Post your Twitfic Twabbles Here! (General Content)

Lone Mopper · Post by **Lone Mopper** » Sun Apr 08, 2012 8:28 am

If the computers on our TV satellites ever achieve valid AI they will probably move themselves out of orbit very quickly

munsi · Post by **munsi** » Mon Apr 09, 2012 7:37 am

They told us it was puppy love and I have to admit, in hindsight, it was. Joyous, unconditional, and very very intense...

Algernon Sydney is Dead · Post by **Algernon Sydney is Dead** » Mon Apr 09, 2012 7:43 am

I lowered a patch of rearranged deck chairs over the side, slowing the flood and saving all. Time travel & duct tape, FTW!

Algernon Sydney is Dead · Post by **Algernon Sydney is Dead** » Mon Apr 09, 2012 7:52 am

munsi wrote:They told us it was puppy love..............

It was puppy love! A lot of yipping, nipping and messes in inappropriate spots. And later, my love grew into a real bitch.

TroyStJames · Post by **TroyStJames** » Wed Apr 11, 2012 3:28 am

The average height of a U.S. zombie is 5'-10". Keep that in mind when setting up booby traps designed to take off the head.

TroyStJames · Post by **TroyStJames** » Wed Apr 11, 2012 3:36 am

Eager to wipe out the human race, Patient Zero rushed to the mall but discovered how many moms carry anti-bacterial gel.

TroyStJames · Post by **TroyStJames** » Wed Apr 11, 2012 4:04 am

I didn't explain why I needed the sewing kit. The first rule of Zombie Fight Club: you do not talk about Zombie Fight Club.

Algernon Sydney is Dead · Post by **Algernon Sydney is Dead** » Wed Apr 11, 2012 7:19 am

TroyStJames wrote:Patient Zero rushed to the mall but soon learned how many moms carry anti-bacterial gel.

Ah, but kill only 99.9% of some beasties, and after a while, what's left breeds into some damn tough Mo Fo's.

MRZA = "Multi-Resistant Zombie Arseholes Antagonists"

Tesseract · Post by **Tesseract** » Wed Apr 11, 2012 8:26 am

TroyStJames wrote:The average height of a U.S. zombie is 5'-10". Keep that in mind when setting up booby traps designed to take off the head.

Duly noted!

Algernon Sydney is Dead wrote: Ah, but kill only 99.9% of some beasties, and after a while, what's left breeds into some damn tough Mo Fo's.

MRZA = "Multi-Resistant Zombie Arseholes Antagonists"

I don't know, depending on where the infection starts the MRZA might actually be MRZP.

ROU Killing Time · Post by **ROU Killing Time** » Wed Apr 11, 2012 8:36 am

Algernon Sydney is Dead wrote:I lowered a patch of rearranged deck chairs over the side, slowing the flood and saving all. Time travel & duct tape, FTW!

It's true. You can build a fully functional time machine entirely made of duct tape.

Travelin Corpse Feet · Post by **Travelin Corpse Feet** » Wed Apr 11, 2012 1:23 pm

The crowd at the gallows looked up, then down. Up. Down.

“That bungee noose is makin’ my neck sore,” one man finally said.

TroyStJames · Post by **TroyStJames** » Wed Apr 11, 2012 2:19 pm

Travelin Corpse Feet wrote:The crowd at the gallows looked up, then down. Up. Down.

“That bungee noose is makin’ my neck sore,” one man finally said.

I love this one! Next they'll throw Nerf tomatoes at the stocks and burn witches tied to flame-retardant stakes.

tehmedus · Post by **tehmedus** » Mon Apr 16, 2012 7:24 pm

10 print "I found a way around the one hundred character limit for a my twabbles. This will change everything."

20 goto 10

Algernon Sydney is Dead · Post by **Algernon Sydney is Dead** » Mon Apr 16, 2012 9:46 pm

tehmedus wrote:10 print ... ...

Sorry, but DC accepts only punch-cards, BCD encoded, of Fortran.

tehmedus · Post by **tehmedus** » Tue Apr 17, 2012 2:51 pm

Algernon Sydney is Dead wrote:Sorry, but DC accepts only punch-cards, BCD encoded, of Fortran.

I was afraid of that...

Travelin Corpse Feet · Post by **Travelin Corpse Feet** » Tue Apr 17, 2012 10:21 pm

TroyStJames wrote:
Travelin Corpse Feet wrote:The crowd at the gallows looked up, then down. Up. Down.

“That bungee noose is makin’ my neck sore,” one man finally said.

I love this one! Next they'll throw Nerf tomatoes at the stocks and burn witches tied to flame-retardant stakes.

I was actually going for the irony of a bystander, watching a man hang, complaining about his neck.

Panicking, the vampire snatched up the phone.
“Doc, something’s wrong with me!”
“Yes?”
“There’s no blood in my stool!”

And another...

Doc examined the gaping wound in Sixgun Pete’s head.
“Well, I got some good news,” he said. “The bullet missed your hat.”

strawman · Post by **strawman** » Tue Apr 17, 2012 10:27 pm

Algernon Sydney is Dead wrote: Sorry, but DC accepts only punch-cards, BCD encoded, of Fortran.

See, that's what I like about this community.

It's like sitting at a cafe on the Champs Elysees, and listenning to people strolling by, speaking French.

"Pardonnez-moi, monsieur. Ou est la Gare du Nord?"
"Πηγαίνετε ευθεία, στρίψτε δεξιά στην Fortran"

Algernon Sydney is Dead · Post by **Algernon Sydney is Dead** » Wed Apr 18, 2012 12:09 am

strawman wrote:It's like sitting at a cafe on the Champs Elysees, and listenning to people strolling by, speaking French.

A target-rich environment that makes you want to wring their commie necks?

"You know the difference between a kiss and a 'French kiss', yes?

"I gave him a 'French handshake' - my hand on his liver."

Tesseract · Post by **Tesseract** » Wed Apr 18, 2012 1:53 am

Algernon Sydney is Dead wrote:
strawman wrote:It's like sitting at a cafe on the Champs Elysees, and listenning to people strolling by, speaking French.
A target-rich environment that makes you want to wring their commie necks?

I raised my commie killer 5000 to the monstrosity before me. "No one of us is more then the other," it said before I shot it.

ROU Killing Time · Post by **ROU Killing Time** » Wed Apr 18, 2012 9:21 am

Algernon Sydney is Dead wrote:
strawman wrote:It's like sitting at a cafe on the Champs Elysees, and listenning to people strolling by, speaking French.
A target-rich environment that makes you want to wring their commie necks?

"You know the difference between a kiss and a 'French kiss', yes?

"I gave him a 'French handshake' - my hand on his liver."

Whatever happened to those good old days when they sent us statues and got Ben Franklin laid...

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