Prelude

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normsherman
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Prelude

Post by normsherman » Fri Jul 24, 2009 3:24 am

Image

Back by popular demand, the third annual Mega-Beast Death-Match: pointless as tits on a bull, serious as a heart-attack. More information as it becomes available (AKA we finish stuff). For now, revel in anticipation.

Visit the official site to learn more
http://www.mega-beasts.com

That is, when there is more to learn (AKA we finish stuff).
"Give us all some Jelly"

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StalinSays
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so yeah

Post by StalinSays » Fri Jul 24, 2009 3:32 am

Howdy all. Norm and I have had some initial brainstorming, and I'm art'ing up the preliminary round as we speak. The planned set-up is a set of 16 candidates, with simple description and illustration. Voters will rank them in order of preference, the top 9 then getting full treatment, and comprising the 3 main voting rounds.

So here is the deal - we have about 10 contenders we're married too. It gets looser after that. Anyone care to hazard a concept? Give me an animal, some powers, or just a bad pun, and I'll see if we can't turn it in to an option.

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Post by jonathancg » Fri Jul 24, 2009 3:48 am

Oh. Hell. Yes.

So glad to see this coming back.

Some concepts:

Murderpede: A giant millipede about twelve feet long and a foot around with cutting blades or other nasty implements like scissors and butcher knives for each leg, with armored, segmented sections. Destroying segments won't help because they can operate independently.

Bull Shift: A bull with hydraulic or super-muscular back legs, a reinforced spinal column, and unbelievable damage resilience. Bull Shift can turn on a dime and can accelerate with breathtaking speed. His head is a lumpy knob of multiple, cancerous bone spurs and horns that have made him insane, but provide him with frontal armor more than a foot thick.

Mantis Ray: A flying manta ray that can fade in and out of shadows and manipulate light, as well as utterly dissapear in low-light conditions. Has a twin set of wicked scything insect-like claws tucked in close to its chest. Is fond of blotting out an opponent in total darkness and slicing it to pieces. Tough skin, but fairly vulnerable underbelly.
Author of "On Dasher", "Old Clara's Favorites", and a host of other tales available online and in print. Check out my site at http://jonathancg.net

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Mr. Tweedy
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Post by Mr. Tweedy » Sat Jul 25, 2009 5:42 am

Do they have to fictitious beasts?

My first thought is The Obamanation: A grotesque fusion of weasel and vampire bat. Although small and physically weak, Obamanation has tremendous powers of persuasion. Any creature that hears his voice will be instantly persuaded of whatever Obamanation wants them to believe. This ability is used in tandem with his second power: Using his foot-long fangs, Obamanation sucks the essence from a victim and assumes their powers as his own. He is extremely agile, able to weasel through the smallest loopholes and sustain flight for short periods with his bat wings.

Strengths: Can take control of any beast that hears him. Fast and agile. Can steal the powers from other beasts, Kirby style.

Weaknesses: Very fragile, unarmored. Persuasive powers have no effect outside of vocal range. Persuasion greatly diminished if his teleprompter is destroyed.

:roll:
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normsherman
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Post by normsherman » Sat Jul 25, 2009 6:16 am

Vs. Senator John McPain?
"Give us all some Jelly"

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Mr. Tweedy
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Post by Mr. Tweedy » Sat Jul 25, 2009 6:29 am

normsherman wrote:Vs. Senator John McPain?
Nah. Go with Sarah Preylin. (Keep it clean now!)
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Post by suxshadows » Sat Jul 25, 2009 7:10 am

Mr. Tweedy wrote:Do they have to fictitious beasts?

My first thought is The Obamanation: A grotesque fusion of weasel and vampire bat. Although small and physically weak, Obamanation has tremendous powers of persuasion. Any creature that hears his voice will be instantly persuaded of whatever Obamanation wants them to believe. This ability is used in tandem with his second power: Using his foot-long fangs, Obamanation sucks the essence from a victim and assumes their powers as his own. He is extremely agile, able to weasel through the smallest loopholes and sustain flight for short periods with his bat wings.

Strengths: Can take control of any beast that hears him. Fast and agile. Can steal the powers from other beasts, Kirby style.

Weaknesses: Very fragile, unarmored. Persuasive powers have no effect outside of vocal range. Persuasion greatly diminished if his teleprompter is destroyed.

:roll:

heh I like this one myself.
easy now, fuzzy little man-peach...

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Post by suxshadows » Sat Jul 25, 2009 7:14 am

Can I also say, for the record, how happy I am that it's this time of year again? The MBDM is like Christmas in summer for me. Except there's less depression and disappointment.
easy now, fuzzy little man-peach...

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Post by strawman » Sat Jul 25, 2009 11:18 am

I suggest there is a wealth of candidate possibilities in Drabblenews, which could be augmented by combination.
An Alaskan bot-fly vampire sea blob? OK, so I can't think of a clever name, but just imagining it makes me want to turn it into a bedtime story for my kids. With PICTURES.
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Phenopath
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Post by Phenopath » Sat Jul 25, 2009 12:43 pm

Oh oh, I have got a couple...

Chimpanpsycho

The cousin that nobody talks about. Raised in a vat by a deranged vivisectionist this cyborg-ape is one sick puppy. Skull cap replaced by with screwtop for easy access, hyper-augmented muscles and a shoulder mounted plasma cannon empower this beast to fulfill his one desire... to kill. This transvestite terror wears a dress on the battlefield.


Slugfest

A strict vegetarian, this monster mollusk is a malevolent lettuce powered menace. A slug the size of a bulldozer his slime is concentrated hydrochloric acid, leaving a trail of death. His dorsal blowhole sprays deadly slime 10m into the air. He is not quick across the battlefield, but this pugilist will stand upright to rain a barrage of blows upon his enemy with concealed tentacles. He then draws his stunned enemy into a deadly embrace. Prefers to fight in the rain.

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Post by jonathancg » Sun Jul 26, 2009 11:24 pm

I heartily endorse the idea of a heartily endowed slug. Sounds like a winner.
Author of "On Dasher", "Old Clara's Favorites", and a host of other tales available online and in print. Check out my site at http://jonathancg.net

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Post by deflective » Mon Jul 27, 2009 1:00 am

pavlov's shreddinger

a small beast that looks like the cross between a cat and a dog.

strengths:
unmatched flash-like speed & conditioned reflexes
metal claws able to cut anything
high cunning

weakness:
when looked at directly there is 50% chance that the shreddinger dies immediately. if it survives it will flee single-mindedly, trying move out of the line of sight.


pavlov's shreddinger is a creature of cunning and stealth. it tries to avoid personal combat and instigate fights between the other beasts. both terrain and the corpses of fallen beasts are used to advantage.

it's incredible speed and conditioned reflexes lets it anticipate and react to opponent's actions almost before they realize it. the only indication of the shreddinger's presence is a ringing sound as metal claws strike the ground and the trail of fresh saliva from an ever dripping mouth.

once it decides to engage an opponent physically it will attack from behind, the ringing of it's claws becomes a high pitched shriek as it shreds an extended strip off it's opponent and retreats before the target can react. it will do this again and again until it shreds any defense. the saliva may act as lubricant or solvent as necessary.

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StalinSays
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I like it

Post by StalinSays » Mon Jul 27, 2009 6:55 pm

We have some excellent early candidates. Working a couple in to my sketching. Keep em' coming!

My buddy is taking a bit to rig up the 2009 voting mechanic. I will have to create an exhibition match if we are not going to be launching in to August with the official nitty and gritty. Be on the look out.

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Dr. Sabotage!'s Fabulous Beasts.

Post by Dr. Sabotage! » Thu Aug 06, 2009 5:13 am

Cattlesnake - Originally bred to deter milk poachers, these 900 pound half-dairycow/half-rattlesnake hybrids were considered by farmers to be dangerous and impractical. Unable to inspire a realistic solution in the agricultural industrial, the cattlesnake now maunders the Midwest inspiring fear. Feeding off elk, coyote, and the occasional backpackers, these abandoned scaly-bovines are a growing problem amongst American's fertile plains. It is speculated that their milk is as delicious as their venom is deadly.

Beagull - A ground-nesting carnivore, this beagle/seagull hybrid lives mostly in densely packed and noisy colonies. Known for their keen sense of smell and pack mentality, the beagull's size is greatly compensated for their large numbers and ability to locate prey with their scenting abilities.

Octopig - Eight cloven-tentacles, one curly tail, and pre-cured for your convenience, the unfortunate beginnings of the octopig began as man's solution for salty bacon in a future with slimmer coastlines. Due to budgetary setbacks, the development to perfect an octopig as a social and intelligent creature was cut, leaving the creation with the temperament of an octopus. The first, and only, man-made beast on the endangered species list, these semi-aquatic omnivores consume both plant and animal, meaning no one, on land or in the water, can ever truly be safe.

Beardactyl - A vestige from prehistoric times? Or a new species that evolved in isolation? Little is known about the beardactyl's origins, but what is clearly defined is that these winged bruins are an emerging threat to anything that crosses their path. Highly-complex wings are able to ensure an active flight, while supporting the beast's large body, stocky legs, long snout, shaggy hair, plantigrade paws with five nonretractile claws, and short tail. Few have seen the majestic flight of the beardactyl, and even fewer have lived to tell its tale.

Chegg - A transitory species between the chicken and an ancestor of unknown origin, the chegg answers the causality dilemma of which came first: the chicken or the egg? Offering nothing in terms of protection, the chegg's entire physical structure is that of a featherless oval body with the appendages of a domesticated fowl. "Discovered" by modern civilization recently as being raised in captivity by the elusive Osisí pygmy tribe, the chegg provides not the damage that leaves broken bones and lasting scars, but leaves his opponents in a state of metaphysical confusion. Unable to comprehend the logical fallacy and infinite regression the chegg introduces, most foes are unable to attack as they are utterly unable to comprehend.


Note: A more succinct description of these magnificent beasts was earlier written, but even I, Dr. Sabotage!, am victim of human error, and clicked on an inconveniently-placed link on the library's bookmark toolbar. They now are wordier, less thoughtful, dare I say erudite, for if I must suffer so shall you!

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Mr. Tweedy
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Post by Mr. Tweedy » Thu Aug 06, 2009 6:22 am

Chegg vs. The Obamanation would be pretty interesting...
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Post by strawman » Thu Aug 06, 2009 9:42 am

How about using the DC tee shirt art as the genesis of a SADM competitor? I know you told everyone the pig and the dolphin were just friends. But everyone who saw the shirt suspected you were just saying that. A pig with a dolphin on his back just wouldn't ever look that satisfied.
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StalinSays
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indeed

Post by StalinSays » Thu Aug 06, 2009 6:30 pm

strawman wrote:How about using the DC tee shirt art as the genesis of a SADM competitor?
Octodolphig is born.

Yes indeed, I will draw that. Lord knows how I could draw the chegg, but I would love to see it battle Pavlov's Shredinger. It'd probably be something like an Escher painting.

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Post by ROU Killing Time » Fri Aug 07, 2009 5:37 am

The Kangiru. (mutant cross between a kangaroo and a candiru)

A viscious hopping marsupial with spines and hooks at the end of it's long porcupine-quill like fur.

Most notable attack is the ability to immobilize it's opponents by lodging it's spined fur-quills in the unfortunate victim's urethra.

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strawman
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Post by strawman » Fri Aug 07, 2009 12:40 pm

It's time we had one of our forum members incorporated into the Death Match! I hereby nominate EurethROU, who attacks by swimming upstream into twisty little passages. :shock:
Never judge anyone until you have biopsied their brain.

"Be kind, for everyone is fighting a hard battle."
Known Some Call Is Air Am
Spoiler:
Non sum qualis eram = "I am not who I will be"

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Post by Phenopath » Fri Aug 07, 2009 8:15 pm

Ye gads, how about the murder turtle posted on reddit today?

http://newmedia.funnyjunk.com/pictures/murderturtle.gif

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