Scraptor vs. Armourdillo vs. Sharkitraz vs. Pandemic

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Post by tbaker2500 » Tue Sep 02, 2008 3:31 pm

You're starting to sound like me last round. The invisible voting majority doesn't seem to visit these boards. The numbers just keep magically rising...
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Post by normsherman » Tue Sep 02, 2008 4:53 pm

maybe there are a lot of young, first time voters who are taken in by the novelty of the panda. They don't really think about the issues and aren't informed but they heard him speak at their college last week, and all their latte-drinking-pseudo-socialist-liberal-arts major friends are voting for him.
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Post by Mr. Tweedy » Tue Sep 02, 2008 5:41 pm

Good thought. Scraptor the epitome of old news, if he not? I mean, he's prehistoric. Yawn. Armourdillo? Huge, armor, battle axe. How completely unsophisticated, how blatantly masculine, how barbaric. Sharkitraz? What's that? Our young latte drinkers are oblivious to anything that happened more than 4 hours ago and hence have no idea what Alcatraz was.

Pandemic, now, he's got it all going for him. He's endangered. He's an agent of change, literally changing everyone who comes in contact with him. But most importantly, he's utterly pathetic. He's diseased, he's friendless, he's suffering, he's got no real skills. He's the ultimate victim figure, is he not? If there's one thing these young voters are really into, it's victimhood. Those other guys are all teeth and attitude. They're strong and self-sufficient. They can win on their own merits. Pandemic, on the other hand, needs Our Help.
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Post by StalinSays » Tue Sep 02, 2008 7:24 pm

Pandemic - the ultimate charity case.

I guess Scraptor's popularity crested over the first week of true round 3 voting. He was such a sure thing early: his lead was twice that of Night Owl or Squid Marx in their opening days. Even I was convinced this round was a forgone conclusion. And I guess in this way, he became old news. Fans eased off the ignition, started coasting, not realizing the 'dillo set was as ravenous as any, not perceiving that the panda people were so dazzled by its novelty.

As for the 'invisible voting majority' - don't get too worked up. I've had a look at the stats, and with loose understanding of frequent discussion contributors and DC editors' locations, via facebook and the forum idetities, an entirely different phenomenon is playing out. The 'one and done' scatter shot voters exist, and factor on a certain level, but it isn't these frightful aliens pushing the big numbers. Repeat customers (most often 'every other day' types) packing a multi-browser punch have the real impact. My inclination is that many, if not all, of those regulars represent in the forums.

I'll investigate cammoblammo's firefox plug-in, to see if that might be in play. To date, I haven't spotted any round 3 abuse. The most 'votes' coming from a single user, at a single time, has been 7. In this instance, each vote came with a different browser identity, so it was within bounds.

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Post by normsherman » Tue Sep 02, 2008 10:40 pm

So next week we should have a video podcast of Dragon con where we interviewed celebreties, half naked hotties and huge dorks about who would win.
I haven't started editing it yet- don't even have the footage yet, but if my memory is right most people voted Scraptor. There was also fairly strong Armourdillo presence. Only a handful of Sharkitraz and I don't think anyone thought the panda would win. Sorry Obama.
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Post by cammoblammo » Wed Sep 03, 2008 12:10 am

Mr. Tweedy wrote: Pandemic, now, he's got it all going for him. He's endangered. He's an agent of change, literally changing everyone who comes in contact with him. But most importantly, he's utterly pathetic. He's diseased, he's friendless, he's suffering, he's got no real skills. He's the ultimate victim figure, is he not? If there's one thing these young voters are really into, it's victimhood. Those other guys are all teeth and attitude. They're strong and self-sufficient. They can win on their own merits. Pandemic, on the other hand, needs Our Help.
He's also got that whole emo/goth vibe going. Ridiculously white face... depressingly black everything else... only thinks about death and dying... thinks he's so superior to everything else around all he wants to do is vomit on it... yup, emo alright.

It turns out, then, that Pandemic may be the first Megabeast to lose by way of voluntary suicide.

Better go perform my civic duty for the day.

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Post by tbaker2500 » Wed Sep 03, 2008 12:27 am

Bo- I think you misunderstood me. By "silent majority", I meant literally that. People are voting for Pandemic and not voicing here why they think Pandemic would win. Nothing Hokey, just disappointing to not hear their input.

Norm- Awesome! I hope the con went well. Give us a rundown when you have caught your breath.
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Post by StalinSays » Wed Sep 03, 2008 2:22 am

Fair enough. After the conjecture that proceeded round 2, I wanted to nip fears of faceless vote rigging ne'r-do-wells in the bud. It'd seem I jumped the gun.

Judging by post count, the discussion has been climbing steadily each round since the prelims, so I'm not as worried about our mute compatriots. Certainly the talk will become livelier once we've all laid eyes on this upcoming video podcast.

Still wish to understand in fullness the destruction of Sharkitraz. Tramp stamp and love of eating sick Pandas the deadly cocktail? Perhaps all those jaws sequels and Shark weeks tapped out the good will for nature's eat'iest predator.

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Post by jonathancg » Wed Sep 03, 2008 2:37 am

Speaking as one of the dorks that was at Dragon*Con, I am very pleased to see John McC-- er, Armourdillo slowly steamroll the competition.

It's funny that it's gone almost like the actual predictions almost everyone's made about this death match -- i.e., sharkitraz and pandemic blaze-out quick, then scraptor goes after 'dillo, but is eventually wiped by the big axe critter.

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Post by strawman » Wed Sep 03, 2008 7:43 pm

Mr. Tweedy wrote:Okay, seriously now. Pandemic is in a close second place and pulling away from Scraptor, in third. How is this possible? Obviously, Pandemic is an influential contender, but how do so many people think he can win? How is he going to defeat Armourdillo and Scraptor and Sharkitraz with nothing more than his body fluids?

I think Pandemic is a Bob-omb. His most powerful attack is suicidal: He's got to be within cleaving range to deliver his vomit, and he's got to be actually cleaved to deliver his blood. He can take some dudes down and influence the outcome, but he can't win.

So, let's hear it all you Pandemic voters, keeping the Scrap man down. What you're scenario?
We may have a different time perspective, as I have noted previously, but goten no ruling on. Pandemic's viruses cause immediate weakening and loss of strength. Death may not occur for two or three days, but within 24 hours the victim may be unable to move. This makes him easy prey for any of the others, who become infected on contact.
This match is three weeks long.
I'm not claiming super intelligence for Pandemic, but time is on his side, people. If he just lays a stream of puke for any of his foes who are tracking him to slip in and get infected, all he has to do then is lie low while the plague strikes. Sharkitraz tracks by smelling blood, right? One whiff of Pandemics blood, and Sharky's connective tissue begins to dissolve. Armadillo finds Sharky in a debilitated state and decides to take advantage, becoming infected by a splatter of shark blood. Soon overwhelmed with a horrble case of the trots, Armadillo drops trow in a squatting position. Scraptor takes a huge, lethal chunk of exposed Armordilla butt, and doesn't live long to regret it. Whereupon Pandemic comes stumbling out of the brush like Morton, and blows a load so toxic that the battlefield must be bombed with napalm to disinfect it for the next round.
I just think it's a great edge to be able to win without even showing your ugly face.
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Post by Mr. Tweedy » Wed Sep 03, 2008 8:25 pm

Hmm...

I don't think the round is three weeks long. How long the round lasts cannot be known until we know who wins and how, and we can't know that until the votes are all in.

What we're doing here is sort of like prophecy by democracy. Instead of the prophets foreseeing the future and telling what they see, they imagine it and vote on whose idea they like best. Whichever prophecy gets the most votes is the one that actually comes to pass. The deliberations last three weeks, but the match only lasts as long as it lasts.

Oh man, I just got a chill from how cool a story that would be! A community of people with the power to pick what the future will be by voting on it? True consensus reality? Dibs! Dibs on the idea!

Ah, who am I kidding. I'll never get around to writing it. :( Somebody should, though. Loads of potential there.
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Post by strawman » Wed Sep 03, 2008 10:35 pm

Um, have you considered how eerily similar your dibs-on is to democracy?

To be fair, we probably don't lie as much as they do, or vote as many times. But still...
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Post by strawman » Fri Sep 05, 2008 11:59 am

Last night at 11, Armourdillo led by 3 votes. At 5 AM this morning, the lead has increased by 20.
:x
Apparently our competition is being hacked by Orientals, (or Australians).

Armadillos are totally nocturnal, so whatever battling he does is done in the dark. What does this mean? Well, we all know that in a night fight, visual handicaps are neutralized. Other factors: 750 pounds of armor can be heard clanking around from a mile away, and immobility from carrying it around sick will stall Armourdillo before the others.

Finally, the u in his name indicates that Armourdillo is French, and the whole world knows the French are lovers, not fighters. (Van Damme is Korean).
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Post by zZzacha » Fri Sep 05, 2008 12:58 pm

WoW, my sharky Sharkitraz is really working on a come-back! I think he's going to win this battle after all...

Darn darn, even if I mobilize whole Holland to vote for Sharkitraz, he cannot win this. I still think he does his best, with his tattoos and all. But somewhere he might have gotten stuck in a rock. That's like a prison, man, hard to get out of. He is working on his break out but it just takes so darn long to dig your way out!
strawman wrote:Finally, the u in his name indicates that Armourdillo is French, and the whole world knows the French are lovers, not fighters. (Van Damme is Korean).
strawman, I hate to blow your bubble. I even hate to be a wisegirl, but I'm doing it anywayz! Jean-Claude is Belgian ("The Muscles from Brussels"). Although you can say that Belgium is like Korea in some ways, so you were very close.
So yes, you can safely say the French are lovers, not fighters :]

Okay. I have to go mobilize some Dutch people to vote.
I'll be there in 5 minutes. If not, read this again.

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Post by cammoblammo » Fri Sep 05, 2008 3:10 pm

strawman wrote:Last night at 11, Armourdillo led by 3 votes. At 5 AM this morning, the lead has increased by 20.
:x
Apparently our competition is being hacked by Orientals, (or Australians).
Australia is known for it's ability to bend the rules a bit---just ask New Zealand cricket fans.

I'm only responsible for five of those extra votes, though.

And zZzacha, I've heard that the Netherlands are so densely populated you could sink half the country if you mobilized everyone in the wrong way. Please, be very, VERY careful.

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Post by tbaker2500 » Fri Sep 05, 2008 3:19 pm

strawman wrote:Last night at 11, Armourdillo led by 3 votes. At 5 AM this morning, the lead has increased by 20.
I'm responsible for 2 of those. Combined with the 5 just mentioned, that leaves 10 votes unnacounted for. I think that's possible.

I have to admit my voting strategy.

A. I HATE being sick, therefore, I can't even look at Pandemic.
2. Having lost the previous 2 rounds, I was trying to vote for whoever Delfedd was voting for. :-)
iii. I think that any of these guys could win, unlike previous rounds. Therefore, I don't really care too much who wins. Except Pandemic. Sorry.
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Post by Mr. Tweedy » Fri Sep 05, 2008 3:56 pm

I'm getting in 4 votes a day. I was getting 2 last round, but I recent got a new computer and it came with an iPod touch, so two extra voting devices... Egads! My Wii! I haven't been voting on my Wii! What a fool I have been!

Hmm... You can get a bare-bones PC for around $250... discounts for buying in bulk... So I could literally buy all the votes I want. About $1000 for every 5 votes. For $10,000 I could vote 50 times per day and completely control the outcome. But am I that dedicated?
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Post by Joe Ego » Fri Sep 05, 2008 4:48 pm

First, I want to let strawman know I take very good care of my rats. They actually get the coke once every 50 presses. My rats have also been known to keep the hours of an Aussie...

Also, the "ou" in the name is more of a Britishism (colour, honour, etc). It would be absolutely horrible if a Frenchman or francophile were to get very far in this type of competition. And that includes any of you Quebecois Stagma thinking of horning in on the action.

Really, I find few things relax me before sleep as well as seeing Armourdillo leave hacked-off limbs strewn over the arena. This round is called The Revenge. Armourdillo, to a certain degree, is the revengencer of the Indomitable Snowman and all other humanoid competitors shafted by the vagaries of communist plots and the victim mentality.

Finally, my bbardle concept for a Armourdillo ballad would use something Trogdor/Dethklok-esque as a starting point, a bit of Dream Theater in the middle, and a triumphantly militaristic flourish for the coda. Something epic. Something reflective of Armourdillo's massive win margin over the pretenders in round 3 and looking forward to triumph in the finals.

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Post by strawman » Fri Sep 05, 2008 6:01 pm

Sure Armourdillo puts on a good show. Sure he's a rockstar celebrity who has a vague resemblance to a human being.
We've all heard his dramatic speeches before devoted followers. But when the cloud of rhetoric has passed, when the roar of the crowd fades away, when the stadium lights go out and those styrofoam Greek columns are hauled back to some studio lot, what exactly is our opponents plan?

Harry Seldon hath foretold Pandemic. Armourdillo is the Mule. Remember, all that glitters is not pixies!
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Post by adam » Fri Sep 05, 2008 6:50 pm

what the heck is going on here???

i go out of town for a week, and get a little preoccupied with school starting back up, and scraptor drops from a triumphant (and merited) lead to a distant third? this, i cannot stand for.

because i have a dream. a dream where brothers and sisters of all nationalities and creeds come together as one, and recognize that mechanical raptors have every possible advantage in the battle arena. armourdillo is a hoss, no doubt, but i dont think you guys voting for him arent getting your heads around the kind of strength hydrolic legs are packing. ive done some research on different basic hydraulic lift models, and every one i found was smaller than a set of 2ton raptor legs, but could lift around 12,000 lbs. that's twelve thousand! for a home model hydraulic lift.. which we can only assume is inferior to the technology behind whatever mad genius designed Scraptor (Bo). also, that's 1 hydraulic pump per leg, equaling a total of 24,000lbs of lift power... six times armourdillo's weight after he's got his gear on.

according to helium.com utahraptors could hit speeds of 60mph- the purely biological ones. slap a 12,000lb hydraulic lift on each leg and can you even imagine how fast that badass is trucking it? or how high he can jump, or how powerful that's going to be when he slams into you?

and finally, according to wikipedia, "Recent tests on reconstructions of the smaller Velociraptor suggest that claws of this type were used for stabbing or suffocating its prey, not slashing into their hide... They are known to be one of the most intelligent species." that means he isn't going to be trying to slash through armourdillos plated hide (though i submit to you, with that kind of power, he easily could) but rather he's going to be going straight for the throat.

so i know my petition is coming out too late to make enough of a difference.. but try to re-envision this fight people. dont just imagine some reptile lunging at a huge invulnerable viking who can swat it out of the air with his battle axe. picture an instinct driven, tactically flawless beast, equal in size, rushing around him at hundreds of miles per hour, burning into him with a precision laser flawlessly aimed by a mechanical brain.. all the while evaluating the terrain, and his opponents responses in order to calculate the exact moment and direction from which he launches himself with unimaginable force- directly at armourdillo's throat.

steel claws packing 12000lbs of pressure can rip through his armor sure.. heck even just the blunt force of having a 2 ton beast slam into you at a hundred mph after lunging with cyborg-leg-strength would probably take armourdillo out from the sheer impact. but why go into all that? claw to the throat = instant kill. the only way dillo could win is if in the .0001 seconds of reaction time he has, he can get off an immediate, instant killing shot.


in summation, here's how it would pan out- sharkitraz rushes for pandemic, both are taken out, as has been pointed out and generally agreed upon (except by the people still voting for pandemic but wont say why :p). scraptor and armourdillo have about 3 minutes to duke it out before they're debilitated by pandemics deathcloud of disease. scraptor kites a circle or two around armourdillo at blinding speeds, hitting him in every weakspot with a laser blast. dizzy, confused, panicking, and hurting from laser shots, armordillo balls up and goes into invulnerable stone-mode for 5 seconds to recoup and think things through. meanwhile scraptor positions himself directly behind him, so that the moment he comes out of stone-form he gets 6 tons of steel clawed squeeze on his neck. game over.

it's not too late! we've got a couple days left to change the course of history here and give victory to the one who clearly deserves it!

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