Post your Twitfic Twabbles Here! (General Content)

Djinndustries · Post by **Djinndustries** » Wed Jun 12, 2013 10:48 am

Went to the butcher, got a cold pork shoulder for $4/lb. Gave Norm $500 for a bardl, got no song and a cold shoulder for free

strawman · Post by **strawman** » Wed Jun 12, 2013 4:43 pm

Never pay Norm up front. It's all gone to moose love.

afgrappin · Post by **afgrappin** » Wed Jun 12, 2013 5:54 pm

"Very good grasshopper," the old mentorish man said. "Next time, though, remove the wings. One got stuck in my throat."

afgrappin · Post by **afgrappin** » Wed Jun 12, 2013 9:29 pm

Eight legs. Big as a van. When it sat on the tuffet, the girl passed out. The spider feasted and told everyone she ran away.

strawman · Post by **strawman** » Wed Jun 12, 2013 9:44 pm

Bully, that!

Algernon Sydney is Dead · Post by **Algernon Sydney is Dead** » Wed Jun 12, 2013 9:55 pm

afgrappin wrote:Eight legs. Big as a van. When it sat on the tuffet, the girl passed out. The spider feasted and told everyone she ran away.

Good one.

I had an old attempt, but couldn't quite squish it down to 100 chars:

She sat on a stool, eating her gruel
when a spider fell into her hair.
She made to run, being no fool
but the bug was big as a bear.

afgrappin · Post by **afgrappin** » Wed Jun 12, 2013 10:07 pm

Algernon Sydney is Dead wrote: Good one.

Why thank you!

groomporter · Post by **groomporter** » Thu Jun 13, 2013 3:41 pm

Speaking of spiders...

Poor Spider Girl, doomed to be a spinster. Her partners learned she looses control of her web spinners when she orgasms.

groomporter · Post by **groomporter** » Thu Jun 13, 2013 4:12 pm

And to try to be topical for recent news:

I owe DARPA for perfect children. If it not for your breeding plan and an NSA hack of OKCupid I may never have found my wife.

Varda · Post by **Varda** » Thu Jun 13, 2013 7:59 pm

Screw gold! This dragon hoarded something rarer. Sleeping on radium rots your scales, but it keeps the burglars at bay!

Algernon Sydney is Dead · Post by **Algernon Sydney is Dead** » Thu Jun 13, 2013 8:47 pm

groomporter wrote:I owe DARPA for perfect children. If it not for your breeding plan and an NSA hack of OKCupid I may never have found my wife.

And our kids are so obedient! With a cute little blood-lust in their eyes.

Algernon Sydney is Dead · Post by **Algernon Sydney is Dead** » Thu Jun 13, 2013 8:48 pm

We tracked you to the polls by your cell phone GPS. We photographed your mail-in ballot. There's no need for any voter ID!

Andrew Styles · Post by **Andrew Styles** » Fri Jun 14, 2013 4:43 am

I shook it around, making it vibrate. She emanated a pure, clear tone of pleasure. I rubbed her neck. I sure love guitars.

Algernon Sydney is Dead · Post by **Algernon Sydney is Dead** » Fri Jun 14, 2013 5:00 am

Andrew Styles wrote:I shook it around, making it vibrate. She eminated a pure, clear tone of pleasure. I rubbed her neck. I sure love guitars.

Mispellerized. It's emanated. Fun idea, though.

So you (re)string your love (along)?

She sang my tune. She could tell I was treble, and a bass character too, but no big fret. She loved how I used her whammy bar.

scarcrow · Post by **scarcrow** » Fri Jun 14, 2013 5:09 am

Algernon Sydney is Dead wrote:
Andrew Styles wrote:I shook it around, making it vibrate. She eminated a pure, clear tone of pleasure. I rubbed her neck. I sure love guitars.
Mispellerized. It's emanated. Fun idea, though.

So you (re)string your love (along)?

She sang my tune. She could tell I was treble, and a bass character too, but no big fret. She loved how I used her whammy bar.

FLUTES!

...that is all!

Andrew Styles · Post by **Andrew Styles** » Fri Jun 14, 2013 5:13 am

Algernon Sydney is Dead wrote:
Andrew Styles wrote:I shook it around, making it vibrate. She eminated a pure, clear tone of pleasure. I rubbed her neck. I sure love guitars.
Mispellerized. It's emanated. Fun idea, though.

So you (re)string your love (along)?

She sang my tune. She could tell I was treble, and a bass character too, but no big fret. She loved how I used her whammy bar.

Thanks! I fixed it... Its all my tired mind could come up with for today. Glad you liked it!

Varda · Post by **Varda** » Sat Jun 15, 2013 4:46 am

I think my cell phone might be sentient. When I charge it, it bleats! Is it just me, or do Androids dream of electric sheep?

strawman · Post by **strawman** » Sat Jun 15, 2013 12:31 pm

Varda wrote:I think my cell phone might be sentient. When I charge it, it bleats! Is it just me, or do Androids dream of electric sheep?

Gets my vote for Twabble of the year.

Varda · Post by **Varda** » Sat Jun 15, 2013 4:33 pm

strawman wrote:
Varda wrote:I think my cell phone might be sentient. When I charge it, it bleats! Is it just me, or do Androids dream of electric sheep?
Gets my vote for Twabble of the year.

Everyone loves a good Dick joke.

Algernon Sydney is Dead · Post by **Algernon Sydney is Dead** » Sun Jun 16, 2013 12:29 am

I recorded the ringing in my ears and fed it into a SETI filter.
I heard the voice of God, saying, "About. Freaking. Time!"

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