DIY Spaceship Repair (Asshole Samaritan Theme)
- MonsieurMoustache
- Member
- Posts: 334
- Joined: Tue May 28, 2013 8:11 pm
DIY Spaceship Repair (Asshole Samaritan Theme)
The alien pointed. "Purple wire to the red cubezoid, green tube into the qellezer puff, then reattach red wires to that squirmy Crweelin creature. Watch out, it spits."
Gart5bk's spaceship was nearly repaired, no thanks to his injured arms but to his enslaving-device and the hapless 'Earth' native he'd shanghaied. It should be grateful he'd expanded its mind to understand Alnitakian engineering.
Already late, he wasted no time blasting off.
The beagle, meanwhile, marveled over her new-found knowledge. Qellezers, Crweelins, wires and tubes raced around her brain. Only one thing troubled her. What exactly did purple, red, and green mean?
_______
I'd love some feedback on this one to improve it and make sure it's clear. Wouldn't mind a better title, either.
Oh, and I shoudl mention that my very first drabble here was the Good Samaritan Theme, so this definitely feels like a touchstone. I actually made it to mirror that one, which is called Bunking with Bovines.
Gart5bk's spaceship was nearly repaired, no thanks to his injured arms but to his enslaving-device and the hapless 'Earth' native he'd shanghaied. It should be grateful he'd expanded its mind to understand Alnitakian engineering.
Already late, he wasted no time blasting off.
The beagle, meanwhile, marveled over her new-found knowledge. Qellezers, Crweelins, wires and tubes raced around her brain. Only one thing troubled her. What exactly did purple, red, and green mean?
_______
I'd love some feedback on this one to improve it and make sure it's clear. Wouldn't mind a better title, either.
Oh, and I shoudl mention that my very first drabble here was the Good Samaritan Theme, so this definitely feels like a touchstone. I actually made it to mirror that one, which is called Bunking with Bovines.
Re: DIY Spaceship Repair (Asshole Samaritan Theme)
This one was nice until those blue, red, green things. Can't guess what they are. Kinda like when you pretend to throw the ball, but it's in your hand. WTF?
- Yrs truly,
The Beagle
- Yrs truly,
The Beagle
Never judge anyone until you have biopsied their brain.
"Be kind, for everyone is fighting a hard battle."
Known Some Call Is Air Am
"Be kind, for everyone is fighting a hard battle."
Known Some Call Is Air Am
Spoiler:
- MonsieurMoustache
- Member
- Posts: 334
- Joined: Tue May 28, 2013 8:11 pm
Re: DIY Spaceship Repair (Asshole Samaritan Theme)
I was riffing off the 'dogs are colour blind' trope. So while she knows what a qellezer puff is, she still can't tell what colour it is, meaning that that spaceship isn't getting very far. Did that come across?
Re: DIY Spaceship Repair (Asshole Samaritan Theme)
Ack!
I totally missed the dog/colorblind angle.

Never judge anyone until you have biopsied their brain.
"Be kind, for everyone is fighting a hard battle."
Known Some Call Is Air Am
"Be kind, for everyone is fighting a hard battle."
Known Some Call Is Air Am
Spoiler:
- pondspider
- Member
- Posts: 383
- Joined: Mon Sep 15, 2014 7:52 pm
- Location: Sussex, UK
Re: DIY Spaceship Repair (Asshole Samaritan Theme)
If this ever makes it to audio, the alien words will be fun.
For what it's worth, I read somewhere that dogs can see blue, and I've noticed many dog toys have a lot of blue on them.
For what it's worth, I read somewhere that dogs can see blue, and I've noticed many dog toys have a lot of blue on them.
Re: DIY Spaceship Repair (Asshole Samaritan Theme)
Just my opinion, but that last sentence might work better asMonsieurMoustache wrote:What exactly was a blue, red, and green?
_______
I'd love some feedback on this one to improve it and make sure it's clear. Wouldn't mind a better title, either.
Also, this is so reminiscent of the wrecked spaceship in Douglas Adams's Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency. Although I still don't know where the albatross came from.What exactly did blue, red, and green mean?

PS:- I only put that last paragraph in for the albatross line.

The truth may be out there, but lies are inside your head.
-
- Member
- Posts: 68
- Joined: Mon May 27, 2013 10:12 pm
Re: DIY Spaceship Repair (Asshole Samaritan Theme)
I hate to be that person, but attach is misspelled ( and that affects character count). I loved it and got the colorblind reference right away. It may not be 100% factually correct, but it's "common knowledge" and worked for me.
Re: DIY Spaceship Repair (Asshole Samaritan Theme)
So common usage has spilled over to common knowledge, has it?
Have you lost your senses, or have they gone common too?
Have you lost your senses, or have they gone common too?
Never judge anyone until you have biopsied their brain.
"Be kind, for everyone is fighting a hard battle."
Known Some Call Is Air Am
"Be kind, for everyone is fighting a hard battle."
Known Some Call Is Air Am
Spoiler:
- MonsieurMoustache
- Member
- Posts: 334
- Joined: Tue May 28, 2013 8:11 pm
Re: DIY Spaceship Repair (Asshole Samaritan Theme)
Thanks for the feedback, everyone. I actually did know that dogs see blue, and while I was relying on the stereotype of colourblind dogs, I find I can no longer perpetuate that stereotype. So Purple it is. Thanks for spelling catch, I guess I have to give up my notion of perfection. I did the changes suggested.
As for the Dirk Gently scene - which book was that? I think I only read Tea Time of the Soul and Salmon of Doubt. I don't really remember him at a spaceship scene. I am a major Doug Adams fan though, so I'm embarrassed I don't recall.
As for the Dirk Gently scene - which book was that? I think I only read Tea Time of the Soul and Salmon of Doubt. I don't really remember him at a spaceship scene. I am a major Doug Adams fan though, so I'm embarrassed I don't recall.
Re: DIY Spaceship Repair (Asshole Samaritan Theme)
A most wonderful drabble. And yes, if it makes it into audio it will be fascinating to hear the interpretation of Crweelin. 

And thus ends my $.02. 

- MonsieurMoustache
- Member
- Posts: 334
- Joined: Tue May 28, 2013 8:11 pm
Re: DIY Spaceship Repair (Asshole Samaritan Theme)
Hi tibbi! I came up with this while work on 'Space Puppies' but technically the dog was never in space, so I decided it didn't count. More space dogs in future.
- MonsieurMoustache
- Member
- Posts: 334
- Joined: Tue May 28, 2013 8:11 pm
Re: DIY Spaceship Repair (Asshole Samaritan Theme)
bounceswoosh wrote:I hate to be that person, but attach is misspelled ( and that affects character count). I loved it and got the colorblind reference right away. It may not be 100% factually correct, but it's "common knowledge" and worked for me.
Don't worry, it's word count instead of character count here so no harm no foul. I'm afraid I'm always a little clumsy on the keyboard, but 'attach' is one of those words my heads thinks just looks better with three t's. Yeah, I'm perpetrating a stereotype. I'm terrible. At least I'm not saying bats are blind or that lemmings jump off cliffs though.
- unseentangerine
- Member
- Posts: 207
- Joined: Wed Feb 05, 2014 4:05 am
- Location: Oregon
- Contact:
Re: DIY Spaceship Repair (Asshole Samaritan Theme)
Wow! This is great on many levels. triple the surprise, triple the points: +17. good stuff
that's right. I initially gave it 5.666666666... points
that's right. I initially gave it 5.666666666... points
Many on the forum have asked me, so here's my answer: a spoonful of lighter fluid. And you'll need to wash it out really well when you're done.
Re: DIY Spaceship Repair (Asshole Samaritan Theme)
MonsieurMoustache wrote:As for the Dirk Gently scene - which book was that? I think I only read Tea Time of the Soul and Salmon of Doubt. I don't really remember him at a spaceship scene. I am a major Doug Adams fan though, so I'm embarrassed I don't recall.
Between us then, we have three books covered, because I only read Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency itself, which I think is the very first one.
In it, DG has to contend with the ghost of an ancient space traveller who crashed on Earth and accidentally brought life to the planet when he got an Electric Monk, an AI devoted to believing things, to check out his repairs.
The Monk said they were good to go, but the ship blew up and killed the crew, leaving the ghost drifting the world trying to put its mistake right by possessing people. Including Coleridge, who wrote its life story into The Rhyme Of The Ancient Mariner.
DG uses Prof Chronotis's time machine to go back in time and plant the idea of an albatross in Coleridge's mind so that the ghosts plans will never come to fruition. Every time it tries, it gets confused by the albatross.
It keeps saying things like, "I wish I knew where the albatross came from."
It's a very long time since I read it though. I lost my sight a few years after and all I could ever find in audio were the BBC Radio plays. I ought to look on iBooks, I suppose.
The truth may be out there, but lies are inside your head.
- MonsieurMoustache
- Member
- Posts: 334
- Joined: Tue May 28, 2013 8:11 pm
Re: DIY Spaceship Repair (Asshole Samaritan Theme)
I believe Dirk Gently has a few audiobooks now (make sure you get the unabridged versions) and I know the Salmon of a Doubt is on audio, as that's how I came by it. Some should be available on Youtube, but I find just ordering the discs from the Library to be the easiest. They tend to have very good voice actors and are actually one of my favourite ways to experience DA's work.
The albatross sounds hilarious. Funny how often that turns up in British comedy. Albatross, anyone? Get your albatross here!
The albatross sounds hilarious. Funny how often that turns up in British comedy. Albatross, anyone? Get your albatross here!
- MonsieurMoustache
- Member
- Posts: 334
- Joined: Tue May 28, 2013 8:11 pm
Re: DIY Spaceship Repair (Asshole Samaritan Theme)
Oh, and I should mention that my very first drabble here was for the Good Samaritan Theme, so this definitely feels like a touchstone. I actually made it to mirror that one, which is called Bunking with Bovines.
- unseentangerine
- Member
- Posts: 207
- Joined: Wed Feb 05, 2014 4:05 am
- Location: Oregon
- Contact:
Re: DIY Spaceship Repair (Asshole Samaritan Theme)
I finally know how to pronounce the words in this drabble :O
Many on the forum have asked me, so here's my answer: a spoonful of lighter fluid. And you'll need to wash it out really well when you're done.
- pondspider
- Member
- Posts: 383
- Joined: Mon Sep 15, 2014 7:52 pm
- Location: Sussex, UK
Re: DIY Spaceship Repair (Asshole Samaritan Theme)
Certainly sounded authentic to my befuddled earunseentangerine wrote:I finally know how to pronounce the words in this drabble :O

- MonsieurMoustache
- Member
- Posts: 334
- Joined: Tue May 28, 2013 8:11 pm
Re: DIY Spaceship Repair (Asshole Samaritan Theme)
Wonderful job on the reading, Norm, I loved it! I'm surprised you got your mouth around all those weird language malfunctions I excused as alien language. Thanks for sharing it with the Drabblecast community.