MBDM 2012 - Cloven Heat

[StalinSays]

WINNER: MR. D'ED



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Beast 1:
Dark Zuckerburg
Nature: Tapir
Size: 6' (Long) 3' (Tall)
Weight: 460 lbs
A meddlesome tapir which utilizes personal information to pinpoint precise weaknesses of opponents. Evil genius; manipulates competitors against each other through passive-aggressive signals and social cues. Lethal Poke attack can pierce any armor when allowed in close. Prolonged proximity allows for the theft of other beasts' powers.

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Beast 2:
Mr. D'Ed
Nature: Horse
Size: 10' (Long) 8' (Tall)
Weight: 1.25 tons
An unbelievable talking horse with the speed of light, a cloud of dust and a hearty Hi-Yo Mr. d'Ed! Time-bending speed fostered his return from those thrilling days of yesteryear! Will talk you down then hove your noggin.'

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Beast 3:
Jerkraffe
Nature: Giraffe
Size: 10' (Long) 90' (Tall - variable)
Weight: 2 tons
A giraffe with stilts for legs, so it's even taller than the usual giraffe! But all that altitude makes it cocky, so it treats peers poorly. Beware the Jerkraffe!

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Beast 4:
Pig Iron
Nature: Pig / Golem
Size: 13' (Tall)
Weight: 30 tons
The remains of Hogzilla, melded in to a statue of iron, returned to life with dark magic. This golem of gore swings its metallic appendages with bone-crushing force. Corpse inside shell is sole point of vulnerability. Movement cause deafening grinding of metal. Unholy furnaces animating form release bellows of choking smoke.

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Beast 5:
Camelflage
Nature: Camel
Size: 11' (Long) 6'7" (Tall)
Weight: 2 tons
A product of the boundless opulence of Dubai, from deep within an Oil prince's private lab emerges a beast made with all the best. A spitting camel, with reserves of napalm in its twin humps. Cutting edge synthetic camo serves as its skin, allowing for near invisibility, when stationary. Reinforced with a bullet stopping mesh, making the creature deceptively tough.

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[StalinSays]

For anyone perplexed by the Fist'Em System for voting, it's (hopefully) simple. An individual can cast a maximum of 4 votes on 1 beast per heat, during the week that the heat runs.

We're trying to cast a wider net this year, get more people voting, get more internet citizens puzzled and investigating the beast phenomenon! So for MBDM 2012 we're allowing for voting across multiple social networks, not just the homegrown stuff in the forums/megabeasts.com. No more daily, slavish, task voting and furrowed brows people!

A maximized vote of +4 would be: vote on the poll here, comment on the facebook page, tweet with the hash tag #MBDM2012 twitter, and comment on Bo's (my) Deviant Art post. Of course, an individual can stick with their preference (maximized voting is encouraged, but isn't mandatory - votes all count the same).

I'll have the total here on Wednesday January 25th, at which point the topic will be locked. All votes will be public, so you can check my math. Happy beasting - feel free to influence peers by commenting on this topic.

Links:

Votes using the twitter hash tag: https://twitter.com/#!/search/realtime/%23MBDM2012

The MegaBeast facebook page, including votes shown there: http://www.facebook.com/MegaBeasts

The DeviantArt post on which to comment, and votes contained there on: http://bokaier.deviantart.com/art/Mega- ... -280056850

[bo_puppet]

Poor Zuckerburg, no votes. Is it the nose! C'mon everybody, I know Mr. D'Ed is fast, but the Cameflage can turn completely invisible and slather him with napalm. That is a powerful power!

[jannypie]

I think Pig Iron is the toughest, but I voted for Camelflauge because it was my favorite combination!

Dark Zuckerberg is hilarious and vile at once! And I *HATE* pokes!

[tbaker2500]

Dark Zuckerburg's art is hilarious! I'm voting for 'im just to try and get him through to later rounds, to see if a lawsuit comes your way.

Plus, he looks like friggin Piglet! A Piglet who knows... EVERYTHING!

[behind the ziggurat]

Camelflage! Its napalm will take all the others out, and ignite Pig Iron's unholy furnaces.

[Candiboy]

Love the art Bo! Its all brilliant!

I had to vote for Mr D'Ed. People underestimate the power of fast talking!

[StalinSays]

Camelflage! Its napalm will take all the others out, and ignite Pig Iron's unholy furnaces.

I'm pleased with this Camelflage groundswell. He has what it takes! Love the username btw.

Interesting scenario for DZ's potential win laid out by Sarah G on the MBDM facebook page:

Pig Iron would dominate early on, but Dark Zuckerburg could be underestimated. If Camelflage and Pig Iron went at it (the obvious power lock), DZ could have the time to absorb some of Cf's abilities, get close enough to pierce PI's shell to expose the squishy corpse, and blast them both with a napalm strike. Unexpected win: Dark Zuckerburg

[munsi]

Well, I've always lived by the simple life lesson "root for the necromantic cyborg". Come on, Pig Iron, you can do this!

[ROU Killing Time]

Munsi, you and I are two for two on preferences so far... Woot.

Go Go team old-school.

[Algernon Sydney is Dead]

A horse is a horse, a corpse a corpse.
And no one can talk to a horse or corpse.
That is of course, unless the horse,
Is the dreadful Mister D'Ed!

People yak-it-ti-yak a streak
and waste your time of day.
But Mister D'Ed will only speak
to take your life away!

[tbaker2500]

Does poetry get you extra points?
So What's Mr. Ed's offensive weapon? A horse can kick pretty good, but can he hurt Pig Iron?

[ROU Killing Time]

Does poetry get you extra points?
So What's Mr. Ed's offensive weapon? A horse can kick pretty good, but can he hurt Pig Iron?

Join us, Tom. Don't go to the dark equine side...

[Algernon Sydney is Dead]

Does poetry get you extra points?

Of course!
How sharper than a serpent's tooth
is he who rhymes, and that's the truth!
Except for those rappers
with gold-plated crappers.

So What's Mr. Ed's offensive weapon? A horse can kick pretty good, but can he hurt Pig Iron?

As the brilliant John Boyd proved, speed (sensibly applied) trumps everything else in the battlefield (or the squared circle).

Mr. D'Ed would frustrate and confound that pig-headed beast with a series of kick-and-run attacks.

He'd blind him with a judicious application of horse-sh*t and pee like a racehorse upon his iron joints -- corroding them to the point of failure.

[tbaker2500]

Oh don't worry, I've already voted for pig and zuck.
But that raised an interesting point: How does Pig Iron pee? Does he piss molten slag?

[ROU Killing Time]

Oh don't worry, I've already voted for pig and zuck.
But that raised an interesting point: How does Pig Iron pee? Does he piss molten slag?

what an AWESOME attack.

[strawman]

Oh don't worry, I've already voted for pig and zuck.
But that raised an interesting point: How does Pig Iron pee? Does he piss molten slag?

what an AWESOME attack.

Okay, but unless he has a port open, he boils himself in his own au jus.

Making the pig-headed his own worst enemy.

[StalinSays]

Well, I never drew any, uh, "waste-holes" so it's up for interpretation. There's smoke coming from his mouth, so that would appear to be his port of expulsion. So let's say urinating and defecating, both molten, both exit via said port of expulsion.

You can see now why he's fighting mad.

As for Mr. D'ed's offense, Randy S. on facebook brought up a good point:

Mr. D'Ed moves at the speed of light people! He could kill all the others with a toothpick at that rate, they'd never see it coming.

[tbaker2500]

But can he STOP at the speed of light? Unless he has no inertia, he himself would also get slammed into his opponent. I think Pig Iron would survive that event.

[Algernon Sydney is Dead]

Pish Tosh.
You need to get yourself into a knife fight, ASAP!

Mr. D'Ed zips close by that rusty pig thing. The only thing that slams into that sucka is the toothpick, or a grain of sand, or even just spit.
At those speeds, just about anything will hit with the force of a hydrogen bomb.

Mr. D'Ed gets another thrilling kill, and the spectators get coated in iron vapor. Good times!

Of course, Mr. D'Ed might tend to burn up in the atmosphere, but I'm sure he can talk his way out of that.