MB4 R3 - UDC vs. War Mer'chine vs. Mongoose vs. F Narwhal

[tbaker2500]

Does anyone here have an affinity for friendly narwhal?

[adam]

people...

this atrocity has brought me back from forum-death to speak out against this mess. who is behind this narwhal nonsense? the fake-bloody cagesport of beasts that dont actually exist but are imbued with special skills pitted against each other in hypothetical combat to the death for the sake of arbitrary argument is not a joke people. it's serious. seriously stupid. but not to be disrespected. and this is simply blasphemy. he's just a flippin narwhal! this is a deathmatch people. lets not get side-tracked with cuteness.
but really you guys already know how much more awesome mongoose is, so i dont know who i'm typing at right now. i think it's some competing podcast who's turned its listener base in to sabatoge our junk and make it all less appealing.
now if you'll excuse me i need to go huff off to bed, where i'm going to bite my pillow and write a non-too-happy entry in my journal about todays happenings.

[Non-Euclidean Geo.]

I need to go huff off to bed, where i'm going to bite my pillow

Save the dad-play for the podcast.

[SEELE_01]

Personally, I've been gunning for Morton. But I for one welcome our glorious Narwhal overlord. I'm really excited for this lineup, I think these top three will be fun to talk about.

[normsherman]

I heard the site was down in Florida. Too bad, because old people can't stand Narwhals.

[Mikes]

If the Narwhal thingy gets ins, surely all the other two have to do is wait on land? I don't care how genial it is, it's bring the good name of mega beats into disrepute!

[strawman]

Personally, I've been gunning for Morton. But I for one welcome our glorious Narwhal overlord. I'm really excited for this lineup, I think these top three will be fun to talk about.

Off-topic but serious issue: Adam thinks an alien race may be sabotaging the DC cockfight with their unnatural narwhal love. But I am personally concerned by a notable spike in the number of comments which zealously advertise a speculative celebration of prospective overlords.

Like hookers on streetcorners calling out to sailors, in their black fishnet stockings and wanton postures (the hookers, not the sailors), they have no thought of savings themselves for a truly worthy overlord, but throw themselves at every skanky shadow that slithers into town.

Come on people: it's called self-esteem! Get some!

Having said that, Morton was also my choice.

[tastycakes]

Like Adam, I have also returned. Yet, I want to encourage those of you closet voters (like myself) who are unabashedly voting for the friendly Narwhal. Although, it is pretty hilarious to view all 9 (?) of the commentors on this thread that can't understand why a consensus here doesn't equal voting dominance in actuality.

Also, though at last check Narwhal had a healthy lead, I wouldn't put it past Bo and Norm to pull a Florida Supreme Court on this vote and get their favorites in. If you thought Norm's whining on here was bad, you should have heard him in person. This guy wants Mongoose in and will do anything to ensure he is. Let's just wait for it...

[angagaur]

I think one day we will all look back with fond recollection on this event. Remembering what a fine thing it was that a Friendly Narwhal was able to make it into the Deathmatch. Sure, he may lack a chainsaw trunk, laser eyes, telepathic supremacy, or even an effective form of locomotion when he's not in the water, but his warm smile and positive, up and at 'em, attitude, combined with his terrifyingly persuasive negotiation tactics reminded us that "war is just diplomacy by other means" and this guy is so good at what he does, physical combat is virtually unnecessary.
Of course, when it does become necessary, the Friendly Narwhal's sweet, child-like laugh is the last thing his enemies hear as he withdraws his 10 ft tusk from the bloody, sucking chest wound that used to be their left lung.

[tbaker2500]

Like Adam, I have also returned. Yet, I want to encourage those of you closet voters (like myself) who are unabashedly voting for the friendly Narwhal. Although, it is pretty hilarious to view all 9 (?) of the commentors on this thread that can't understand why a consensus here doesn't equal voting dominance in actuality.

Also, though at last check Narwhal had a healthy lead, I wouldn't put it past Bo and Norm to pull a Florida Supreme Court on this vote and get their favorites in. If you thought Norm's whining on here was bad, you should have heard him in person. This guy wants Mongoose in and will do anything to ensure he is. Let's just wait for it...

Oh, I see. This is an issue of Kendall just trying to piss off Norm.

[strawman]

Friendly Narwhal : Tabula Rasa: Hope / Change : Yes We Can

Here's an inconvenient truth for you:
The battlefield is on land now, but Friendly Narwhal knows that AGW will raise sea levels and his foes will be stranded in his briny element.

I want to see his birth certificate.

[jonathancg]

Hey guys what's going on....

(Cue Anime Stunned Silence)

...........

...
.......


............

.
..

....

[StalinSays]

(Cue Anime Stunned Silence)

That was actually a series of filthy swears in braille.

------

So voter fraud was alive and well in this election. I'd have picked up on it earlier, were I not viewing the immense voter log upside-down! "Hey, who is this guy in LA who keeps... oh, it's me... at my old job.. damn." On Tuesday, individuals of nefarious intent were logging 10 votes in 20 minute bursts, an act that would be impossible were the safe-guards behaving effectively. My guess is a Firefox plug-in that obfuscated location, or perhaps something further advanced. Looking at this tome is like trying to find patterns in Pi - anyone who saw that movie knows the end result of such an endeavor.

I'm working with Chris Ruddy, our IT security guy, and host of the site (thanks Chris), and we're rigging in some new features. One, more legible voter logs, with vote info (moving to 8 competitors broke the old tracker). That way, should a future deduction be necessary, I can be surgical in my implementation. Also we'll be limiting daily votes at a browser, IP and network level.

------

It is with a heavy heart I make the following announcement: the now infamous Narwhal will be receiving high-hat handling. Said beast was at the center of much of the vote-jamming. Undoubtedly there were a healthy number of legitimate votes to its name, but its position bounces synced to aforementioned illicit vote surges. Dirty pool.

Friendly Narwhal will get a second chance to prove its viability - a season 5 berth is assured. But for the here and now round 3, there will be a substitution. Ranked fourth on the site, and first here at the forums, Mongoose will have her opportunity. This is where my heart gets all heavy - damn thing is a bull in a china shop. Sigh.

In conclusion, round 3, starting Sunday at Midnight will feature The War Machine of the Merfolk (War Mer'chine) vs. The Unspeakable Duck Creature (UDC) vs. Mongoose

[tbaker2500]

For what it's worth Bo, Chris effectively blocked all my attempts at using proxy servers. No matter what service I tried, it wouldn't click to vote. So Bravo Chris, and thanks for doing a great job!
(In my defense, I was only trying to figure out a way to hack to hand to Norm, after he asked where the "hack" key was".

Now onto the cast of characters. Shirley the War Mer'chine is bigger than a Bandersnatch? Should be a bit of a challenge. And the UDC has undefined abilities, so there's potential there.

[moonowl]

So voter fraud was alive and well in this election.

Told you it was all rigged.
*pouts about MDW still*

Also we'll be limiting daily votes at a browser, IP and network level.

So does this mean no more of our 'regular' type of cheating with weird browsers? Aww,that was fun!

[SEELE_01]

What's this travesty? The Mongoose is in over the Happy Narwhal? I was only slightly miffed when the Meth worm lost but this will not be taken sitting down.

I mean really, Mongoose isn't even magical.

I can assure you that Narwhal's push into third place had nothing to do with any proxy or hacking shenanigans.

[angagaur]

While Friendly Narwhal is disapointed that the land mammals assume the only way to victory is through acts of bloody violence and cybercrime, he looks forward to overwhelming success in the 5th Season.

Meanwhile, I think I hear the merfolk chanting watery work songs as they lash more flotsam and jetsam onto their engine of destruction. The seas will be avenged!

[Mikes]

Is the warmerchine piloted by a celeoquack, or is that completely different?

[strawman]

HAH!
Friendly Narwhal gets a reprieve that just HAPPENS to coincide with the fact that the rising seas are behind schedule. Come season 5, I expect FN to continue prancing around the shoreline.

[tastycakes]

Well I'll be the one that's not afraid to say this is total bullshit (see my post above). I called that Norm would get Mongoose into the final round along w/ his other prohibitive favorite, Wermachine.

The fact that we decide just in this round to investigate voter fraud is a total croc. All of the previous rounds have gone to shit, and yet it is this one that demands a thorough investigation? Also, how can we simply eliminate some competitors' votes and not others? While we're at grandfathering in competitors, why don't we just eliminate Minotard for Tristegotops?

It's these typical shenanigans that occur every year that keep the MBDM from being one of the most respected online competitions in history.