MBDM 2012 - Beast Suggestions [take 2]

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Christi
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Re: MBDM 2012 - Beast Suggestions [take 2]

Postby Christi » Fri Feb 10, 2012 8:30 pm

Its no big thing, lets get back to the Mega beasts, and forget about the real life monsters. The real world is starting to hurt my eyes

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Re: MBDM 2012 - Beast Suggestions [take 2]

Postby StalinSays » Sat Feb 11, 2012 12:39 am

Slaying Mantis
Pray all you will for mercy, you'll find none here. Forelimbs so quick their movement can only be seen via enhanced digital playback. Forelimbs so strong they bend steel. A 1 ton giant. Potential for short distance flight. Ambush attack centric. Capable of complete silence and motionlessness. Fond of his own head, with its incredibly sensitive, segmented eyes, and 300 degrees of rotational movement. Also fond of your head, which he plans to eat.

Tiger-Shark
Not the standard issue fish. Much, much worse. Half tiger-tiger, half tiger shark - a pure hybrid with the combined offensive threat of both beasts. 1.5 tons, 14 feet long, terrestrial. Moves with the speed of a shark through water. Rows of replaceable fangs and claws. Sharp scales make direct contact with Tiger-Shark akin to direct contact with a cheese-grater. Can determine the location of enemies via a unique electric sense organ below ears. Can smell blood from miles away. Must move to breathe.

Dryena
A bizarre hyena with porous, spongy skin. Absorbs all moisture from foes with prolonged contact, turning them in to petrified husks. A painful death, and as insult to injury he'll swing your hardened corpse as a cudgel. 4 months sober, carries yellow chip. "Nobody knows... how dry he is!"

Moosacrce
The natives told tales! The forest that walks! A moose of mythic proportions. 5.5 tons, 28 feet tall, 36 feet long. Humongous (40 feet across) metallic antlers alone weigh 2 tons. Primary means of attack is lowering head to ground and charging forward like a living bull-dozer, impaling foes on a twisted bramble of lethal protrusions. Temperatures of environment lowers with its approach. Breath eternally steams. Endurance and strength befitting of gargantuan size.

Warpoise
A harbor porpoise (Phocoena phocoena) fully integrated in to a walking battle suit. Part of an extravagant and eccentric military expenditure. Then Obama happened, and a tearful lead engineer was left to euthanize the portly fellow. In a moment of weakness, he opened the enclosure, and was killed on the spot. Now a redacted war machine is on a disavowed tear through the wild. Heat seeking missiles, a pair of gun turrets, concussive grenades, tear gas. Hydraulic, mechanical legs and arms, a sprinkler system to keep Warpoise's skin moist (his favorite part).

Bear Market
A stock savvy spectacled bear, with unlimited cash flow. Competitors cognizant of the concept of money are wholly under his command. Able to purchase the best in combat gear, via cell phone, delivered cartoonishly via parachuting crates, which he then sports on the field. "Oh, smashing, my surface-to-air missile launcher has arrived. Now which is the shooty end again?"

Overtoad
A self-inflating horned toad, essentially a living grenade, whose core persists once ballooning body releases its pressure via devastating explosion.

Owkward
An average sized Ostrich. It's power... making everything... super... awkward.. "Yeh, we were like, supposed to be fighting... right? I shouldn't have even like... said anything... y'know?"

Murder King
Every wonder why crows are so creepy? It all comes back to Murder (the name for a large grouping of crows, you see what I did there?) King (in that he is the ruler of all crows, the master crow... the moniker has nothing to do with burgers). This craven raven is a pitch black behemoth (900 pounds, 26 foot wingspan), whose feathers detach to become fully-functioning crows, each of which obeys his mental command and flies in formation. His shriek is nightmarish, his talons are sharp. If he runs out of feathers, though, he's flightless, naked, and without minions. AKA Murder King is totally plucked!

Caped Buffalo
On the surface your ordinary cape buffalo. Secretly the last son of a dying world. Possesses the power of flight, invulnerability, sound barrier breaking speed, and super-buffalo strength. Eye lasers and ice breath notsomuch. Also, about as smart as your average buffalo.
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Dr. Ew
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Re: MBDM 2012 - Beast Suggestions [take 2]

Postby Dr. Ew » Sat Feb 11, 2012 8:04 am

Bo! Here I was thinking your forte was the rendering side... many great ones but Slaying Mantis and Murder King rule.

"Also fond of your head, which he plans to eat." is exactly what I needed after this evil work day
"I believe men should be like Kleenex: soft, strong and disposable."

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Re: MBDM 2012 - Beast Suggestions [take 2]

Postby strawman » Sat Feb 11, 2012 4:13 pm

StalinSays wrote:Murder King
If he runs out of feathers though he's flightless, naked, and without minions. AKA Murder King is totally plucked!


Pinionless=Minionless!
I also like Dryena, but you should add that he is cunning, baffling, and powerful.
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Re: MBDM 2012 - Beast Suggestions [take 2]

Postby Mikes » Sun Feb 12, 2012 10:55 am

Christi wrote:WTF!!!!
Can we please get this crap off here??


Just logged on, missed the post, really wondering what was so offensive to set the Beasters off. My imagination can only go so far, people.
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Re: MBDM 2012 - Beast Suggestions [take 2]

Postby ROU Killing Time » Sun Feb 12, 2012 10:20 pm

Mikes wrote:
Christi wrote:WTF!!!!
Can we please get this crap off here??


Just logged on, missed the post, really wondering what was so offensive to set the Beasters off. My imagination can only go so far, people.

Spam for a.soft pedophilia site.
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Sublime In Peace Iain M. Banks.

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Re: MBDM 2012 - Beast Suggestions [take 2]

Postby Mikes » Sun Feb 12, 2012 11:01 pm

And now I feel like a douche for asking.

Bakc on topic, can I vote for Dober-Man-Pincher to be included? Anything that's uber-pinchy gets my vote. Everyone knows that the most pain to be inflicted on a human being is the skin on the back of the arm being pinched. Even childbirth is a bath of pleasently warm water compared to it.
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Christi
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Re: MBDM 2012 - Beast Suggestions [take 2]

Postby Christi » Tue Feb 14, 2012 8:29 pm

Mikes wrote:And now I feel like a douche for asking.

Bakc on topic, can I vote for Dober-Man-Pincher to be included? Anything that's uber-pinchy gets my vote. Everyone knows that the most pain to be inflicted on a human being is the skin on the back of the arm being pinched. Even childbirth is a bath of pleasently warm water compared to it.


you enjoy being pinched Mikes, just admit it.

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Re: MBDM 2012 - Beast Suggestions [take 2]

Postby normsherman » Tue Feb 14, 2012 9:08 pm

My money is on Pirrahnapede. Wouldn't count out Murder King (he'll have it his way) or Dober-Man Pincher (we all love pinches).
"Give us all some Jelly"

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Re: MBDM 2012 - Beast Suggestions [take 2]

Postby ROU Killing Time » Tue Feb 14, 2012 10:21 pm

normsherman wrote:My money is on Pirrahnapede. Wouldn't count out Murder King (he'll have it his way) or Dober-Man Pincher (we all love pinches).

The for reminding me I'm facing another birthday this week. go go pirrahnapede.
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Re: MBDM 2012 - Beast Suggestions [take 2]

Postby Mikes » Tue Feb 14, 2012 10:58 pm

Christi wrote:you enjoy being pinched Mikes, just admit it.


Oh hell no. When the wife 'forgets' how much those back of the arm pinches hurt I think 'Y'know, domestic violence is too heavily punished."*




[*]Michael neither condones nor agrees with domestic violence and would jump at the chance to go round for round with Chris Brown to show him how a real fight goes
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Re: MBDM 2012 - Beast Suggestions [take 2]

Postby Mikes » Wed Feb 15, 2012 1:28 am

Image

Got you shivering, yeah?

No imagine this sucker five times as big and cross bred with a wild hog. That's right, it's Boarnet. Capable of flying at 100kph, with a foot long stinger filled with muscle relaxant, leaving the victim right and ready for its second pass and a four tusk stab.
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Re: MBDM 2012 - Beast Suggestions [take 2]

Postby StalinSays » Wed Feb 15, 2012 1:48 am

Dr. Ew wrote:Bo! Here I was thinking your forte was the rendering side... many great ones but Slaying Mantis and Murder King rule.


Thanks - I'm an endless wellspring for beasts of battle. And yet, I have no idea what to say on a date. Life is funny.

Good suggestions all, keep em coming! We got another week: recruit erstwhile, susceptible friends. Outsiders welcome! Let's pool our imaginations and net the serpents swimming the depths of our collective unconscious!

Oh, and don't forget to lend your nominations for the people's choice awards. That's up today.
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Re: MBDM 2012 - Beast Suggestions [take 2]

Postby Mikes » Wed Feb 15, 2012 2:13 am

How about an Aurochs? Nothing mythical about them. They were massive cattle inhabiting Europe and Asia, and were hunted to extinction in the 17th century.

The bulls grew to 6 feet, had massive hrosn, and were feared enough that Julius Ceaser passed a law thta no cattle were allowed witn 5 miles of Rome for fear an Aurochs would reach the city and kill dozens before it could be stopped.
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Re: MBDM 2012 - Beast Suggestions [take 2]

Postby tbaker2500 » Wed Feb 15, 2012 2:14 am

Sorry I've been gone from the forums for a bit, but I just got loose and sent the captors in the wrong direction.
Re: Spam- We were having a board-wide wave of spam again, so I replaced the preventative measures again. When a new member to posts, they first post has to be approved by a moderator before it appears. After that it's free game. So if a spammer wants to properly contribute a mega-beast, he'll get approved. :-)

Hmm... Hare. How about a Receding Hare Line? A master of optical illusion, the Hare appears to be running away. But instead he's actually charging right towards you. Bites at the neck, decapitating opponents. Armor and swords do no good against him, but he is vulnerable to holy hand grenades.
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Re: MBDM 2012 - Beast Suggestions [take 2]

Postby Dr. Ew » Thu Feb 16, 2012 6:01 pm

The wood sprite had four of a kind. She was pretty happy with her sevens but she wished they had been playing strip poker with her enchanted deck.
The devious lynx leaned forward with a smile. Looking over his royal flush, he asked her, "Do you want to make this really interesting?"

1 crazy night and 70 days later, after 48 hours of excruciating labour came Jynx de Lynx

This Lynx-sprite Goddess can call on nature to do her biding. You don't want to be in a forest when she's tracking you down. When there's no wood to call to is when the savage beast shows its face. More often than not, that's the last face you'll ever see.
"I believe men should be like Kleenex: soft, strong and disposable."

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Re: MBDM 2012 - Beast Suggestions [take 2]

Postby pbrozenich » Mon Feb 20, 2012 9:06 am

Ok, here's my suggestion. I present to you the following:

The Chalupacabra

An unfathomable melding of the mythical Mexican beast The Chupacabra, and the melt-a-licious Mexican feast, the Chalupa. The Chalupacabra is a quick, alien-like beast complete with sharp claws, segmented eyes, and blood sucking tongue. It's covered all over in a puffy, fried skin with an exquisite doughy texture. Spines sprout from its back, which opens wide to erupt a fountain of irresistible seasoned meat.

Opponents are unable to resist the temptation. Unfortunately for hungry competitors, the meat is tainted, leading to severe intestinal distress and eventual death. Those not done in by the crippling stomach cramps will quickly fall victim to the Chalupacabra's cagey and quick alien fighting moves and it's ability to think outside the bun. Is it a secret government experiment? An alien visitor from beyond the stars? It's blood hotter than the hottest fire sauce, the Chalupacabra is ready to take on all challengers. :mrgreen:

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Algernon Sydney is Dead
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Re: MBDM 2012 - Beast Suggestions [take 2]

Postby Algernon Sydney is Dead » Mon Feb 20, 2012 9:31 am

Excellent suggestion!

Of course the Chalupacabra is mortally wounded by sour cream, which exposes it to lethal, derisive mocking by food purists and macho types.

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Re: MBDM 2012 - Beast Suggestions [take 2]

Postby strawman » Mon Feb 20, 2012 4:27 pm

Brilliant!

And welcome, [botname] (seriously now, is pbrozenich just a transliteration from the Chinese chartacters? I thought Zappa was ridiculous for Moon Unit, but here you get a chance to name yourself whatever you want, and you choose pbrozenich. At least Zappa didn't do that!)

ASID, as a whole, and I'm not implying any particular type of whole here, is very fast with his antidotes. But I think that here he gives sour cream a bit too much credit, undoubtedly the result of that traumatic childhood sour cream incident. It does not counter the powers of chalupacabre, but ENHANCES them, in the same way that a mink suicide vest would - by the time you realize he's not just a chalupa, he's already gnawing away at your defenseless gut, flushing nasty bits down the tube.

O, the humanity!
Never judge anyone until you have biopsied their brain.

"Be kind, for everyone is fighting a hard battle."
Known Some Call Is Air Am
Spoiler:
Non sum qualis eram = "I am not who I will be"

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Re: MBDM 2012 - Beast Suggestions [take 2]

Postby StalinSays » Mon Feb 20, 2012 7:10 pm

strawman wrote:(seriously now, is pbrozenich just a transliteration from the Chinese chartacters? I thought Zappa was ridiculous for Moon Unit, but here you get a chance to name yourself whatever you want, and you choose pbrozenich. At least Zappa didn't do that!)


Could always be first initial followed by last name. Brozenich sounds more German than it does Chinese, to me. Welcome to the forums P!

Chalupacabra will be an excellent addition to the ranks! A super gross drawing is a guarantee!

News tid bit: I have to delay the debut of the next 5 beasts - my PC's harddrive hard-died. I had it replaced, and now I'm waiting for Lenovo to mail me a new boot disk. Hopefully MBDM will continue Saturday. We'll see. I have pencils, but I need my home set-up to bring them to y'all in stunning color.
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