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This is Major Tom to Space Cat Control...

Posted: Thu May 01, 2014 5:57 am
by secretnude
I called for help via my Space Cat
Communicator but my Space Cat
companions in this Babyship
seemed to be unable to respond
so I tried to contact the GalactiCat.

The Battleship
GalactiCat
couldn't respond
since the Baby Bioship
skin
that
I am trapped within
does absorb radio.

I do know
that a Bioship
does normally relay
internal
to external
Ship
communications with a slight
delay
but this Bioship
might
be 'Brain dead'
and I might soon be dead.

Stark
and dark
thoughts flooded my head
since I am trapped in the head
of a Babyship
that's no longer hip.

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The Theoretical and Practical Comedy University

Posted: Thu May 01, 2014 6:47 am
by secretnude
I was about to graduate from High School
and I decided to apply to a School
that called itself 'The Theoretical
and Practical
Comedy University'
that offered Degrees
like a PHD in Satire
that a Literature Major might desire.

I learned
that I had to earn
a place in this Comedy University
that some joked
is a Joke University
by attracting the attention
of a 'Selection
Committee' in a strange Comedy Club
that I love.

I think I could be the next Marc Maron
or Johnny Carson
if I can get my Comedy game on
and push the right buttons.

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My sad is very bad for an undiagnosed guy

Posted: Thu May 01, 2014 7:33 am
by secretnude
Major Depression: Very High
Dysthymia: Moderate
Bipolar Disorder: Very High
Cyclothymia: High
Seasonal Affective Disorder: High
Postpartum Depression: N/A
http://www.depressedtest.com/

Your University is a Joke

Posted: Thu May 01, 2014 8:28 am
by secretnude
I had to face the adversity
of a University
sponsored stand up Comedy Night
In applying to the Comedy University
under glaring
lights
with many of my 'friends' staring
at me with amusement
at my dubious achievements.

I made some people laugh
and that was quite enough
to achieve
admission to the 'Joke University'
that people like to poke
fun.

I will soon
have fun
and my day under the sun
will soon
come
as I overcome
the ridicule of my friends
which seem to never end
that does make me depend
on my 'Happy Pills'
that make me ill.

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Wear this uniform to Comedy Night or be nude

Posted: Thu May 01, 2014 8:57 am
by secretnude
It was hard to select the right discipline
in this Academic Comedic Institution
since I lack the discipline
and the mental constitution
to stick to an Academic Program
that was preprogrammed.

I do feel that this Comedic Institution
is run by people that escaped
from a Mental Institution
but at least I escaped
the trap of a student loan
that many of my friends now own.

The Tuition fee
isn't free
in this Academic Comedic University
but I do have to wear a uniform
while I perform
at Comedy Nights that I was informed
does partly subsidize my Tuition fees.

A Joke Degree that isn't content free

Posted: Thu May 01, 2014 9:40 am
by secretnude
The Comedy
University
Uniform that I had to wear
I swear
is full of Corporate
Logos which I hate!

However, at least it is great
when you can bring in a Helmet prop
and a Formula One backdrop
and joke that you are actually a 'Shoe maker'
who is also a risk taker.

I do think that New Media Studies
like Podcasting
is the thing
to study
since this Degree
in Theoretical and Applied Comedy
isn't totally content free.

There is a lot of Physics
and Biomechanics
in Practical Jokes
and the Legal Ramifications of Jokes
has to be poked.

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The Happy Virus is God's second coming

Posted: Thu May 01, 2014 11:36 am
by secretnude
I heard
these strange words
from a Happy Zombie Prayer Meeting
with Human Eating.

'We are happy
and naked like Adam and Eve!

We believe
that this Happy Virus has restored
us to a state
that Humanity had before
since we are happy
and carefree.

We believe that this is the 'Happy State'
before the 'Fall from Grace'
that Adam and Eve faced
once the Forbidden Fruit
took root.

The Happy Virus is God's
second coming
that's choosing
those that belong to God's
fold
and those that must fold
to the will of God
when we eat their Brain folds.'

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Happy Zombies viewtopic.php?f=70&t=5327&start=1240#p48229

Zombie Cult of Happiness viewtopic.php?f=70&t=5327&p=48309#p48309

The Happy Chosen People of God

Posted: Thu May 01, 2014 1:27 pm
by secretnude
'GAGATC' means 'God
Accepts Glad Adherents to Communion
and that is one of many revelations
to the Happy Adherents
of God's Word
spelled in the Happy Virus Genome.

The Genome
is God's Word
made flesh
and if your flesh
accepts God' Word
you are among the Happy Chosen
People of God!

You
are Happy
because God Chose
you
and God Loves
you!

The unhappy
are possessed by Demonic Forces
that we must destroy by Force
by forcing
open their skulls and redeeming
their souls
by eating
their Brains.

Redeem
the soul
of this being
by partaking
of his fresh
flesh!

The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak

Posted: Thu May 01, 2014 1:46 pm
by secretnude
I know of people that 'fake'
happiness and take
Communion.

I'm possessed by Demons.
and my Demons
haunt me without my Happy Pills
that make me ill.

However, the Happy Pills
protects me
from being eaten by Happy Zombies.

I choose to remain in this Happy Community
and take Communion with the Happy Zombies.

I have heard of the maltreatment
of those undergoing Happy Virus treatment
in the Sad
Planetary Capital City which is quite bad.

I would be happy
to be converted to a Happy Zombie
and God must hate me
for not turning me
into a Happy Zombie.

### Links ###
Happy Virus Treatment viewtopic.php?f=70&t=5327&start=1320#p48351

In Science, I trust

Posted: Thu May 01, 2014 2:17 pm
by secretnude
I'm a Biochemist and I own a Pharmacy
that's quite far from the Planetary
Capital City.

I have a molecular synthesis
and stasis
unit which means that I can brew
then preserve customized drugs
for me and my crew.

I manufacture and sell
illegal drugs.

I belong to hell.

I don't deserve
to be happy.

I don't deserve
to become a Happy Zombie.

God's decisions are just
and rot in hell,
I must.

However, in Science
I trust
and I'm using Science
to fit in
and win
since to buckle the trend
would mean the gory
end
to my story.

Manage to be part time Happy Zombies.

Posted: Thu May 01, 2014 3:05 pm
by secretnude
strawman wrote:Some interesting directions here.
May I suggest the best antidote to the Happiness virus is Practical Jokes.
Although, why on earth are they called "practical"? Did they come from some "Helpful Hints"?
There is possibly
no cure for a Happy Virus
victim since Happiness
is like a drug in the way Happiness
disrupts the Brain
and it would drain
ones willpower
to opt to be not happy.

Manage
would be a better
word than cure
for sure
since one can manage
incurable addictions
and medical conditions.

This Happy
Zombie
Planet might be forever
under quarantine
and never
ever
come clean
which means
an open storyline that has no end game
that I could name.

Happy Zombie
Anonymous might be
a good idea if the Zombies
could manage to be
part time Zombies.

[Br]eaking [La]bs

Posted: Fri May 02, 2014 1:23 am
by secretnude
I was once a respected Professor
at Demeter's Capital City
until the City
found out
that this Professor
was giving Experimental
Mental
Enhancers to his students without
oversight of the University's
IRB.

I broke
into my Labs
as a scandal broke
via the Planetary neonet to grab
the University's
Molecular Synthesis
and Stasis Units.

I reprogrammed the Drone Units
patrolling the Laboratory
to erase
my face
after the my heinous act
and during the act,
the Drone Units
didn't react
as my face
was well regarded
and well respected
even by Drone Units
even as I stole Laboratory
Equipment Units.

[H]appy [P]ills

Posted: Fri May 02, 2014 3:05 am
by secretnude
I turned to a life of crime
in my spare time
to support
a family that I'm sad to report
is quite unsupportive
of my struggles with depression
that I held in repression
with my Happy Pills
that make me ill.

The Happy Pills
were my own designer drug
that found a niche market
in the Demeter's Black Market
since Drug Tests
don't screen for my Pills
even if it makes you slightly ill.

I had been Drug Tested
at the University and I was never
ever
caught
with the Happy Pills
that I wrought
that some students even bought.

Re: Secretnude's Drabble Poetry Corner

Posted: Fri May 02, 2014 10:12 am
by strawman
So...it's not REALLY Hewlitt-Packard? :shock:

[B]ad [P]rofessor

Posted: Fri May 02, 2014 11:50 am
by secretnude
The Molecular Synthesis Unit
is a wonder of Chemistry
since the Unit
can Chemically
bind
any set of Atoms that
you can bind
with catalysts and heat
that's needed to defeat binding
and breaking
energies
with efficiency.

I have no deficiency
of the atomic species that I
require to make
the Happy Pills
that I
and many other people
take.

The Happy Pill
craze will pass
but as long as it would last
I will milk it for all it's worth
since in a Zombie Apocalypse people
get hurt
and I can hurt
people
that say,
get in my way.

[Ta]ke [O]ne

Posted: Fri May 02, 2014 11:55 am
by secretnude
I had a former PHD candidate
as an assistant
that I do hate
to have
to admit
to ruining his life
but at least my assistant
doesn't have a wife.

You do see,
he introduced me
to the niche designer drug market
on this Planet
that we did get
to corner with our Happy Pills
that could make you ill.

Happy Pills
could make you ill
in large dosages
and it is quite sage
to try
to limit your use
as the drug you do abuse.

If you want a sample pill,
I will
invite you to try at will.

[H]appy [Na]ked

Posted: Fri May 02, 2014 11:58 am
by secretnude
This Happy Zombie Epidemic
that's out of control,
I might be able to control
with my Biochemical skills
that do kill.

However, why do the right thing
if the Virus does bring
happiness and joy
to almost every girl and boy?

I understand
that I do stand
to get very rich
as I scratch the itch
of the depressive guys
that don't want
to die
and do want
to be happy
and Commune
with the Happy Zombies.

We depressives are immune
to Happy Zombie
Conversion
and hence appearing Hypersexual
is actually
a good diversion
to cause some Happy Zombie
confusion.

[Be] [H]appy

Posted: Fri May 02, 2014 12:00 pm
by secretnude
I can customise a Happy Pill
for you at will
but you will
have to pay
extra which would be, I say
twice the normal Happy Pill
but I guarantee
that you will indeed be
very happy.

Please try
then buy
the Extra Happy Pill
that will cost you extra
but the extra cost
isn't a loss
since it might
just save your life
or your wife's life.

If your normal high
does die
you might indeed die
as the Happy Zombies
would kill
those that they think are ill
due to Mental Demons
in their strange Happy Zombie Communions.

[O]pportunity [K]nocks

Posted: Fri May 02, 2014 12:02 pm
by secretnude
I see
that you aren't a Happy
Zombie.

When the Antidepressants
in your pants
do run out,
you have to buy Happy Pills
from me without
a doubt.

My Happy Pills
has kept me and my assistant
alive and when not in a Happy
Zombie
gathering we do wear pants
just like you.

We do
try to keep
our modesty
and sanity
in this Planet that is in deep
trouble
and we do
try to keep
out of trouble.

We see
a terrific Happy Pill
Multilevel Marketing Opportunity
in this Happy Zombie
Apocalypse so sell
Happy Pills
and be well.

### Story Choices ###
a. Don't buy Happy Pills. viewtopic.php?f=70&t=5327&p=48448#p48448

b. Buy a supply of Happy Pills for you
and your non Happy Zombie Family. viewtopic.php?f=70&t=5327&p=48470#p48470

c. Be a distributor of Happy Pills. viewtopic.php?f=70&t=5327&p=48471#p48471

My flexible Space Cat Spine will hopefully be still fine...

Posted: Sat May 03, 2014 2:56 am
by secretnude
I wasn't cool
to using tools
to hurt a Babyship
that I had to fix but this Babyship
wasn't responding
to my Bioship
Diagnostic Tools.

I'm now cool
to using my cutting
tools
to cut a hole
in this Bioship
as my role
is no longer a Vet
to this Bioship,
I
bet.

I
cut a hole that
was just big
enough for a big
Cat
to squeeze
through and then I
let the air pressure
equalize for sure.

I
squeezed
myself without my Spacesuit
that
doesn't suit
the motions that
we Cats
can do with our fine
flexible spine.

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