Cougar at the Con - Lyrics

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normsherman
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Cougar at the Con - Lyrics

Postby normsherman » Tue Aug 26, 2008 4:01 am

It ain’t no walk in the park livin your life on the road
In a rock and roll band on the way to your next show
I was getting kinda lonely and things were getting kinda dry
Without a woman to hold me I didn’t feel so alive

And then the manager told me that we were lost in Atlanta
We had a change in our schedule and a change in our plans and a
Gig had come up at a science fiction convention
and we were signed up to play- oh did I forget to mention

That there’s a cougar at the con
With hardly any costume on
I think it’s wonder woman’s mom
But she’s got it goin on
Yah there’s a cougar at the con

I couldn’t help but sulk as our tour bus pulled up
I figured the only girls I’d see would look like Jabba the Hut
Dirty Nerdy poonanie comin at me like a tsunami
I’d have to beat those skanks away from my rock star salami

Then we started to play and I heard my bass player say
Damn, that girl is so smoking she needs an ash tray
I looked to my left, and what did I see
A curvy con cougar in heat

Ya there’s a cougar at the con
I think she’s wearin Xena’s thong
She wants to party all night long
Till the break of dawn
Yah there’s a cougar at the con


She was on the prowl she was stalkin her prey
She was looking the part, with all her parts on display
she don't waste no time, she don't take things slow
she’s as quick as cheetarah, now that's a thundercats "hoooo!"

Solo

A nerd's heard sayin "that ass is leet"
a wookie's knocked clear off his furry feet
a storm trooper asked if she would like to dance
she said “Palpatine’s bitchez don’t get in pants!”

Then she looked at me and said “ So, you think your hot shit-
With your longhair and makeup- you just came dressed up as a chick?
Well that’s not very creative and you’re no better than us
Now if you’ll excuse me, Kevin Sorbo said he’d sign my bust.

Yah there’s a cougar at the con
With hardly any costume on
I think it’s wonder woman’s mom
And she’s got it goin on
Yah there’s a cougar at the con

That there’s a cougar at the con
I think she’s wearin Xena’s thong
She wants to party all night long
So everybody cmon
Yah there’s a cougar at the con
"Give us all some Jelly"

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TheJebi
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Re: Cougar at the Con

Postby TheJebi » Mon Nov 30, 2009 12:51 am

Hmmm, I really need to start going cons, especially since I finally freed myself of the old gf, sounds fun...
“I’m not TheJebi because I like the hum of a lightsaber in my hand… and I’m not TheJebi because I like being TheJebi. I’m TheJebi because the Galaxy needs me to be TheJebi.”

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F5iver
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Re: Cougar at the Con

Postby F5iver » Mon Nov 30, 2009 1:15 am

Well, that means I can never dress as 'Mrs. Dr. Girlfriend The Monarch' and go to a Con after all.

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strawman
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Re: Cougar at the Con

Postby strawman » Mon Nov 30, 2009 1:34 am

Remember, Tweedy's making a movie out of you at the next one. So not only do you have to dress up, but you gotta SELL it.
Never judge anyone until you have biopsied their brain.

"Be kind, for everyone is fighting a hard battle."
Known Some Call Is Air Am
Spoiler:
Non sum qualis eram = "I am not who I will be"

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F5iver
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Re: Cougar at the Con

Postby F5iver » Wed Dec 02, 2009 4:00 am

Not so young that I’m a fool
But not so old to lose my cool
I’m a cosplay bunny and I know the rule
I’m a cougar on the prowl tonight.

Got my wig jigged out And my high boots on
And I’m scoping for a Johnny At the Scifi Con
Looking for a young hottie whose into digital pron
I’m a cougar on the prowl tonight.

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strawman
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Re: Cougar at the Con

Postby strawman » Wed Dec 02, 2009 4:19 am

F5iver wrote:Looking for a young hottie whose into digital pron

The meter fails here.
Plus, I think it's spelled 'prawn'.
Never judge anyone until you have biopsied their brain.

"Be kind, for everyone is fighting a hard battle."
Known Some Call Is Air Am
Spoiler:
Non sum qualis eram = "I am not who I will be"

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F5iver
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Re: Cougar at the Con

Postby F5iver » Wed Dec 02, 2009 5:29 am

strawman wrote:
F5iver wrote:Looking for a young hottie whose into digital pron

The meter fails here.
Plus, I think it's spelled 'prawn'.


Looking for a young hottie into digital pron

I think 'pron' is correct.

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strawman
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Re: Cougar at the Con

Postby strawman » Wed Dec 02, 2009 12:36 pm

Well okay, you're the teacher. I still can't help but picture a little shrimp with lots of wiggly digits.
But then I'm left to wonder why you'd go to a convention for the seafood.
Never judge anyone until you have biopsied their brain.

"Be kind, for everyone is fighting a hard battle."
Known Some Call Is Air Am
Spoiler:
Non sum qualis eram = "I am not who I will be"

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F5iver
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Re: Cougar at the Con

Postby F5iver » Wed Dec 02, 2009 1:33 pm

strawman wrote:Well okay, you're the teacher. I still can't help but picture a little shrimp with lots of wiggly digits.
But then I'm left to wonder why you'd go to a convention for the seafood.

Oh that's making me feel like I know too much. Not shrimp...
Maybe I should have spelled it "Pr0n". I think I'll go hide now.

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strawman
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Re: Cougar at the Con

Postby strawman » Wed Dec 02, 2009 3:46 pm

Is there a name for intentional misunderstanding?

Wait a sec...
Prawn - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
This article is about the crustacean. For the giant South African cricket, see Parktown prawn. For the science-fiction aliens, see District 9. ...
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prawn - Cached - Similar -

Okay, F5iver, we're good to go!
Never judge anyone until you have biopsied their brain.

"Be kind, for everyone is fighting a hard battle."
Known Some Call Is Air Am
Spoiler:
Non sum qualis eram = "I am not who I will be"

ChicagoMike
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Re: Cougar at the Con

Postby ChicagoMike » Wed Mar 10, 2010 4:24 am

Not my most favorite Bardle ever, but I have to say I don't think there's anyone besides Norm who could rhyme "poonanie", "tsunami", and "salami".


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