MB4 R2 - Lamb Chops vs. Big Boris vs. The Meth Worm

Which of the three Mega-Beasts are you voting for?

Lamb Chops
7
35%
Big Boris
5
25%
The Birmingham Meth Worm
8
40%
 
Total votes: 20

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strawman
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Re: MB4 R2 - Lamb Chops vs. Big Boris vs. The Meth Worm

Postby strawman » Wed Oct 06, 2010 12:46 am

Everyone knows the Aussie's fallen under the influence of the Wooly Bully
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Re: MB4 R2 - Lamb Chops vs. Big Boris vs. The Meth Worm

Postby Mikes » Wed Oct 06, 2010 12:48 am

I'm just accepting the inevitable.






Edit: removed the painfully bad pun.
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Re: MB4 R2 - Lamb Chops vs. Big Boris vs. The Meth Worm

Postby moonowl » Wed Oct 06, 2010 4:38 am

YAY! Good Job Mike!
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Re: MB4 R2 - Lamb Chops vs. Big Boris vs. The Meth Worm

Postby angagaur » Wed Oct 06, 2010 3:29 pm

Norm Sherman wrote:When I sent people voting for Gargantula, they saw Velasquez, cracked up, and voted for him.
When I sent people voting for Tristegotops, they saw Minotaurd, cracked up, and voted for him.
If Arnie and Jessie Ventura have taught us anything it's that people want to elect the best entertainment, not necessarily the best candidate.


I almost enlisted a sizable group of people who could each weild considerable voting power. Then I realized they might think and vote for themselves. It was a terrifying thought to consider. Now I know how politicians must feel! Best to leave them in ignorance and do their thinking for them.

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Re: MB4 R2 - Lamb Chops vs. Big Boris vs. The Meth Worm

Postby jannypie » Wed Oct 06, 2010 4:06 pm

You could always tell them something horrible will happen if they vote for the others. Works in campaign ads.
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Re: MB4 R2 - Lamb Chops vs. Big Boris vs. The Meth Worm

Postby Non-Euclidean Geo. » Wed Oct 06, 2010 6:43 pm

jannypie wrote:You could always tell them something horrible will happen if they vote for the others. Works in campaign ads.


What are you saying? The terrorists haven't won? Obamacare Death Panels aren't setting up shop in FEMA trailer park/concentration camps? Women will still talk to me when gays can marry?

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Re: MB4 R2 - Lamb Chops vs. Big Boris vs. The Meth Worm

Postby Mikes » Thu Oct 07, 2010 5:43 am

jannypie wrote:You could always tell them something horrible will happen if they vote for the others. Works in campaign ads.


Vote for Big Boris and Lenin will come back to life! Do you want a zombie Lenin on your conscience? Huh? Do ya?

Vote for the Birmingham Meth Worm and never again will you be able to turn on the television without seeing NASCAR and ads for Mountain Dew. Could you really live with yourself?
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Re: MB4 R2 - Lamb Chops vs. Big Boris vs. The Meth Worm

Postby strawman » Thu Oct 07, 2010 1:09 pm

Well now, just a Dagon minute there, Mr. Mikes. You being a furriner and all, you may not know that your dissin a sacred icon of america, namely the power to outrun the govermint.

Not having a govermint down there, I figure you never had to learn how to go fast, which explains why your all so SLOW :lol: .

All you other sheep abusers out there, listen to reason. Once we perfect replacing our nitro packs with meth cannisters, your pansy-ass Choppers gonna have 16" tire tracks right up the middle of their tender backsides.

Then they won't be waltzing with no Matilda no more.

Fer sure.
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Re: MB4 R2 - Lamb Chops vs. Big Boris vs. The Meth Worm

Postby Mikes » Thu Oct 07, 2010 8:42 pm

strawman wrote:Well now, just a Dagon minute there, Mr. Mikes. You being a furriner and all....


Hey, I've seen Borat!
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Re: MB4 R2 - Lamb Chops vs. Big Boris vs. The Meth Worm

Postby ejbman » Thu Oct 07, 2010 9:06 pm

Well, it is has now become clear, from the discussion on the podcast, that Boris will win.

As a result of the totally relevant insights about jousting ostriches, the height advantage always wins (as strawman should know).

Image

Boris clearly stands taller than all the other opponents, so he will win.

The only hesitation I have is that Adam has endorsed Lamb Chops (soon to be Mutton Stew), since Adam *is* the closest thing the Deathmatch has to prognosticating cephalapod, like Paul:

Image

However, Adam also came up with the insight about height advantage, so perhaps the two cancel out and Boris will simply win.

Of course, the other relevant theory is that Adam was simply drawn to Lamb Chops because of all of iron hardware Lamb Chops carries, and Adam's subconscious mind recognized all that iron as a potential source of cure for his anemia. Thus, like the tachyons that threw off the ability of Dr. Manhattan to see the future in Watchmen, the iron has thrown off Adam's oracular powers.
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Re: MB4 R2 - Lamb Chops vs. Big Boris vs. The Meth Worm

Postby Mikes » Thu Oct 07, 2010 11:12 pm

ejbman wrote:Of course, the other relevant theory is that Adam was simply drawn to Lamb Chops because of all of iron hardware Lamb Chops carries, and Adam's subconscious mind recognized all that iron as a potential source of cure for his anemia. Thus, like the tachyons that threw off the ability of Dr. Manhattan to see the future in Watchmen, the iron has thrown off Adam's oracular powers.


:lol:

I think I'm too late on this, but I'm going to write to Ask a Ninja and ask for his opinion. He has yet to go wrong on any advice yet.

Can we just explore the Street Fighter analogy a bit more? No one's said who BMW would be, but given the whole American thing I'd say Guile. And lets face it, no one played Guile. not even Guile's mum played Guile. Bar the sonic boom, or 'poor man's HADUKEN!', he was about as useful as a chocolate kettle. BMW's the odd one out that he has no fight training. Having at it in a Denny's car park (I lived in Canada for a while, and Denny's is forever burned into my memory) every saturday night does not count as training.
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Re: MB4 R2 - Lamb Chops vs. Big Boris vs. The Meth Worm

Postby jannypie » Fri Oct 08, 2010 12:09 am

Alright, I've been convinced to back Lamb Chops I think, even though he's small, the combination of his range and weaponry just gives him the advantage. His poison daggers might not have an affect on Meth Worm chemically, but as Norm put, a Worm is not like a Walrus. I've been fishing, worms are weak and squishy on the insides, and particularly prone to being severed by metal. The combination of shuriken, grappling hook and daggers from a range safely out of the fumes would slice wormy right up (above the jean jacket). The worm is fast but so are ninjas, so I really don't see a way that Wormfood won't become wormfood.

Against Boris, Lamb Chops can overcome the strength of the bear by misdirecting him with smoke bombs, and run him around until Boris is worn out and worthless. Everyone knows that's how little guys win the fight- keep dancing until the big guy tires out. Then go in and ninja that bear. Good stuff.

Mostly, though, I want to see what happens to Lamb Chops when he gains the abilities of the other two and goes on to the next round. He should easily increase in size by taking down Boris's 'roid-ified powers, and even more lethal with Meth's chemical constitution. Dunno who will win the author round, but Lamb Chops against Minotaurd is a battle I wanna see!


Also, my favorite Street Fighter was Ryu, and everyone knows you don't get to be the leader by losing.
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Re: MB4 R2 - Lamb Chops vs. Big Boris vs. The Meth Worm

Postby dreamrock » Fri Oct 08, 2010 7:33 am

Addressing some points from the podcast.

Russia is made of poison, industrial waste, and hazardously stored nuclear material.

I spent a month there in '99 and the tops of the trees are all stripped of bark and the Russians, when asked, think that's the way pine trees are supposed to be.

By any reasonable standard, BMW's poisons are completely irrelevant to Boris.

The only time meth addicts win against cops is when the cops are surprised by the addicts or when the cops accidentally break in on the meth lab. Boris isn't going to be surprised and, again, Boris is immune to BMW's poisons.

So, the question is whether or not Boris can beat Lamb Chops.

The definitive answer is yes. Sure, Boris is a Tank in MMO parlance and Lamb Chops is an assassin. But any reasonably skilled Tank can defeat an assassin that he knows is on the scene. Boris has the Cold War experience to see through Lamb Chops's tricks and assassins have almost no health in comparison to a Tank.

Boris will defeat all opponents, break their backs, and go out for another three hundred shots of vodka and several packs of black market cigarettes.

Dosvedanya, comrades.
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Re: MB4 R2 - Lamb Chops vs. Big Boris vs. The Meth Worm

Postby ejbman » Fri Oct 08, 2010 7:52 am

dreamrock wrote:Boris will defeat all opponents, break their backs, and go out for another three hundred shots of vodka and several packs of black market cigarettes.

Dosvedanya, comrades.


Well said. I would just add that I think Boris will probably skewer Tommy by the tail and swing him around in an ever-quickening toxic whirlwind of death, crushing any sheep or other livestock that might be in the way. This is a shame, because without the worm poisoning, Chops would have gone down well with a oil barrel full of borscht and the aforementioned vodka
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Re: MB4 R2 - Lamb Chops vs. Big Boris vs. The Meth Worm

Postby dreamrock » Fri Oct 08, 2010 8:25 am

ejbman wrote:This is a shame, because without the worm poisoning, Chops would have gone down well with a oil barrel full of borscht and the aforementioned vodka

Oh, Russian cuisine. Ugh. I had more cabbage soup and beets in that month in Russia than I had prior and after combined. :lol: Also a craptonne of cold tea (yes, cold, not iced; don't ask, I have no idea why), oatmeal, and dried fish soup (I guess that would be cold reconstituted fish soup).

As annoying as I make it sound, I loved Russia. Well, all of it except Moscow and the time I got food poisoning, both of which sucked.

Anyway, Boris will prevail. :D
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Re: MB4 R2 - Lamb Chops vs. Big Boris vs. The Meth Worm

Postby Non-Euclidean Geo. » Fri Oct 08, 2010 2:43 pm

dreamrock wrote:Boris is immune to BMW's poisons.


I think immunity is an overstatement. I imagine Boris having something of a tolerance. Still, while I'm pulling for the Worm, I like Boris also. Basically, I'm against Lamb Chops. While other folks are stuck on Street Fighter I'm thinking 1990's pre-weight class UFC fighting. The little tai kwon do and karate black belts got their heads handed to them by the hulking Greco-Roman fighters. They weren't even good fights to watch. They were just sad.

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Re: MB4 R2 - Lamb Chops vs. Big Boris vs. The Meth Worm

Postby tbaker2500 » Fri Oct 08, 2010 3:33 pm

Non-Euclidean Geo. wrote:I think immunity is an overstatement. I imagine Boris having something of a tolerance. Still, while I'm pulling for the Worm, I like Boris also. Basically, I'm against Lamb Chops. While other folks are stuck on Street Fighter I'm thinking 1990's pre-weight class UFC fighting. The little tai kwon do and karate black belts got their heads handed to them by the hulking Greco-Roman fighters. They weren't even good fights to watch. They were just sad.


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Re: MB4 R2 - Lamb Chops vs. Big Boris vs. The Meth Worm

Postby jonathancg » Fri Oct 08, 2010 6:06 pm

I love you all. Seriously.

One of my buddies was an XO of a tank battalion in Gulf War I. He's said before that if you watch any fight, the guys always wind up rolling around in the dirt. Basically, everything comes down to grappling.

So Lamb Chops is hosed. This leaves Big Boris on Meth Worm -- and Tommy is genetically a creature of the dirt, with natural burrowing and wiggling capabilities. Yet another reason to vote Tommy, and vote often.
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Re: MB4 R2 - Lamb Chops vs. Big Boris vs. The Meth Worm

Postby Zero_Sum » Fri Oct 08, 2010 9:47 pm

I'd say this is no contest. Lamp Chops, all the way.
Meth Worm will basically take out any one he takes on, but die in the process. For one, he's too drugged out to know what's going on. He's high as a kite and all sorts of toxin. Big Boris, being the epitome of The Motherland and still angry about the fall of the USSR, will naturally zero in on that which he hates the most: America. Meth Worm, being the epitome of all that is bad in America, will of course be irresistible to his rage. However, since Meth Worm is vile and toxic just to look at, he will likely poison Big Boris to death. However, being the product of all sorts of unholy-commie experimentation he may be able to resist the drugs. He may even be powered up by it. Or he could be horribly weakened.

Enter Lamb Chops.

Lamb Chops, master of stealth and the art of war, will no doubt either: a) Use his speed to avoid the other combatants, probably throwing in the occasional shuriken for SnG's or b) Disappear completely and wait to strike from the shadows, Dark-Knight style, and go all Sam Fisher on their asses.

After all, how often have you been playing [insert stealth/ninja game here] and you've stealth-killed a big ass baddie in 5 seconds flat?

Lamp Chops has this, hands down. He's going to Master-Miyagi-Wax-On-Wax-Off all over your face.

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Re: MB4 R2 - Lamb Chops vs. Big Boris vs. The Meth Worm

Postby ejbman » Fri Oct 08, 2010 10:43 pm

Lamb Chops is just going to be nipping at the heels of the other two like Paris Hilton's Chihuahua. His hardware is only going to tickle the the other two, if they even notice. Boris will use the kitana to pick fragments of Chop's skull from his teeth and use the shiruken to pick the wool out from under his nails, after using Chop's woolly hide to wipe the bloody worm pulp of Tommy off his rump, having sat on him.

Boris can't lose. Just like the commie pinkos on Wall Street who took government bailouts, he's literally too big to fail.
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