Drabblecast 049 - Heart to Heart
- Mr. Tweedy
- Member
- Posts: 1733
- Joined: Mon Oct 22, 2007 5:03 pm
- Location: Illinois (Land of Obama)
- Contact:
Drabblecast 049 - Heart to Heart
Heart to Heart by Christopher Kastensmidt
"I just don't think I can date you anymore."
"What, Carl? What's the problem?"
"Well let me ask you a question first. What do you consider your job description as high priestess of Hurl?"
"I just don't think I can date you anymore."
"What, Carl? What's the problem?"
"Well let me ask you a question first. What do you consider your job description as high priestess of Hurl?"
I enjoyed the shared narration; it worked really well with this piece. The story was entertaining, but I saw it coming a mile away, so the production saved this one for me.
"she says 'I like long walks and sci-fi movies'"
http://amillionwordstogo.blogspot.com
http://amillionwordstogo.blogspot.com
-
- Member
- Posts: 3
- Joined: Sat Oct 20, 2007 1:19 pm
- Location: US
- Contact:
- normsherman
- Site Admin
- Posts: 1427
- Joined: Sat Oct 13, 2007 4:58 am
- Mr. Tweedy
- Member
- Posts: 1733
- Joined: Mon Oct 22, 2007 5:03 pm
- Location: Illinois (Land of Obama)
- Contact:
This story didn't do anything for me. It needed a twist, but there wasn't one. The joke plods along in a perfectly strait line to a punch-line that isn't very punchy.
If Carl the Brave discovered his girlfriend was really an evil sorceress responsible for the summoning of many monsters and the deaths of many heroes, would the heroic have been to lock her up in a magic amulet or something (that is, assuming he's the sort of unenlightened, chauvinistic hero who doesn't kill women)? Kind of an under-reaction, don't you think?
"Are you the serial killer the police are looking for?"
"Well, yeah, I admit it. I kill people, like, every other tuesday. It's a hobby."
"Were you planning to kill me?"
"Yeah, you're next on my list. I was going to use your skull for a cereal bowl."
"Well, then! If that's how it is, I'm leaving."
"Aw, come on, Jenny. Please stay."
"Sorry, Phil, being used for crockery is one thing this woman just doesn't put up with."
(Door slams.)
If Carl the Brave discovered his girlfriend was really an evil sorceress responsible for the summoning of many monsters and the deaths of many heroes, would the heroic have been to lock her up in a magic amulet or something (that is, assuming he's the sort of unenlightened, chauvinistic hero who doesn't kill women)? Kind of an under-reaction, don't you think?
"Are you the serial killer the police are looking for?"
"Well, yeah, I admit it. I kill people, like, every other tuesday. It's a hobby."
"Were you planning to kill me?"
"Yeah, you're next on my list. I was going to use your skull for a cereal bowl."
"Well, then! If that's how it is, I'm leaving."
"Aw, come on, Jenny. Please stay."
"Sorry, Phil, being used for crockery is one thing this woman just doesn't put up with."
(Door slams.)
Advertise in this space!
- normsherman
- Site Admin
- Posts: 1427
- Joined: Sat Oct 13, 2007 4:58 am
Well I guess I had a simpler take on it (keep in mind I don't yes or no these stories so I feel ok to give my real opinion on them!)
I wasn't looking for a twist personally, it didn't seem setup that way. It was just one of those "talks" you have when you know it isn't working out with someone, except juxtaposed onto a ridiculously standard "fantasy" context. I guess I just saw it as "cute" so I knew it would work best with a co-narration. I certainly used a lot of "quotes" in this post.
I wasn't looking for a twist personally, it didn't seem setup that way. It was just one of those "talks" you have when you know it isn't working out with someone, except juxtaposed onto a ridiculously standard "fantasy" context. I guess I just saw it as "cute" so I knew it would work best with a co-narration. I certainly used a lot of "quotes" in this post.
"Give us all some Jelly"
- Mr. Tweedy
- Member
- Posts: 1733
- Joined: Mon Oct 22, 2007 5:03 pm
- Location: Illinois (Land of Obama)
- Contact:
Nice creepy drabble! I agree with Norm about Heart to Heart - although a twist would have perked it up a bit I found it a perfectly satifying sweet and amusing little tale of what might go on behind the closed doors of muscled barbarian heroes and beautiful demon-summoning sorceresses. Didn't you ever wonder what Thulsa Doom did on his days off?
-
- Member
- Posts: 181
- Joined: Mon Jun 30, 2008 7:26 pm
- normsherman
- Site Admin
- Posts: 1427
- Joined: Sat Oct 13, 2007 4:58 am