon Jul 07, 2008 8:35 pm
by normsherman
Alligator / Crocodile
Bat / Vampire Bat
Bison / Buffalo
Chimpanzee / Monkey
Crow / Raven
Dodo Bird
Dolphin / Porpoise
Moray Eel / Electric Eel
Elephant Seal / Walrus
Ferret / Weasel
Frog / Toad / Bull Frog
Gorilla / Silverback
Hog / Pig / Hogzilla / Bore
Hornet / Wasp / Bee
Jellyfish / Man O’ War
Kangaroo / Wallabee
Killer Whale / Orca
Komodo Dragon / Lizard
Locust / Grasshopper
Manatee / Dugong / Sea Cow
Panther / Leopard / Jaguar / Lynx
Polar Bear
Python / Boa / Snake
Slug / Snail
Spider / Tarantula
Tanuki / Raccoon
Turtle / Tortoise
Unicorn / Pegasus / Legendary Horse
Wolverine / Badger
Yeti / Sasquatch

My 6

Posted: Mon Jul 07, 2008 8:53 pm
by Mr. Tweedy
Sloth - Because no one takes them seriously. We need a fighta to earn some cred for sloth-kind.

Snail - Because they're so tough and confident that they don't need to be fast.

Raccoon - Because they're disarmingly cute and also carry rabies.

Toad - Because they pee when you pick them up.

Weasel - Because weasels are awesome.

Sasquatch - Because he's my brother.

Some Notes

Posted: Mon Jul 07, 2008 8:55 pm
by normsherman
Some quick notes on the prelims, in case you're wondering

- Format your votes as a list of six, pasting the entry as it appears exactly on our list isn't necessary. As sample would look like this:

panther, unicorn, spider, eel, Sasquatch, lion

Discussion of choices would follow. Write-in's (like poodle, or vulture, etc) should be listed separately.

- Animals are lumped together by 'type,' to include as many as possible. We certainly don't wish to imply ferrets are weasels, or that moray eels conduct electricity, but at the same time, we don't want to split that voting group up.

- Some of these animals are made-up, or extinct. Nothing too extreme, no griffins, but hey, we're stretching the limits.

- When selecting, imagine a powered-up mega-beast form. we know a platypus won't be taking down a rhino, in real world context, nor would a squid have that much fun on land, but these are mega-beasts we're talking. A liquid nitrogen cannon and enlarged size do a lot for the humble platypuses chances.

- We're open to suggestions on mega-beast powers. It's ultimately going to be the decision of the Drabblecast crew how the beasts drive, but if you have an idea for an ideal killing machine, let us know. Steel plating for that polar bear? We're listening.

My choices

Posted: Mon Jul 07, 2008 9:04 pm
by StalinSays
Squid - because squids are just my favorite critter on the market. The thinking doesn't extend past that.

Orangutan - as a great ape, I don't think it gets the attention it deserves. It's smarter than a gorilla, and nearly as strong, with huge pita bread looking face plates. Plus, anyone seen 'Any Which Way But Loose'? I rest my case,

Shark - because sharks are just too awesome to ignore. A mega-beast shark would likely fly, and that's the perfect storm of deadliness.

Tanuki - because they have huge balls and drink. Don't believe me, ask Japan.

Eel - because they're creepy as hell, and things without fur always stand an advantage in my eyes.

Spider - insectile strength on a mega-beast scale, with innards melting venom? Yes please.

Posted: Mon Jul 07, 2008 9:50 pm
by normsherman
Squid. Of course.

Giraffe. I see potential in anything with a neck that long.

Toad. Battletoads- awesome video game. Also, I've been loving toads ever since deflective posted that body mod frog link in drabblenews.

Panda. If a panda could take on the Emperor's numba one fighta, I think he could handle Hellaphant.

Dolphin. Badass. Ask a shark.

Posted: Mon Jul 07, 2008 11:31 pm
by strawman
You might consider a Giant Chigger, cause regurgitating digestive juices on your foe is pretty gruesome. I guess the trait is common to arachnids, but chiggers are particularly nasty. Of course, making it giant sort of defeats its biggest strength... invisibility. Which leads to pick #2: Anthrax spores. Kills anything that breathes, and you don't even see it. Don't know if spores qualify. The Vampire Catfish is a sure winner. Anything that gets inside its opponent would be pretty invulnerable, as the opponent would have to rip himself open just to get at you. Then there's Plague Rat. Get a drop of his blood on you, and you're doomed. He can't really lose, can he?
I think you need Don King to promote this contest.

Posted: Mon Jul 07, 2008 11:55 pm
by normsherman
Yah those sound cool from the list strawman? They become super in due time.

Posted: Tue Jul 08, 2008 1:43 am
by strawman
Sniff :cry:
Sasquatch, Velociraptor, Gorilla, Kimodo Dragon, squid


hey, and avatars

Posted: Tue Jul 08, 2008 4:31 am
by StalinSays
I would say enough people hop on the chigger train, it will be honored as a write-in. I could definitely draw one - popularizing it votes wise is strawman's job. Glad to see with some strong-arming, we have another squid vote. So you know, the squids run this town.

P.S. - I turned on the profile avatars - look I haz one, it's a tentacle. 80 x 80 dimensions, hit the profile link to upload or link your own.

Posted: Tue Jul 08, 2008 5:05 am
by tastycakes
Baboon - owns the nastiest ass in the world. I wouldn't want to tangle with it for that reason alone.

Dolphin - everything about these creatures is bad ass. They can take out sharks, plus when they can't find females, they wank off on other male dolphins. You know why? They just want to get theirs.

Velociraptor - a mega-beast by itself. Its powers will clearly have to be lesser, or it will wipe out the competition easily.

Owl - one of the most distinct, haunting animal calls. Just freaky animals in general, especially The Excorcist necks.

Panda - because Kung Fu Panda didn't quite display the awesomeness that is the Panda, and we have to rectify that.

Lynx - probably the coolest looking cat in the world. Ferocity in a small package. Can attach some kind of power to its awesome ears, or adorable paws...

I really wanted the manatee, too. But, I just don't see any way it can become mega-ized.

Posted: Tue Jul 08, 2008 5:54 am
by bolddeceiver
Crow, pig, kangaroo, octopus, raccoon, sloth.


Crow -- Because they're one of the coolest animals that people don't think much of just cause you see them every day.

Pig -- My late fiancee loved pigs to an absurd degree, and having to agree that yes, they are amazing, so long led me to at least somewhat believe it.

Kangaroo -- The kangaroo was my high school mascot, so I basically have to support it. Go fighting Kangs!

Octopus -- Say what you will about squid, but my money's on the world's smartest invertebrate. Intelligence + near-shapeshifting + color change + limb regeneration = DEADLY BEAST. Plus, they eat sharks (if there had been a dc when that happened, it would have totally been drabblenews).

Raccoon -- Cause they've got a lot of character. Along the same line as the crow, I just dig crafty urban commensals. For the same reason, I would have voted for Mr. Rat if he'd been on the list.

Sloth -- Just for the hell of it.

Posted: Tue Jul 08, 2008 11:58 am
by zZzacha
Aramadillo because I like their nose. And they have flexible armor plates. And they can run and dig and they have mean claws.

Chameleon off course. I love tricksters. "Now you see me, now you don't"

Manatee because it's big, there isn't a lot known about the creature (I _know_ it has some hidden qualities we don't yet know about) and it has a great big paddle *hit hit hit*

Panther because I love the way their muscles move when they walk.

Spider because I hate spiders, so I hope they all get killed in the first round.

Sasquatch of course! She's my namesake, so I must vote for her.

Posted: Tue Jul 08, 2008 12:29 pm
by cammoblammo
My choices: Dodo, Komodo dragon, spider, squid, platypus and kangaroo


Dodo The dodo died out because it was the least supermegaawesome beast there was. Ergo, it could do with souping up. Preferably in zombie form...

Komodo dragon I've always thought these were pretty awesome. If you don't lose a limb when it bites you, you'll probably die from the necrotic bacteria that love to live in their mouths.

Spider Seriously, there's got to be a reason why so many people are afraid of spiders. I suspect there's something big and evil in our biological past that's passed on through some sort of genetic memory. Not just a spider---a megaspider!

Squid Squids are cool. We all know how Norm would feel about megasquid. Please vote fort his one. It's his birthday some time in the next twelve months.

Platypus When Europeans first stumbled across these odd little mammals they thought it was a hoax. Don't be confused by its cuteness though---the males pack venomous stings and they can be quite vicious. Oh, and they lay eggs. AWESOME!!!!!

Kangaroo Kangaroos are cool. Some kangaroos are nasty, and big ones can kill humans. And they ride bikes in Olympic ceremonies. Okay, that wasn't awesome. Can cheesy be awesome?

Posted: Tue Jul 08, 2008 7:02 pm
by poopdawg
Manatee - The ultimate assassin. No one suspects the manatee.

Tanuki - Testicle distraction. Worked great for the Spartans.

Squid - Some scientists think they're smarter than dogs. That'd be like getting attacked by a hyper-intelligent pitbull with a 10 foot reach.

Velociraptor - Just the fact that it's fighting modern animals long after its expected extinction tells you just how much of a scrapper it is.

Polar Bear - Because polar bears are fightin' for their very right to survive. With their habitat dwindling away this is the last chance they've got at the big time.

Kangaroo - I just kind of like kangaroos. I guess they can kick hard too.

Posted: Tue Jul 08, 2008 7:34 pm
by strawman
It occurs to me to write-in nominate Michael Vick to be a contestant for the Super Animal Death Match competition.

Primary super attribute: a golden ruler! Let it be done unto him as he has done.

Posted: Wed Jul 09, 2008 4:19 am
by tbaker2500
Tanuki - Come on, they're friggin cool!

Grasshopper - Great opportunity for Karate Kid jokes

Raven - Nevermore, will you win.

Chigger - Lime flavored!

Bullfrog - Good sunscreen

Velociraptor - Anyone who reads xkcd knows to always plan escape routes from Velociraptors.

Re: My choices

Posted: Wed Jul 09, 2008 4:50 am
by adam
gorilla, squid, boar, wasp, raptor, turtle

1. Silverback Gorilla- no one has any idea how much ass they kick; myself included. why? because nothing to date has ever messed with one. i think that stands for itself. orangutans are pretty cool, and dont lack for personality, but things still eat them. gorillas are still smart as crap, fast, and in zoos they shred tires with their bare hands... are you kidding me? lets give this guy a vote.

2. Squid-
StalinSays wrote:Squid - because squids are just my favorite critter on the market. The thinking doesn't extend past that..

3. Boar- i'm not sure why but this species has really earned a name for itself in the drabblecast community, and i think that warrants a spot on the roster. Hogzilla has the makings of a pretty sweet megabeast, as long as one of his opponents isnt "9 year old with a pistol."

4. Wasp-
cammoblammo wrote:Seriously, there's got to be a reason why so many people are afraid of spiders...
yes, but what are spiders afraid of? wasps- because they get their tails kicked by them regularly in nature- being used as live baby wasp incubators and junk till the things hatch out of their backs and eat them alive. one insectoid needs to make it on the list for sure; i just think it should be the more dominant one. flight is one less enhancement you'd need to give this guy.

5. Raptor- i'm with tastycakes. don't even enhance this b.a. just toss him in there as he is and let him tear stuff up. their only known weakness seems to be planet-wide, climate-altering meteors. and Sam Neill.

6. Turtle- not an obvious pick, but spice him up with some good offense and you've got a solid contender. it just occurred to me that battle toads vs. tenage mutant ninja turtles would have been the coolest fight/video game ever made.

Re: My choices

Posted: Wed Jul 09, 2008 4:58 am
by normsherman
adam wrote:

3. Boar- i'm not sure why but this species has really earned a name for itself in the drabblecast community, and i think that warrants a spot on the roster. Hogzilla has the makings of a pretty sweet megabeast, as long as one of his opponents isnt "9 year old with a pistol."

Posted: Wed Jul 09, 2008 8:23 pm
by Goldenrat
Blue Jay, Wasp, Jellyfish, Gopher, Python, Bull

Blue Jay: cool looks, but with a mean steak. I once watched an adult blue jay pummel a baby bird of some other type to death by our bird feeders. It was crazy, the thing just snapped. The victim was just standing there minding his own business.

Wasp: when these things show up at an outdoor gathering everyone runs. Mean, ugly looking insect mofos.

Jellyfish: even little ones can put you in the hurt bag. Imagine what a mutant monster would do if he rolled up on a beach full of sunbathers.

Gopher: U of MN grad here. Just want my little golden rats to do some ass-kicking for once.

Python: snakes kick ass, gotta have one in there.

Bull: mean as hell, cool horns that pierce the skin and vital organs. Get the hell otta the way, man.