The Doomed Colony of Ball

100 word stories. Post all you like, maybe we'll dip in and use yours?
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CLP
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The Doomed Colony of Ball

Post by CLP » Fri Dec 04, 2009 6:17 pm

The explorers established their colony. The planet was small, but its green fields would sustain them. As time passed the scientist’s astronomical calculations showed that the orbit was in a massive decay. It would soon collide with the much larger planet that shared its atmosphere. Plans commenced for mandatory evacuation, but before they were complete, tragedy struck. A giant interstellar monster from the bigger planet snatched their planet from its already doomed orbit with its city sized teeth. Millions were killed instantly and millions more drowned in the down pour of the monster’s saliva.
“Good catch, boy.” Said its master.
Science Fiction Laboratory http://www.clperria.weebly.com

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Phenopath
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Re: The Doomed Colony of Ball

Post by Phenopath » Fri Dec 04, 2009 8:42 pm

Good job! I have seen variations on this theme, but this is nicely executed. Plus, I only appreciated the title until I had read the story (I am a bit slow today).
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Algernon Sydney is Dead
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Re: The Doomed Colony of Ball

Post by Algernon Sydney is Dead » Fri Dec 04, 2009 11:34 pm

Good enough story, but it needs paragraph breaks.

Also, the engineer in me would point out that it doesn't seem quite right... These guys are in a hyper accelerated time frame when it suits the author, but then conveniently drop back to real-time to create a plot contrivance.

If these guys were quick enough to colonize a ball in flight, spend much time there, and predict the coming impact; then they would be able to easily spot Cujo and to evacuate, or dodge, the teeth (which must seem glacially slow).

Likewise, even the bounce on the ground may be no more devastating or noticeable, to them, than the tides or Earth's rotation is to us. A problem maybe, but easily dealt with, in their timeframe.

Sorry to nitpick; it's a fine story -- until you think about the logic and physics.

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Re: The Doomed Colony of Ball

Post by strawman » Sat Dec 05, 2009 1:20 am

I don't see the problem. The story is about throwing a ball to a dog. The slime-covered ball has a tiny civilization living in it. Could have been developing for years in the back yard, at least if your dog's slime-covered ball is anything like mine. City-sized teeth may be a bit of a scale problem. State-sized?
Never judge anyone until you have biopsied their brain.

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Phenopath
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Re: The Doomed Colony of Ball

Post by Phenopath » Sat Dec 05, 2009 9:05 am

It depends on the size of the dog.
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Algernon Sydney is Dead
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Re: The Doomed Colony of Ball

Post by Algernon Sydney is Dead » Sat Dec 05, 2009 10:28 am

strawman wrote:I don't see the problem. The story is about throwing a ball to a dog. The slime-covered ball has a tiny civilization living in it. Could have been developing for years in the back yard, at least if your dog's slime-covered ball is anything like mine. City-sized teeth may be a bit of a scale problem. State-sized?
The ball was clearly colonized in the air, hence the worry about the "orbit". Nothing was mentioned about a giant throwing arm or being loaded into one of those tennis-ball slingshots. To such a hyper-fast species -- indeed to the REAL stuff growing on our dogs' toys -- none of these events is a threat. (Except that dog saliva is deadly to some microorganisms.)

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strawman
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Re: The Doomed Colony of Ball

Post by strawman » Sat Dec 05, 2009 1:44 pm

Yeah, orbit is wrong, but I'm pretty sure CLP intended the image to resolve to a kid with his dog in the backyard.
So, CLP, the ball's in your court.
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Never judge anyone until you have biopsied their brain.

"Be kind, for everyone is fighting a hard battle."
Known Some Call Is Air Am
Spoiler:
Non sum qualis eram = "I am not who I will be"

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