Dear Illustrious Sir,
My name is Mgambgosi Adipose, and I am a barrister representing the estate of Mr Hakuna Mifune who unexpectedly lost his life while noodling for Mongolian Death Worms. Your own record of actions that display conspicuous intelligence and prudence suggests that you may be Mr Mifune's long lost relative and only heir.
Mr Mifune's bequest of a pair of World Cup box seat tickets, with sufficient funds for first-class transportation to Johannesburg and purchase of unlimited vuvuzelas and a habitation in the city that would befit your status as Mr Mifune's heir, awaits your urgent reply.
Under a clear and legitimate agreement with you, I propose to expedite the processing of Mr Mifune's estate if you agree to share the seating with me at the World Cup Finals.
I will serve as your representative and have the funds deposited into any account that you will provide. Should you prove unavailable, it will all go our industrious neighbor whom you may know from his excellent judging of the US-Slovenia match, or to the high-achieving coach of the North Korean team. Some of the French players may also be appropriate candidates.
Please make available to me the following information so that we can proceed with you rather than with these worthy competitors for Mr Mifune's fortune.
Your Phone numbers
Tribe and Native Languages
Your American Social Security Number
You Bank Account and PIN.
I look forward to hear from you. This is the opportunity for which you have been waiting since the Internet was invented in your country.
Very Honestly Yours,
Barrister Mgambgosi Adipose
"Give us all some Jelly"