Classics 01 (EP 115) - Clown Eggs

[Mr. Tweedy]

Update (Sunday, June 8th, 2014): Drabbleclassics 1 – Clown Eggs
Feature: Clown Eggs by Jay Lake
Drabble: The Absurdly Connected Machine by J. Alan Pierce
Genres: Drabbleclassics Strange
Original Episode: 115



Monday, May 25th, 2009
The spring tide rolled across Momus Beach, tossing the flaccid corpses of clowns like so many torn balloons. Weathered to a dispirited pallor, they twisted in the foamy surf with the eternally surprised expressions of the dead..

Episode Art: Bo Kaier
Originally published in Abyss & Apex, 2004.

Twabble: “ The unfortunate explosion of the rabbit was gory, but mostly ironic given John’s last comment: “And for my next trick…” ” by LajesticVantrashellofLob

[Chivalrybean]

Uhm, that was the most disturbing, awkward, cringe-inducing and off-the-wall story in a long time, if not all time.

I liked it.

[Mr. Tweedy]

I'm gonna say that was "old school" Drabblecast. Not that there really was an old school, as far as I recall, but, out of all the Drabblecast stories I've heard, that was probably the one that feels most at home sitting under a grasping tentacle logo. It was thoroughly and deeply weird and for no other reason than the love of weirdness. There isn't even the shadow of a point, no real characters or plot, nothing to analyze, just about 4 metric tons of odd.

And so I feel conflicted. The rational, grown-up part of me thinks the story was dumb, since nothing happened, but there's a whole lot of little boy in me that's screaming "Cool!!" That part of me that has survived from the days when I would catch weird bugs and snakes and spend the whole day just looking at them is completely delighted by this story clown spawning and cannibalism, because that part loves nothing better than 4 tons of weird and couldn't care less if there was any subtext.

So, thumbs up. Score one for nostalgia. High five to the slimy tentacle of the Drabblecast.

And that snake-catching part of me is also thrilled that there is a Clown Egg Register. How awesome is that?

[ROU Killing Time]

There is a popular bumper sticker often seen around my home town that states simply "Keep Portland Weird!"

Good to see two local authors pulling more than their weight in this regard.

PDX Represent!!!

[Richmazzer]

Yah, I really liked the Drabble and the main feature.
That opening line for Clown Eggs for absolutely priceless. I find it hard to say "one of my favorites" for this podcast now, because the stories are all so different and weird. Mr. Tweedy makes good points why this isn't per say a good "story"... but whatever it is, it's definitely a good somoething. Uncle Smarmy is not only the most hilarious name for an old drunken cannibal bull clown stumbling down the beach, but the voice was perfect for him.
"Wee baby clowns to make an old clown young again..." Amazing.

The imagery is just wonderful in this. A desolate beach, after a mass mating, but instead of dead horseshoe crabs washing up its clowns. Instead of those black skate eggs sacks its clown sacks.
I've come to the conclusion, from his cd, the Black and White Animals Trilogy and the Drabblecast in general, that Norm is the master of a specific type of humor: taking something utterly ridiculous and delivering it in an utterly serious, dead-pan and extremely clever manner. I can only imagine his face when he gets stories like Clown Eggs, Creatures in Disguise, and anything by Frank Key.
Great show.

[Talia]

This might be, hands-down, the weirdest story I've ever heard on DC.

I think I'm going to have nightmares forever. Can I send my therapy bills to you guys?

[Goldenrat]

I've hated clowns since I was scared by one on a trip to the library in first grade so this story had me at "flaccid corpses of clowns". I thought the story was excellent - creepy, odd, and funny. I had to listen to it again to satisfy my appetitie for clown carnage. Yeah!

[strawman]

I wanted to post this under The Storyteller thread, but that thread is unfortunately expired (more than a year ago).
My point was that Norm is the storyteller on the train, and we are the kids in that story. Because the very good little girl was eaten by the wolf, betrayed by the clinking of her medals for goodness, "It was the most beautiful story I ever 'eard".
The rest of the world is like the Aunt in that story, trying to get us to live right and believe right, that there is a proper explanation for everything, and everything therefore must have a proper explanation. Life is a string of proper explanations, and if you're the explainer-in-chief, well then, you get to be Auntie.
But to create your own lingua joculara is to create something "horribly good". Pink drool from a juicy little clown nose - didn't you just know that baby clown noses taste like cherries?
Well it isn't proper, but it's real in the profound way that can only be described by things which make no sense, such as the fact that as many children are traumatized by clowns as entertained. (And that predates Heath Ledger.)
This was an 'orribly good story. Saki would have applauded.

[Beth Peters]

I didn't find it disturbing really, but sooo weird and so hilarious! I had a huge grin on my face the whole time. I think Saki's head would be spinning had he heard this.

I agree with Mr Tweedy that this had a real "Classic" Drabblecast vibe to it. I have just recently finished up the early archives and in those the audio quality is dramatically different, Norm is still funny but not quite the freed-up Norm we have today, there isn't any music or extra production, the stories are good but not what they are today (except for Norm and Luke's stories, which were great.) But overall, there was a very distinct and more pervasive "Clown Eggs" vibe to the show back then and that seems more diluted in the past year.
Not saying this is a bad thing, it's only diluted now because there are more diverse stories, more surprise, and I really like that. But very refreshing to get an old school bitch slap of just straight bizarreness on the rocks this week.

I loved how the baby clown absorbed traits from the old clown, memes and memories, from saliva drops and clown blood. Seems like a lot of good scifi ideas that got covered up by the pace of the story and the distractedness of the general oddity. At the same time, this story probably wouldn't have worked if it was any longer. If you stare a freak show too long not only does it becomes less fun, but you begin to absorb its traits.

I was glad that the baby clown took out Smarmy and was poised for a happy ending, but then the horrible twist came and the reveal that this baby clown would cannabilize the new hatchlings himself!
Mr. Lake's first DC appearance marks himself as a great writer who has a brain oozing with imagination, creativity and silly string.

[Beth Peters]

And that snake-catching part of me is also thrilled that there is a Clown Egg Register. How awesome is that?

Link?

[Mr. Tweedy]

Link?

In the first post.

[strawman]

I loved how the baby clown absorbed traits from the old clown, memes and memories, from saliva drops and clown blood.

I think there's a song by Crosby, Stills, & Nash about this.

[Phenopath]

Hmm, there seems to be a consensus; Drabblecast listeners like weird stories. No, that is a tautology

I too really enjoyed this story, and like Beth I had a smile on my face whilst listening. The imagery was well executed and there were lots of pleasing concepts. I particularly liked the inate language of clowns (well delivered by norm - are you part clown?).

The transmission of knowledge through bodily fluilds (or nano-technology embeded in such) crops up now and then in scifi, mostly in the weirder elements of the cyberpunk genre. One example I recall is the work of Jeff Noon, which is also psychedelic and trippy, another is Neil Stephenson's Diamond Age where nanotechnology in the context of an under-sea orgy causes spontaneous human combustion.

[ROU Killing Time]

Back when Piers Anthony wrote SF he penned a novel where the main protagonist was a squishy wet beach ball creature that squirted different flavored language fluid excretions at you to communicate.

Can't recall the title of that one off the top of my head.

[ROU Killing Time]

Back when Piers Anthony wrote SF he penned a novel where the main protagonist was a squishy wet beach ball creature that squirted different flavored language fluid excretions at you to communicate.

Can't recall the title of that one off the top of my head.

I think it might been "Thousandstar"

(Not that I think PA is in any way a giant in the SF field, but he was better in his SF career, in my opinion, back before he became an automated-xanth-factory.)

[FNH]

A heart stopping story. When it opened with dead clowns washing up and down the beach , I thought the story was going to be about an island paradise.


Please all join together and sing the following...

Clowns, Huh! What are they good for? Absolutely Nothing.

[Talia]

What's with the clown hate?? I think you need to be sent to clown sensitivity training :/

[tastycakes]

Can I recommend that we add a belated poll to this forum? Which group of painted performers are creepier -- Clowns or Mimes?

[Goldenrat]

Can I recommend that we add a belated poll to this forum? Which group of painted performers are creepier -- Clowns or Mimes?

I'd say clowns suck more. At least with mimes you can look away and forget about the dumbasses, with clowns you try to ignore them but you can usually still hear their damn horns tooting and stupid Bozo laughs. Ugh. Get rid of them!

[Talia]

Oh, now that the poll is up, the answer is clearly neither mimes nor clowns, but American Idol contestants.

*SHUDDER*