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Seeking young and pretty princess to come whisk me away. Shining armor and white horse are optional. The slying of a Dragon is neither required nor desired, as I am rather fond of my own kind. If you are serious, please ensure that you are human, female, can tolerate a fiery temper and bring your ow...

Algernon Sydney is Dead wrote:A mugger stops 2 guys for money. As they both take out cash, one guy hands the other a bill & says, "Here's that 20 I owe you!"

Oh yeah, love the wise fool ones. Will be stealing this one.

The cute historian gave the grumpy geologist a look
that let him know he would never ever figure out what ‘recent’ meant.

Call me a fool, I'm not ever happy after I come home.
I fear pressure, and so I never even peer where my Angel fears to tread.

Jezebel painted her body with care, yet it was a waste of her skin to spell out The Curse on it. It took seven years of itching for the spell to dry. She kept the company, despite not having a full deck. ”Play keeps my mind from the scratch,” she used to tell a secret friend. A fly on the wall could...

Hobson’s choice would have been to call it a day, but they were doing time on that side of Pluto where the sun never shines.

"A friend of mine once played in a Trash Metal band, they even signed a contract." - "What happened?" - "They trashed it."

strawman wrote:That's just ASID porn.

Ah? ASID = American Society of Interior Design, I presume.

To be honest to God, it was a fool's errand to book a judge under cover, as he had not the faintest idea what ‘punish’ meant.

strawman wrote:How can a clam NOT be as happy as a clam? If he is an oyster trapped in a clam's body.

Sticking in "the world was his oyster" would have taken this over the top in a nutshell for a second spin...

Larry Clam was so happy he could have gone over the top in a nutshell. He’d been to hell and back on a pogo-stick and even wrote home about it. Between the devil and the deep blue sea he had kissed a loving seal. He told that to the marines, but they thought the kiss a bit made up. So after he had b...

You have a ball? I'm on a roll, get the ball rolling, hit the ballpark. Hit the road an hour ago and the street still smarts.

Beauty only goes skin deep, they always said. 

So after she had made a waste of her skin,

they threw her bones to the wolves.

When you closed that deal with God,
did it not strike you as rather strange,
that you were to sign it with your life-blood?