Opposite of the narrative or expository voice?

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Chairman Goodchild
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Joined: Mon Aug 25, 2014 2:01 pm

Opposite of the narrative or expository voice?

Post by Chairman Goodchild » Thu Oct 30, 2014 10:22 am

I'm missing a word from my vocabulary. It's a bit embarrassing, and I've looked for it, but I can't find it anywhere.

For example, here's a story fragment told in an expository voice.

Tommy's frustration and anger washed over him as he climbed the stairs onto the roof. He greeted his friend Mark, and told him about his troubles. Mark responded with sympathy, and the two began to play football as they discussed their problems.

And then there's this approach:

Tommy drained the last of his water bottle as he climbed the last steps in the stairwell, and out onto the roof.
"I did not hit her! It's not true! It's bullshit! I did not hit her! I did not!" Angered by his own ruminations, he punctuated his last statement by bouncing his water bottle against the rooftop. Glancing up again, he spotted his friend sitting in one of a pair of plastic lawn chairs.
"Oh, hi Mark!" Tommy beamed.

Now, I know what's going on in that pair of passages, but I can't articulate it well. I know the first passage is expository, which is really the kiss of death when writing fiction, and should be avoided whenever possible, and used sparingly when not possible. A bit like having the opening screen crawl to Star Wars describe all of the action up to blowing up the Death Star, then cutting to end credits.

How would I describe the more active phrasing of the second passage? Like I said, I've looked for the words to describe the difference, but I'm not having much luck finding them.

Posts: 315
Joined: Fri Jul 18, 2014 3:08 pm
Location: Tyneside, UK

Re: Opposite of the narrative or expository voice?

Post by SpareInch » Thu Oct 30, 2014 12:52 pm

Hmmm... Good question...


Whatever the answer, hope you don't loose too much sleep over it. ;)
The truth may be out there, but lies are inside your head.

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