Hellaphant vs. Squid Vicious vs. Lucifoul vs. Evisceraptor
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My Vote
HELLAPHANT
Not since the dreaded Hellifiknow came into existence years ago have I seen anything more feared and respected, that is, until I recently encountered the Hellaphant. With awesome weapons, an even cooler picture, and a name that ROCKS the house there is no doubt that Hellaphant will take it all.
In response to tbaker2500, when he said:
"Hellaphant - would be good, but he is the natural prey for Evisceraptor. The smaller hunter will win against the larger prey. Just watch Animal Planet - it always happens."
As a listener of this show I thought you'd be watching the "only channel worth watching" - The Sci Fi Channel. If you had been watching this channel you would know that size doesn't matter, because on Sci Fi weird crap happens all the time.
Sevenfooter1
Not since the dreaded Hellifiknow came into existence years ago have I seen anything more feared and respected, that is, until I recently encountered the Hellaphant. With awesome weapons, an even cooler picture, and a name that ROCKS the house there is no doubt that Hellaphant will take it all.
In response to tbaker2500, when he said:
"Hellaphant - would be good, but he is the natural prey for Evisceraptor. The smaller hunter will win against the larger prey. Just watch Animal Planet - it always happens."
As a listener of this show I thought you'd be watching the "only channel worth watching" - The Sci Fi Channel. If you had been watching this channel you would know that size doesn't matter, because on Sci Fi weird crap happens all the time.
Sevenfooter1
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- tbaker2500
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Re: My Vote
Now that is hard to argue with.confusedgreen wrote:Owl's are highly adaptable and intelligent (just finished The Way of the Owl). Lucifoul flies. It will haunt you in your nightmares. I used to have nightmares with owls, where they chased me and pecked my eyes out.
The end.
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- Mr. Tweedy
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Spore is pretty awesome. I was really impressed by how easy it is to make critters. I've only got the free "creature creator" demo, though, so I can't do a whole lot with it. I think someone with the full version should be able to make all of the Mega Beasts®. That would also be pretty awesome.
I'll probably buy Spore when it comes out on Wii... Provided the Wii version doesn't totally suck, which, judging by history, it probably will.
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How does Raptor reaction to Fowl's illusions? Does his analytical brain overheat trying to make sense of them or does it mark them down as "illogical" and ignore them entirely? It seems like a computer brain's reaction would be on one extreme or the other, but which? Like, if your computer tries to open a corrupt file, it can hang up and crash, but if it recognizes it as corrupt, it'll just ignore it and move on.
I'll probably buy Spore when it comes out on Wii... Provided the Wii version doesn't totally suck, which, judging by history, it probably will.
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How does Raptor reaction to Fowl's illusions? Does his analytical brain overheat trying to make sense of them or does it mark them down as "illogical" and ignore them entirely? It seems like a computer brain's reaction would be on one extreme or the other, but which? Like, if your computer tries to open a corrupt file, it can hang up and crash, but if it recognizes it as corrupt, it'll just ignore it and move on.
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That's a good question. I'm inclined to believe the latter and that would give Raptor a pretty big advantage in dealing with Lucifoul.Mr. Tweedy wrote:
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How does Raptor reaction to Fowl's illusions? Does his analytical brain overheat trying to make sense of them or does it mark them down as "illogical" and ignore them entirely? .
Also, concerning Hellephant's teleporting- that he can't teleport indefinitely just means it uses energy and will exhaust/overheat him, as if he were sprinting nonstop. He needs to take breathers.
Only 1 voice message so far- think of all the xtra votes people!
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LUCIFOUL
I have Spore. It's un-frickin' believable. Plucky has down a heck of a job here; the critters look awesome, dude.
I'm frankly amazed some of you are seeing things the way you are. This is arguably the most important thing that will happen this year, and I think you guys need to put more thought into it.
Screw the Presidential election, economy, etc -- this is Mega-Beasts, people. With claws.
The more and more I think about this fight, the more I lean towards Lucifoul. I think what has put him over the line is his access to all battlefield intelligence, including ole' chrono's ability to see the cause-effect of his actions. Furthermore, in addition to wicked intelligence and an unmatched strafing ability, if things aren't to Lucifoul's favor, he just vanishes.
Imagine that for a second -- things are tough? He blinks out for a bit, until the situation once again matches his pre-determined engagement guidelines. This is assuming he ever even gets in a tough spot -- considering he's got a hotline into the future.
He's the only competitor here who can completely change the entire course of the fight, leave it if he doesn't like it, and alter his opponent's actions. Even if he winds up with a final fight against any of the others, he'll just mind-control them and have them disembowel themselves.
He has three personalities, all right, and they're all twisted evil and brilliant. Someone said three drunks. Hah! Think instead Hannibal Lecter, Emperor Palpatine, and Yellow Bastard rolled into one package. Would you tangle with those three guys at once?
The other three competitors are all brutes. They're stuck in the fight with limited-at-best abilities to react and counter-attack. When you match three straight-up battlers against a purely evil entity with the innate ability to alter the nature of the battle itself, and move its chess pieces six steps ahead of everyone else, you've got a winner.
The evil bird gets the worm.
I have Spore. It's un-frickin' believable. Plucky has down a heck of a job here; the critters look awesome, dude.
I'm frankly amazed some of you are seeing things the way you are. This is arguably the most important thing that will happen this year, and I think you guys need to put more thought into it.
Screw the Presidential election, economy, etc -- this is Mega-Beasts, people. With claws.
The more and more I think about this fight, the more I lean towards Lucifoul. I think what has put him over the line is his access to all battlefield intelligence, including ole' chrono's ability to see the cause-effect of his actions. Furthermore, in addition to wicked intelligence and an unmatched strafing ability, if things aren't to Lucifoul's favor, he just vanishes.
Imagine that for a second -- things are tough? He blinks out for a bit, until the situation once again matches his pre-determined engagement guidelines. This is assuming he ever even gets in a tough spot -- considering he's got a hotline into the future.
He's the only competitor here who can completely change the entire course of the fight, leave it if he doesn't like it, and alter his opponent's actions. Even if he winds up with a final fight against any of the others, he'll just mind-control them and have them disembowel themselves.
He has three personalities, all right, and they're all twisted evil and brilliant. Someone said three drunks. Hah! Think instead Hannibal Lecter, Emperor Palpatine, and Yellow Bastard rolled into one package. Would you tangle with those three guys at once?
The other three competitors are all brutes. They're stuck in the fight with limited-at-best abilities to react and counter-attack. When you match three straight-up battlers against a purely evil entity with the innate ability to alter the nature of the battle itself, and move its chess pieces six steps ahead of everyone else, you've got a winner.
The evil bird gets the worm.
Author of "On Dasher", "Old Clara's Favorites", and a host of other tales available online and in print. Check out my site at http://jonathancg.net
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By the way, folks -- an Allosaurus moves very differently than a Utahraptor due to the increased size. I'd wager Evisceraptor, he of the dual liabilities, has a third: over or under-calculation due to the unexpected variable of increased mass and momentum.
Author of "On Dasher", "Old Clara's Favorites", and a host of other tales available online and in print. Check out my site at http://jonathancg.net
- tbaker2500
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First off- He swallow up three Tanukis. That is, three drunk, childish brains.jonathancg wrote: He has three personalities, all right, and they're all twisted evil and brilliant. Someone said three drunks. Hah! Think instead Hannibal Lecter, Emperor Palpatine, and Yellow Bastard rolled into one package. Would you tangle with those three guys at once?
But to take your point on face value? They'd hate each other! They don't want to share power, they each want ALL the power!
You're my quasi-ichthian angel, you're my half-amphibian queen...
The Dribblecast, we don't care if you sound like an idiot.
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- StalinSays
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thoughts
Let's do some brain surgery...
On the 3 personalities of Lucifoul
As it existed in my imagination, only a third of the mind share of Lucifoul is a spoiler oaf. It is a whole asylum of viewpoints, crystallized in to three, Freudian psyche interpretations of the round two competitors.
Personality 1, the 'super-ego,' with Lucifoul the dominant personality, is an evil entity, a combo of 70% Night Owl and 30% Sanitee. This is the malevolent, methodical, scheming super-villain megalomaniac, with unfaltering will.
Personality two, the 'ego,' is a vacillating, half in, half out regulator, who bungles the killer instinct in favor of 'realistic' compromise. This if formed from 100% Tanuki gunner, the better-life-striving, amicable, functional alcoholic, who wants to do right by everybody.
Personality three, the 'id,' is 40% testicle pilot 1, 40% testicle pilot 2, and 20% Chronocerous. It is instinctual and hedonistic, more concerned with diversion and pleasure seeking than the battle at hand. It hijacks the larger mind in search of a dimension of pure drunkenness. It can vicious in a pinch, and self preservation is a must, but doesn't have the mentality required to use the full breadth of Lucifoul's powers. Inept, not completely so. A danger, to the whole more meandering and self-interested than its skull-bound roommates.
The squabble between these sides of self is the real issue. As long as personality 1 can suppress what it considers the 'lesser selves,' Lucifoul is an unstoppable menace. Only a percentage of him rides the proverbial short buss.
On the Evisceraptor's mental wiring
I would extend the figure of "70% organic" to include Evisceraptor's brain. As such, he would not be 'immune' to the psychic assault of the Lucifoul. However, the cybernetic grafts and multiple forms of sight would make him generally less susceptible than other competitors. If Lucifoul was for example forcing the illusion of thousands of demonic owl duplicates swarming on the Evisceraptor's position, it would initially panic and flee, but soon after a field scan and thermal view would reveal no threat. At that point the CPU would override the terror, and send the beast back in to the thick filled with outrage and hateful intent.
Also, before it comes up, a terminal "logical inconsistency" is not one Lucifoul illusion away. There is a needful partition in the Evisceraptor's mind, between the CPU and organic gray matter. Think master and slave drives. The one might be gripped in confusion and fear, but can be silenced or rebooted without the degradation of the sum total.
On the Hellaphant's strategy
We all seem to be missing two key aspects of the Hellaphant that color his chances. 1, He is no dummy ("bestial in its pursuits, it is not unintelligent"). Though an overall third in smarts behind the guru of gore Lucifoul, and the cyborg skin shredder Evisceraptor, he still possesses the wits to keep his footing in advanced strategy conflicts. 2, he has stunning spores. If Lucifoul is perched, analyzing the field, imagine his dismay and utter ruination when the Hellaphant pops in behind him and spores him in the noggin.' Forget a mentally overwhelmed Lucifoul, a stunned Lucifoul is complete toast. He is a purple and magenta splat on the underside of Hellaphant's mighty heel.
On the 3 personalities of Lucifoul
As it existed in my imagination, only a third of the mind share of Lucifoul is a spoiler oaf. It is a whole asylum of viewpoints, crystallized in to three, Freudian psyche interpretations of the round two competitors.
Personality 1, the 'super-ego,' with Lucifoul the dominant personality, is an evil entity, a combo of 70% Night Owl and 30% Sanitee. This is the malevolent, methodical, scheming super-villain megalomaniac, with unfaltering will.
Personality two, the 'ego,' is a vacillating, half in, half out regulator, who bungles the killer instinct in favor of 'realistic' compromise. This if formed from 100% Tanuki gunner, the better-life-striving, amicable, functional alcoholic, who wants to do right by everybody.
Personality three, the 'id,' is 40% testicle pilot 1, 40% testicle pilot 2, and 20% Chronocerous. It is instinctual and hedonistic, more concerned with diversion and pleasure seeking than the battle at hand. It hijacks the larger mind in search of a dimension of pure drunkenness. It can vicious in a pinch, and self preservation is a must, but doesn't have the mentality required to use the full breadth of Lucifoul's powers. Inept, not completely so. A danger, to the whole more meandering and self-interested than its skull-bound roommates.
The squabble between these sides of self is the real issue. As long as personality 1 can suppress what it considers the 'lesser selves,' Lucifoul is an unstoppable menace. Only a percentage of him rides the proverbial short buss.
On the Evisceraptor's mental wiring
I would extend the figure of "70% organic" to include Evisceraptor's brain. As such, he would not be 'immune' to the psychic assault of the Lucifoul. However, the cybernetic grafts and multiple forms of sight would make him generally less susceptible than other competitors. If Lucifoul was for example forcing the illusion of thousands of demonic owl duplicates swarming on the Evisceraptor's position, it would initially panic and flee, but soon after a field scan and thermal view would reveal no threat. At that point the CPU would override the terror, and send the beast back in to the thick filled with outrage and hateful intent.
Also, before it comes up, a terminal "logical inconsistency" is not one Lucifoul illusion away. There is a needful partition in the Evisceraptor's mind, between the CPU and organic gray matter. Think master and slave drives. The one might be gripped in confusion and fear, but can be silenced or rebooted without the degradation of the sum total.
On the Hellaphant's strategy
We all seem to be missing two key aspects of the Hellaphant that color his chances. 1, He is no dummy ("bestial in its pursuits, it is not unintelligent"). Though an overall third in smarts behind the guru of gore Lucifoul, and the cyborg skin shredder Evisceraptor, he still possesses the wits to keep his footing in advanced strategy conflicts. 2, he has stunning spores. If Lucifoul is perched, analyzing the field, imagine his dismay and utter ruination when the Hellaphant pops in behind him and spores him in the noggin.' Forget a mentally overwhelmed Lucifoul, a stunned Lucifoul is complete toast. He is a purple and magenta splat on the underside of Hellaphant's mighty heel.
- StalinSays
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votin'
Just posted up a help image for how to cast the official forum vote. I know a poll might be a touch easier, but its easier to cheat as well, and solicits less talk.
We have 5 forum votes so far (constituting 75 votes to the final tally), thanks to all who have committed, but don't stress a further wait. The forum vote cut off is the same as the site (Sunday, 11:59:59 PM).
So you know, we're going to be count Nazis, so even if your intent and favorite are crystal clear, we won't count your forum vote until it is seen in the huge, bold style. Maenos be forewarned, Evisceraptor is down would-be 15 votes until you drop his name in that style.
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Oh yeah, and do like Norm says - vote by phone. You and two friends are 90 votes, that is like a week's worth of site voting. BE HEARD!
We have 5 forum votes so far (constituting 75 votes to the final tally), thanks to all who have committed, but don't stress a further wait. The forum vote cut off is the same as the site (Sunday, 11:59:59 PM).
So you know, we're going to be count Nazis, so even if your intent and favorite are crystal clear, we won't count your forum vote until it is seen in the huge, bold style. Maenos be forewarned, Evisceraptor is down would-be 15 votes until you drop his name in that style.
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Oh yeah, and do like Norm says - vote by phone. You and two friends are 90 votes, that is like a week's worth of site voting. BE HEARD!
- Mr. Tweedy
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Thinking out loud...
I think there are clear winners given one-to-one matchups.
Squid > Fowl - Squid's chaotic and wanton nature hinder Fowl's foresight and put him at risk of a psychotic episode. Squid's flame weapons are highly effective against the feathered fiend. Owl has no weapons capable of totally destroying Squid in his undead form. Fearless Squid is undaunted by dark magic.
Fowl > Hellephant - Really, Hellephant has got no chance. Fowl foresight predicts his teleportations and meets him with hot lead. Illusions are highly effective against this, the only "normal" minded competitor. Mind-jack clinches it: Hellephant dies.
Fowl > Raptor - The simple half-machine mind will be easy as pie to posses. Fowl's pocket-demension dodge thwarts laser attacks. Flight thwarts melee. Raptor has difficulty avoiding prescience-guided gunfire.
Hellephant > Squid - Squid's weapons are mostly low-impact, damage-over-time. Fire and Cold will take too much time to penetrate Hellephant's thick armor. His tentacled attacks will have difficulty getting past the skin blades. Hellephant's heavy melee abilities combined with his teleport-*splat* attack spell minced squid in short order.
Raptor > Hellephant - This a tough battle between well-matched competitors, but in the end Raptor's superior endurance wins out. The tireless cyborg can simply keep dodging until Hellephant gets tired, then go in for the death bite while he's feeling sluggish. Raptor's ability to burrow further lessens the effectiveness of the *splat* attack. Eye laser shoot down stunning spores.
Raptor = Squid - This is a complete toss-up. Nimble dodges against flailing limbs. Laser beams against spraying fire. Pestilent bite against larvae stinger. Zombie endurance against a cleaving axe-tale.
This doesn't help me decide who will win...
I think there are clear winners given one-to-one matchups.
Squid > Fowl - Squid's chaotic and wanton nature hinder Fowl's foresight and put him at risk of a psychotic episode. Squid's flame weapons are highly effective against the feathered fiend. Owl has no weapons capable of totally destroying Squid in his undead form. Fearless Squid is undaunted by dark magic.
Fowl > Hellephant - Really, Hellephant has got no chance. Fowl foresight predicts his teleportations and meets him with hot lead. Illusions are highly effective against this, the only "normal" minded competitor. Mind-jack clinches it: Hellephant dies.
Fowl > Raptor - The simple half-machine mind will be easy as pie to posses. Fowl's pocket-demension dodge thwarts laser attacks. Flight thwarts melee. Raptor has difficulty avoiding prescience-guided gunfire.
Hellephant > Squid - Squid's weapons are mostly low-impact, damage-over-time. Fire and Cold will take too much time to penetrate Hellephant's thick armor. His tentacled attacks will have difficulty getting past the skin blades. Hellephant's heavy melee abilities combined with his teleport-*splat* attack spell minced squid in short order.
Raptor > Hellephant - This a tough battle between well-matched competitors, but in the end Raptor's superior endurance wins out. The tireless cyborg can simply keep dodging until Hellephant gets tired, then go in for the death bite while he's feeling sluggish. Raptor's ability to burrow further lessens the effectiveness of the *splat* attack. Eye laser shoot down stunning spores.
Raptor = Squid - This is a complete toss-up. Nimble dodges against flailing limbs. Laser beams against spraying fire. Pestilent bite against larvae stinger. Zombie endurance against a cleaving axe-tale.
This doesn't help me decide who will win...
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- StalinSays
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Re: My vote
No worries, and sorry to call you out: just wanted to make sure it got across we were counting only the big font. At the end of the two weeks, to go and read posts and try and guess intentions, it would have been just too hazy. It was clear who you thought was king pimp, but it might not have been with another poster, and then its a discussion and controversy. Plus now Eviceraptor gets another 15 votes and pulls even.Maenos wrote:guess I needed to officially vote, thanks for the heads up
We just need some Squid Vicious love to make things all yang and balanced. My hope of hopes is that the contest will be too close to call going in to the final podcast, and the winner will unfold as a huge revelation, similar to the 2007 original, with the allotted controversy and contention.
- tbaker2500
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Re: votin'
StalinSays wrote: Oh yeah, and do like Norm says - vote by phone. You and two friends are 90 votes, that is like a week's worth of site voting. BE HEARD!
Ummm... How are you supposed to vote 90 times in a week? Is there a cheat I'm missing?
Also, re: phone calls. Can I call in several times using different voices and get multiple votes?
You're my quasi-ichthian angel, you're my half-amphibian queen...
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Re: votin'
Totally, but it only counts if you fool me. I figure if anyone is that talented at impersonations or voices they deserve the extra votes. I'll take the call ID off my skype to be fair. How good is your Mr Tweedy impression Tom? hehetbaker2500 wrote:Also, re: phone calls. Can I call in several times using different voices and get multiple votes?

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Re: votin'
No fair! We all know who the best impersonator around these here parts is!normsherman wrote:I figure if anyone is that talented at impersonations or voices they deserve the extra votes.
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My vote
I don't have access to Skype and I'm not rich enough to pay international rates, so I recorded my phone-in vote and emailed it to the Drabblecast. I'm getting around my fair share of browsers... I mean, getting both my friends to vote for the beast of their choice on a daily basis. What's left?
Oh, that's right.
Lucifoul
FTW!!!!!
Oh, that's right.
Lucifoul
FTW!!!!!
- StalinSays
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Re: My vote
Oh yeah, forgot to note that option on the Phone Voting page. It is completely legal and totally encouraged.cammoblammo wrote:I don't have access to Skype and I'm not rich enough to pay international rates, so I recorded my phone-in vote and emailed it to the Drabblecast.
Well, I meant a week's worth of general votes for the whole pack... I guess; even I in my obsessiveness don't get in that many in a week. The way things have been escalating, with around 900 total by the end tally in round 3, my speculative number is wildly inaccurate. I see the confusion.tbaker2500 wrote:Ummm... How are you supposed to vote 90 times in a week? Is there a cheat I'm missing?
No, there isn't a new cheat. In fact, after last round, we added two new layers of security to the back end sniffer, so there are 'less cheats.' We've gone back to the more organic 'convince disinterested friends and family.'
If you can trick the sacred call box tender, I guess anything is possible. As noted on the site, we're lucky the Police Academy guy isn't a member of the community.tbaker2500 wrote:Also, re: phone calls. Can I call in several times using different voices and get multiple votes?
I'm getting my mom to call in. A healthy 30 votes, though I shudder to think what is to come on the ensuing podcast.
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If you don't vote for Lucifoul, the terrorists have already won.
Just throwing that out there.
Just throwing that out there.
Author of "On Dasher", "Old Clara's Favorites", and a host of other tales available online and in print. Check out my site at http://jonathancg.net
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This probably needs to be taken into account... judging by the mantle-to-tentacle proportions in the art, SV seems to be a Colossal rather than an Architeuthis. If comic books teach us anything, it is that even with all the weaponry in the world, a 99-pound weakling (or a half-ton one) will still get sand kicked in his face by someone with a sufficiently square jaw.