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MBDM 2012 - Heat 10

Posted: Thu Mar 08, 2012 10:30 pm
by StalinSays
WINNER: Barracade (by 1 vote)

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Vote for your favorite! Round 10 finishes Wednesday March 14th and Midnight Eastern. For a much larger image of the competitors, click here

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Beast 1:
Tiger-Shark
Nature: Tiger, Shark
Size: 5'2" (tall) 14' (Long)
Weight: 1.5 tons
Not the standard issue fish. Much, much worse. Half tiger-tiger, half tiger shark - a pure hybrid with the combined offensive threat of both beasts. 1.5 tons, 14 feet long, terrestrial. Moves with the speed of a shark through water. Rows of replaceable fangs and claws. Sharp scales make direct contact with Tiger-Shark akin to direct contact with a cheese-grater. Can determine the location of enemies via a unique electric sense organ below ears. Can smell blood from miles away. Must move to breathe.

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Beast 2:
Chalupacabra
Nature: Chupacabra
Size: 4'2" (Tall) 6' (long)
Weight: 600 lbs
An unfathomable melding of the mythical Mexican beast The Chupacabra, and the melt-a-licious Mexican feast, the Chalupa. The Chalupacabra is a quick, alien-like beast complete with sharp claws, segmented eyes, and blood sucking tongue. It's covered all over in a puffy, fried skin with an exquisite doughy texture. Spines sprout from its back, which opens wide to erupt a fountain of irresistible seasoned meat. Opponents are unable to resist their temptation to devour the Chalupacabra. Unfortunately for them, the meat is tainted, leading to severe intestinal distress and eventual death. Those not done in by the crippling stomach cramps will quickly fall victim to the Chalupacabra's cagey alien fighting moves and it's ability to think outside the bun. Is it a secret government experiment? An alien visitor from beyond the stars? The Chalupacabra is ready to take on all challengers!

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Beast 3:
Dober-Man-Pincher
Nature: Dog, Man, Crab
Size: 6'8" (Tall)
Weight: 500 lbs
Trying to cure his degenerative ectrodactyly claw hands, zee good doktor tried some radical new genetic splicing techniques, only to realize a stray hair or two from his lab's guard dog had gotten into the mix.... and when the smoke cleared... The Dober-Man-Pincher. Super intelligent- very aggressive - uber pinchy.

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Beast 4:
Barracade
Nature: Pangolin (scaly anteater), Barracuda
Size: 4' (Tall) 8' (Long)
Weight: 2.5 tons
Steel scales create an impregnable body surface. Sharp, steel teeth. Can breathe underwater or on land. Hunger is insatiable, will rip and tear for the thrill. Voracious, opportunistic, capable of bursts of speed.

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Beast 5:
Pirahnapede
Nature: Piranha, Centipede
Size: 10' (Long) 3' (Tall)
Weight: 1 ton
10 feet of segmented multi-mouthed razor maws.Tail deals paralyzing stings. If it rolls over you, nothing will be left.

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Re: MBDM 2012 - Round 10

Posted: Fri Mar 09, 2012 9:50 am
by Christi
What cruel turn of fate put the perpetually hungry Barracade in the same heat as the delicious looking Chalupacabra?!!!???
He could take on any other beast in this round. He’s armored, he’s fast, he’s aggressive and he has a really cool name, alas I fear he has little chance against the doughy temptation of Mexico!!
Damnit another of my favorites foiled!!!
:cry:

Re: MBDM 2012 - Round 10

Posted: Fri Mar 09, 2012 5:02 pm
by strawman
Yes, I fear the same fate for what I initially thought was a sure thing, my beloved Pirahnapede. But when my little red riding hood gazed into his maw and said, "Grandmaw, what innumerable teeth you have", I knew that Chalupacabra would have the answer: "All the better to make you wish you had died on that toilet with."

Chalupacabra is, bottom line, the ultimate Trojan.
And it's got a blood sucking TONGUE? Seriously? A tongue that sucks?

Re: MBDM 2012 - Round 10

Posted: Fri Mar 09, 2012 6:01 pm
by admiralsunshine
My girlfriend is sitting here trying to tell me that the Pirahnapede would beat the Chalupacabra. The Priahnapede is merely 10 feet of mouths to eat the tainted meat and get sick all the faster. Fool.

Re: MBDM 2012 - Round 10

Posted: Fri Mar 09, 2012 6:50 pm
by ROU Killing Time
admiralsunshine wrote:My girlfriend is sitting here trying to tell me that the Pirahnapede would beat the Chalupacabra. The Priahnapede is merely 10 feet of mouths to eat the tainted meat and get sick all the faster. Fool.
Your girlfriend needs to get her own account and vote. PP FTW.

Re: MBDM 2012 - Round 10

Posted: Fri Mar 09, 2012 7:21 pm
by strawman
ROU an PP and Admiralsunshine's GF. All Portland seems star-crossed to suffer together.

Re: MBDM 2012 - Round 10

Posted: Fri Mar 09, 2012 10:41 pm
by StalinSays
If mega-beasts has taught me one lesson, it is this: no one likes sharks with feet. Sharkitraz was a dud 2 years ago, his spiritual successor, Tiger-Shark is a dud today. They always seem awesome in my head.

Yes, putting the ravenous Pangolin, Tiger-Shark, and Pirahnapede in the same heat as the monster made of meat was a mean trick. Fear not - one needs only to think of things holistically. Remember, it is 5 fighting at the same time. Can Chupa handle that kind of feeding frenzy?

Also, people are ignoring the Pincher's smarts. He is the only one with higher brain functions complex enough to piece together 'eating chalupa is bad.'

Lastly, ROU, if you root against Chalupacabra, isn't that in its way like rooting against the Blazers winning?

Re: MBDM 2012 - Round 10

Posted: Sat Mar 10, 2012 6:01 am
by MingoZK
Hi there! I'm new to the MBDM, but I know that if I don't vote for Chalupacabra right now, I will never be able to live with myself. I think he's got what it takes to win against even the Pirahnapede! If the Chalupacabra surrounds Pirahnapede with his delicious, tainted meat, then Pirahnapede's probably going to consume some of it if he wants to keep moving, ensuring Pirahnapedal intestinal distress. If he doesn't keep moving, then the others could take him. Or Chalupacabra could cover the others in tainted meat and let Pirahnapede eat them, also ensuring intestinal distress. Go Chalupacabra!

Re: MBDM 2012 - Round 10

Posted: Sat Mar 10, 2012 11:02 am
by ROU Killing Time
StalinSays wrote: Lastly, ROU, if you root against Chalupacabra, isn't that in its way like rooting against the Blazers winning?
One hardly needs to do that, does one, and you could look at it as Pirahnapede shooting the 100th basket and serving up Chalupacabra for all the happy spectators.

In any event this is one of those touchy situations, (much like when the Canadian Women's hockey team met the U.S. team in the finals. Do I root for the home team, or do I root for family.

Pirahnapede is like that amphibio-insectoid son I never had.

Re: MBDM 2012 - Round 10

Posted: Sun Mar 11, 2012 3:48 am
by admiralsunshine
I got to thinking; if Pirahnapede managed to sting Chalupacabra with its paralyzing tail before the cramps hit, it might immobilize Chalupacabra long enough for Pirahnapede to get through the cramps. Of course, that would just lead to them both dying at the hands of the others, unless they all immediately went for Chalupacabra's tainted meat. Big "if's" though.

Re: MBDM 2012 - Round 10

Posted: Sun Mar 11, 2012 5:40 am
by StalinSays
We're all about the big if's here. Go big if or go home. The devil is in the intangibles.

When you think about the anatomy of the Chulupacabra, the actual guts, the essence of the beast is in the 'shell.' If something is hulking enough to take a big ole' lateral bite of the chalupa, not a top down nibble, well, they're putting a big hurt on its chances.

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Re: MBDM 2012 - Round 10

Posted: Sun Mar 11, 2012 4:55 pm
by admiralsunshine
Good points, and that diagram was certainly helpful

Re: MBDM 2012 - Round 10

Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2012 2:36 pm
by Christi
StalinSays wrote:If mega-beasts has taught me one lesson, it is this: no one likes sharks with feet. Sharkitraz was a dud 2 years ago, his spiritual successor, Tiger-Shark is a dud today. They always seem awesome in my head.
Sharks on legs are a terrifying concept! The thing is, in relation to a mutated centipede, it just not that horrific.

Re: MBDM 2012 - Round 10

Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2012 2:40 pm
by Christi
After some serious obsessing, I have come up the following scenario:
TigerShark will smell Chalupacabre first, thanks to his keen sense of smell, his super fast too so he will get to Chalupacabre first. He will take a devastating bite (we’ve all seen a shark bite), it doesn’t matter from which end, the Mexican delight won’t be able to attack with half his limbs missing, or its meaty entrails spilling from its doughy exterior. Sharks eat anything, they have been for eons, he may be weakened by the toxicity of the seasoned meat, which will leave him vulnerable to the other contenders.
That said, it has to be Barracade:
Piranapede’s teeth will be rendered useless, Barracades scales are impenetrable!! You can’t pinch it, if you can’t bite it so Dober Man Pincher just won’t score there. Tiger shark is already ailing from destroying Chalupacabra!!!
Barracade WINS!!!!!!

Re: MBDM 2012 - Round 10

Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2012 3:04 pm
by admiralsunshine
Christi wrote:After some serious obsessing, I have come up the following scenario:
TigerShark will smell Chalupacabre first, thanks to his keen sense of smell, his super fast too so he will get to Chalupacabre first. He will take a devastating bite (we’ve all seen a shark bite), it doesn’t matter from which end, the Mexican delight won’t be able to attack with half his limbs missing, or its meaty entrails spilling from its doughy exterior. Sharks eat anything, they have been for eons, he may be weakened by the toxicity of the seasoned meat, which will leave him vulnerable to the other contenders.
That said, it has to be Barracade:
Piranapede’s teeth will be rendered useless, Barracades scales are impenetrable!! You can’t pinch it, if you can’t bite it so Dober Man Pincher just won’t score there. Tiger shark is already ailing from destroying Chalupacabra!!!
Barracade WINS!!!!!!
Due to Barracade's insatiable hunger, would he go for what's left of Chalupacabra at some point in the fight, rendering him useless as well?

Re: MBDM 2012 - Round 10

Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2012 3:14 pm
by strawman
What about battlefield environmental contamination from chalupacabra's bacteria-infested entrails? TigerShark will be barfing them wherever he goes. Mosquitoes, maggots, bot-flies, groundwater contamination. As any military man can confirm, dysentery completely immobilizes armies.

War of the Worlds: Never Forget.

Re: MBDM 2012 - Round 10

Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2012 3:31 pm
by Christi
admiralsunshine wrote:
Christi wrote:After some serious obsessing, I have come up the following scenario:
TigerShark will smell Chalupacabre first, thanks to his keen sense of smell, his super fast too so he will get to Chalupacabre first. He will take a devastating bite (we’ve all seen a shark bite), it doesn’t matter from which end, the Mexican delight won’t be able to attack with half his limbs missing, or its meaty entrails spilling from its doughy exterior. Sharks eat anything, they have been for eons, he may be weakened by the toxicity of the seasoned meat, which will leave him vulnerable to the other contenders.
That said, it has to be Barracade:
Piranapede’s teeth will be rendered useless, Barracades scales are impenetrable!! You can’t pinch it, if you can’t bite it so Dober Man Pincher just won’t score there. Tiger shark is already ailing from destroying Chalupacabra!!!
Barracade WINS!!!!!!
Due to Barracade's insatiable hunger, would he go for what's left of Chalupacabra at some point in the fight, rendering him useless as well?
Nah Man!! It only eats live prey (what? That’s not in the specs?? That was just an oversight…he doesn’t eat dead meat. Okay!!)

Re: MBDM 2012 - Round 10

Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2012 3:37 pm
by Christi
strawman wrote:What about battlefield environmental contamination from chalupacabra's bacteria-infested entrails? TigerShark will be barfing them wherever he goes. Mosquitoes, maggots, bot-flies, groundwater contamination. As any military man can confirm, dysentery completely immobilizes armies.

War of the Worlds: Never Forget.
Oh Most Revered Man of Straw, you have made a good point there!
Fortunately, Barracade can curl up into a protective ball and evade all the pollution and infestation.
Mosquitoes? Phfft! They cant bite through his scales!

War is a terrible thing...even for the winner, but this is not a war, its a death match!!! :twisted:

Re: MBDM 2012 - Round 10

Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2012 4:14 pm
by admiralsunshine
strawman wrote:As any military man can confirm, dysentery completely immobilizes armies.
I can vouch for the validity of that statement, being an admiral and all.

Re: MBDM 2012 - Round 10

Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2012 4:17 pm
by admiralsunshine
Christi wrote: Nah Man!! It only eats live prey (what? That’s not in the specs?? That was just an oversight…he doesn’t eat dead meat. Okay!!)
Oh, my mistake. My apologies to Norm's favorite sister!