Politico Beasts - Round 1

Who wins this battle?

Poll ended at Tue Sep 08, 2009 8:16 am

Warm Gore
13
42%
Ripped Chainy
18
58%
 
Total votes: 31

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normsherman
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Politico Beasts - Round 1

Post by normsherman » Tue Sep 01, 2009 8:16 am

Image

Politico-Beast Death-Match
Republicanarnage versus The Democratastrophy

Howdy all, welcome to this most foul of bestial exhibitions. MB3 will be starting in a few short weeks. While we stall, here is a special event riffing on a comment by the Drabble's own Mr. Tweedy. 3 rounds, 6 brutal competitors, 1 party ruling. A week of raw ballot stuffing decides the victor.*

Round 1 (Red) - Warm Gore vs. Ripped Chainy
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http://www.mega-beasts.com/politico/1_g ... _large.jpg


*unlike normal forum polls the politico beast competition is open to non-registered voters. So get the word out, have your friends help rig the vote. It wouldn't be much of an American election if you didn't. To our international friends, bear with us while we get a little bit jingo. The universal language of beast will be spoken again soon.
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Re: Politico Beasts - Round 1

Post by StalinSays » Tue Sep 01, 2009 8:50 am

Ripped Chainy

The former vice president makes one last cybernetically enhanced grab at world domination

Strengths
- Unbending will and an iron fist
- A transplanted mechanical heart that beats cold
- Fearful strength
- Titanium chains, for clobbering and imprisoning

Warm Gore

Another ex vice prez abandons his scruples, and decides if man won't save himself, it's time to hasten the end

Strengths
- Scalding, fiery breath
- Able to inflate self and hover, can increase size
- Hot-headed ferocity
- A power tie
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Re: Politico Beasts - Round 1

Post by BionicRaptor » Tue Sep 01, 2009 8:59 am

Warm Gore's flower power is no match for Ripped Chainy's glower power.

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Re: Politico Beasts - Round 1

Post by strawman » Tue Sep 01, 2009 12:55 pm

Warm Gore may have invented the internet, but Chain e-Mail hath verily girded his loins with it, inventing Spam. Since Republicanarnage and The Democratastrophy parties are a scam, Nigeria has hopefullness.
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Re: Politico Beasts - Round 1

Post by ROU Killing Time » Tue Sep 01, 2009 5:14 pm

Neither Global-Gore nor Lon-Chaney can stand before the might of the mystery contestant that entered the fray, uninvited.

Having given up on his quest to save the American consumer from evil corporate manufacturers, Trader Nader has set up a ponzie scheme to make Bernie Madoff seem like nothing more than a streetside 3 card monty dealer hustling small change from gullible tourists.

They shouldn't have answered that email about the once-in-a-lifetime "special investment opportunity"

This is all the more tragic since both ignored the impassioned plea from Ubuntu NissanHonda. How now be his soul eternally trapt in both of their excellent furninsings which reside now in warehouse of reposession.

How will either of them fund their plans for vorld domination?
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Re: Politico Beasts - Round 1

Post by Phenopath » Tue Sep 01, 2009 8:44 pm

This is an unfair match-up. Gore does not stand a chance against the nefarious powers of the puppet master. If Ripped Chainy was facing Gore and Gore's beard it might be a different story, but alas I see from Stalin's illustrations that this is not the case.

The die is cast, farewell Warm Gore.
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Re: Politico Beasts - Round 1

Post by ROU Killing Time » Tue Sep 01, 2009 8:57 pm

Phenopath wrote:This is an unfair match-up. Gore does not stand a chance against the nefarious powers of the puppet master. If Ripped Chainy was facing Gore and Gore's beard it might be a different story, but alas I see from Stalin's illustrations that this is not the case.

The die is cast, farewell Warm Gore.
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Mr. Tweedy
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Re: Politico Beasts - Round 1

Post by Mr. Tweedy » Tue Sep 01, 2009 9:08 pm

Gore is history. If he had been matched up against a different contender, he might do alright, but against Ripped Cheney? No chance. Gore's fiery breath will do nothing to Cheney's cyborg parts (at clearly demonstrated in all of the Terminator movies), his sensational rhetoric will not move his cold metal heart, and Cheney's chains will keep Gore grounded. Gore will be waterboarded in 9 seconds flat.
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Re: Politico Beasts - Round 1

Post by ROU Killing Time » Tue Sep 01, 2009 9:45 pm

Mr. Tweedy wrote:Gore is history. If he had been matched up against a different contender, he might do alright, but against Ripped Cheney? No chance. Gore's fiery breath will do nothing to Cheney's cyborg parts (at clearly demonstrated in all of the Terminator movies), his sensational rhetoric will not move his cold metal heart, and Cheney's chains will keep Gore grounded. Gore will be waterboarded in 9 seconds flat.
Hard to argue wth your analysis, especially since Warm Gore seems to embody all of the Post-Election New-Gore bravado.

But what if he digs deep in his bag of tricks to once again morph into his previous incarnation as the wooden wonder, thereby lulling Ripped to sleep, ruining his finances by levying a 100 percent tax against the GOP and replacing his cyborg heart with a government approved universal health care public option version which would only allow him to lamely crawl along the mat of the arena sniveling and puling like a little baby?

We'll never see that happen though. Once you've had a taste of the limelight and basked in the green shower of massive ticket sales, we'll never get him to shut up and flatten out again.

So ya. Much as it pains my bleeding heart commie-liberal socialistic do-gooding ass to say so, it's gonna be Chainey by a mudslide.
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Re: Politico Beasts - Round 1

Post by jonathancg » Wed Sep 02, 2009 2:12 am

Why is this even being debated? This is Gore we're talking about. If Cheney disagrees with him, Gore will simply refuse to show up.
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Re: Politico Beasts - Round 1

Post by F5iver » Wed Sep 02, 2009 2:35 am

Physics, people. Look at how easily Chain-e can go down, like a ripped but top-heavy T-rex. Gore may not have much upper body strength, but one whip of his monstrous tail will knock Chain-e on his titanium arse. Gore is a giant, hot-breathed Weeble. Falling down isn't in his vocabulary.

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Re: Politico Beasts - Round 1

Post by normsherman » Wed Sep 02, 2009 5:53 pm

Mr. Tweedy wrote:. Gore will be waterboarded in 9 seconds flat.
Ha!
Yah, I think Ripped Chainey would take this one too. I can see him grabbin Tyranagoreus's tail and just swingin him around ala King Kong vs Godzilla (1962). It rides on how high Gore can hover and how much he can inflate himself. If he can hover out of Cheney's range and hit him with a fiery air attack, Dick's toast.
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Re: Politico Beasts - Round 1

Post by StalinSays » Wed Sep 02, 2009 7:14 pm

I was lying at first, unregistered folks couldn't vote. When freeforums updated it removed the special permissions I gave this topic. NO LONGER! Log out, pick another browser, and vote again - it's just like old school beast voting. Don't leave your chads hanging though, they count them different in Florida!

(yes this mean my mother voted. Norm's dad would have voted... but he was busy. meow)
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Re: Politico Beasts - Round 1

Post by I... can't read or write » Wed Sep 02, 2009 7:47 pm

normsherman wrote:It rides on how high Gore can hover and how much he can inflate himself. If he can hover out of Cheney's range and hit him with a fiery air attack, Dick's toast.
You've gotta figure that Cheney has some reach with those titanium chains (melting point > 3000° F). He'll whip off any close to medium range float/fire attacks, and I doubt the fire breath can maintain scalding intensity over the long range.

Also, question for the artist... is that a dick coming out of his left shoulder, alluding to his namesake, or am I being Freudian? I'll take my answer off the air.

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Re: Politico Beasts - Round 1

Post by StalinSays » Wed Sep 02, 2009 7:48 pm

Oh, and yeh, so the semi-official word on powers:

Gore can inflate up to twice his normal size. This does not increase weight or strength, since it is just hot air. He can though float like a balloon, and escape Chainy's reach. To use his heated breath though, he releases said hot air. So he could not say hover above like a pest reigning projectiles down. He could use the float n' blow as a single strike offensive technique, but the technique wouldn't be the ultimate difference maker.

I thought people would side Gore on this one. He is heat, heat melts metal. This is almost pokemon-esque (Fire type vs Steel). What do you mean grown adults don't play pokemon? I'm grown? Adult... negotiable.
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Re: Politico Beasts - Round 1

Post by StalinSays » Wed Sep 02, 2009 7:50 pm

I... can't read or write wrote:Also, question for the artist... is that a dick coming out of his left shoulder, alluding to his namesake, or am I being Freudian? I'll take my answer off the air.
Freudian. You heart Cheney. Power is an aphrodisiac, I can't blame you. Just know his politics forbid him reciprocating your affection.
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Re: Politico Beasts - Round 1

Post by ROU Killing Time » Wed Sep 02, 2009 8:22 pm

normsherman wrote:
Mr. Tweedy wrote:. Gore will be waterboarded in 9 seconds flat.
Ha!
Yah, I think Ripped Chainey would take this one too. I can see him grabbin Tyranagoreus's tail and just swingin him around ala King Kong vs Godzilla (1962). It rides on how high Gore can hover and how much he can inflate himself. If he can hover out of Cheney's range and hit him with a fiery air attack, Dick's toast.
Important point you make there, Morm.

I hadn't considered the the fact that Ripped Cheney is obviously a tank build, but it's really gonna take some badass ranged DPS to take down Warm Gore, who himself is a Phase two aerial Ranged-DPS type of boss.

DBM Warning: Warm Gore is inhaling deeply!!! Take Cover.

Changing my vote now.

(I nominate myself for Nerdiest post of the week...)


ROU Cries Foul. You know they let you set up polls to change your votes. I thought this was a US style election. :P
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Re: Politico Beasts - Round 1

Post by StalinSays » Wed Sep 02, 2009 9:09 pm

http://digg.com/political_opinion/A_rea ... ts_Round_1" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false

Digg it if you have the time. Share, share, share this link - let's good some new blood on our hands.

ROU, if dead people can vote, we can swap ours. It's the American dream!
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Re: Politico Beasts - Round 1

Post by ROU Killing Time » Wed Sep 02, 2009 9:29 pm

StalinSays wrote:http://digg.com/political_opinion/A_rea ... ts_Round_1

Digg it if you have the time. Share, share, share this link - let's good some new blood on our hands.

ROU, if dead people can vote, we can swap ours. It's the American dream!
Let's make it a REAL US style election then. Tell Morm to change the poll settings to allow us all to vote multiple times. (At least 1000)

Think about it. The results will appear to be so much bigger and impressive looking.

Tweedy already pointed out the dearth of Female forumites.

Let's all of us male gendered posters do what we can to throw them a bone.

(All done with mirrors, baby, oh yeah...)
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Re: Politico Beasts - Round 1

Post by Wonko » Fri Sep 04, 2009 2:06 am

I think everyone is forgetting one thing about Gore: The power tie. How can any cyborg hope to defeat anything wearing a power tie?
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