Post your Twitfic Twabbles Here! (General Content)

unreliable narrator · Post by **unreliable narrator** » Sat Apr 26, 2014 3:21 pm

The black cat looked up from her saucer purring contentedly, her crimson whiskers dripping. Her Mousevice had worked!

ROU Killing Time · Post by **ROU Killing Time** » Sat Apr 26, 2014 7:02 pm

eric_marsh wrote:It's bad enough coming home to blood and body parts laying around my house. But it's worse when they're stuck to the wall.

Even worse still when it's a true story. #blech

Ltalek1 · Post by **Ltalek1** » Sat Apr 26, 2014 11:28 pm

Hammering I create a new thing that I call art, but the jury saw it as something quite ghastly and as a result I am dying now.

JarodKAnderson · Post by **JarodKAnderson** » Sun Apr 27, 2014 2:50 am

I grimaced at my ringing phone. The caller ID said, "Imaginary Number." I switched majors, but calculus still found me.

Algernon Sydney is Dead · Post by **Algernon Sydney is Dead** » Sun Apr 27, 2014 3:03 am

That's what you get for so negative with your (square) roots.

Ltalek1 · Post by **Ltalek1** » Sun Apr 27, 2014 6:04 pm

I keep doing the same problem. Distraction overwhelms me.
I flail about in the paper and death overwhelms me: paper cut.

Algernon Sydney is Dead · Post by **Algernon Sydney is Dead** » Mon Apr 28, 2014 1:08 am

The zombie had bit my left arm, the werewolf had bit my left leg. But Ted was able to amputate in time. I would be all-right.

strawman · Post by **strawman** » Mon Apr 28, 2014 1:57 am

I turn my back on you.
I lower my trousers, and bow as if to retie my shoes.

Full moon tonight, baby.

Algernon Sydney is Dead · Post by **Algernon Sydney is Dead** » Mon Apr 28, 2014 2:17 am

The creature was hideous & pale with an unblinking brown eye. It was so large, I couldn't miss. I kicked the shit out of it.

matspalding · Post by **matspalding** » Mon Apr 28, 2014 7:48 pm

Everyone looked at the man at the top of the table with envious eyes. He had everything. All he could think "I'm so alone".

Algernon Sydney is Dead · Post by **Algernon Sydney is Dead** » Mon Apr 28, 2014 10:55 pm

matspalding wrote:Everyone looked at the man at the top of the table with envious eyes. He had everything. All he could think "I'm so alone".

We'd like to think that; that they weren't mostly sociopaths. Here's a counter argument.

Ltalek1 · Post by **Ltalek1** » Tue Apr 29, 2014 1:57 am

On my lawn is an ant hill.
It gets larger every time I mow.
The hill is no longer a hill.
It's a mountain where ants are kings.

Spindaddy · Post by **Spindaddy** » Tue Apr 29, 2014 2:29 am

Algernon Sydney is Dead wrote:The creature was hideous & pale with an unblinking brown eye. It was so large, I couldn't miss. I kicked the shit out of it.

"Officer, you see these boots? They are called 'shit-kickers'. They were made for this type of thing. Just try them on!"

JarodKAnderson · Post by **JarodKAnderson** » Tue Apr 29, 2014 3:53 am

"I don't believe you have a surface-to-air walrus," said the President. "I respect your beliefs," I said, then I fired.

Algernon Sydney is Dead · Post by **Algernon Sydney is Dead** » Tue Apr 29, 2014 4:07 am

Ltalek1 wrote:On my lawn is an ant hill.
It gets larger every time I mow.
The hill is no longer a hill.
It's a mountain where ants are kings.

Hmmm. This is either a scathing metaphor on the state of certain forums or a serious insect problem. Imagine, defying the proper gender roles for ants!

JarodKAnderson · Post by **JarodKAnderson** » Wed Apr 30, 2014 1:09 am

I tried to lure the viking into drowning, but he was too buoyant. You can lead a Norse to water, but you can't make him sink.

strawman · Post by **strawman** » Wed Apr 30, 2014 9:35 am

Why is it that puns cause people to face-palm, slap their heads, moan, and roll their eyes?

It may be that deep down we know that we have applied the intellect and imagination we are gifted with at birth, and diligently devoted these gifts to the perversion of human wisdom, thereby in a small way contributing to the downfall of human civilization.

Puns are all about momentarily ending life as we know it.
A reminder that we are made in God's image: If He had said, "Let there be Lite", we would be made of beer.

Algernon Sydney is Dead · Post by **Algernon Sydney is Dead** » Wed Apr 30, 2014 10:02 am

Must we have this argument again? We get it... Mud, meet Stick.

Puns, properly done, are the highest form of humor because they require a commanding grasp of both language and its foibles (in addition to all the regular requirements of a good joke), and they can package great insight and humor into a very concise form.

Children do not appreciate whiskey, oysters, or sex.
Dogs do not appreciate expensive dog food when there's perfectly good cat poop at hand.
Likewise, I guess not everyone is cut out to appreciate puns. But those of us who do are in great company: Homer, Shakespeare, Oscar Wilde, Gilbert and Sullivan, Richard Feynman, Joel Hodgson, JK Rowling, etc. etc. etc.

Remember: every pun is its own re-word.

tbaker2500 · Post by **tbaker2500** » Wed Apr 30, 2014 3:39 pm

Keep 'em coming people, I love me some puns!

strawman · Post by **strawman** » Wed Apr 30, 2014 4:18 pm

Algernon Sydney is Dead wrote:Must we have this argument again? We get it... Mud, meet Stick.

Puns, properly done, are the highest form of humor because they require a commanding grasp of both language and its foibles (in addition to all the regular requirements of a good joke), and they can package great insight and humor into a very concise form.

Children do not appreciate whiskey, oysters, or sex.
Dogs do not appreciate expensive dog food when there's perfectly good cat poop at hand.
Likewise, I guess not everyone is cut out to appreciate puns. But those of us who do are in great company: Homer, Shakespeare, Oscar Wilde, Gilbert and Sullivan, Richard Feynman, Joel Hodgson, JK Rowling, etc. etc. etc.

Remember: every pun is its own re-word.

Fair enough, my friend, if you are proud of Oscar Wilde.
But, as with the great checkers-vs-chess debate, there is a moral imperative that punsters be followed around by a guy with a snare drum and a whip.

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