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The Doomed Colony of Ball

Posted: Fri Dec 04, 2009 6:17 pm
by CLP
The explorers established their colony. The planet was small, but its green fields would sustain them. As time passed the scientist’s astronomical calculations showed that the orbit was in a massive decay. It would soon collide with the much larger planet that shared its atmosphere. Plans commenced for mandatory evacuation, but before they were complete, tragedy struck. A giant interstellar monster from the bigger planet snatched their planet from its already doomed orbit with its city sized teeth. Millions were killed instantly and millions more drowned in the down pour of the monster’s saliva.
“Good catch, boy.” Said its master.

Re: The Doomed Colony of Ball

Posted: Fri Dec 04, 2009 8:42 pm
by Phenopath
Good job! I have seen variations on this theme, but this is nicely executed. Plus, I only appreciated the title until I had read the story (I am a bit slow today).

Re: The Doomed Colony of Ball

Posted: Fri Dec 04, 2009 11:34 pm
by Algernon Sydney is Dead
Good enough story, but it needs paragraph breaks.

Also, the engineer in me would point out that it doesn't seem quite right... These guys are in a hyper accelerated time frame when it suits the author, but then conveniently drop back to real-time to create a plot contrivance.

If these guys were quick enough to colonize a ball in flight, spend much time there, and predict the coming impact; then they would be able to easily spot Cujo and to evacuate, or dodge, the teeth (which must seem glacially slow).

Likewise, even the bounce on the ground may be no more devastating or noticeable, to them, than the tides or Earth's rotation is to us. A problem maybe, but easily dealt with, in their timeframe.

Sorry to nitpick; it's a fine story -- until you think about the logic and physics.

Re: The Doomed Colony of Ball

Posted: Sat Dec 05, 2009 1:20 am
by strawman
I don't see the problem. The story is about throwing a ball to a dog. The slime-covered ball has a tiny civilization living in it. Could have been developing for years in the back yard, at least if your dog's slime-covered ball is anything like mine. City-sized teeth may be a bit of a scale problem. State-sized?

Re: The Doomed Colony of Ball

Posted: Sat Dec 05, 2009 9:05 am
by Phenopath
It depends on the size of the dog.

Re: The Doomed Colony of Ball

Posted: Sat Dec 05, 2009 10:28 am
by Algernon Sydney is Dead
strawman wrote:I don't see the problem. The story is about throwing a ball to a dog. The slime-covered ball has a tiny civilization living in it. Could have been developing for years in the back yard, at least if your dog's slime-covered ball is anything like mine. City-sized teeth may be a bit of a scale problem. State-sized?
The ball was clearly colonized in the air, hence the worry about the "orbit". Nothing was mentioned about a giant throwing arm or being loaded into one of those tennis-ball slingshots. To such a hyper-fast species -- indeed to the REAL stuff growing on our dogs' toys -- none of these events is a threat. (Except that dog saliva is deadly to some microorganisms.)

Re: The Doomed Colony of Ball

Posted: Sat Dec 05, 2009 1:44 pm
by strawman
Yeah, orbit is wrong, but I'm pretty sure CLP intended the image to resolve to a kid with his dog in the backyard.
So, CLP, the ball's in your court.
wOOf