Page 1 of 1

To day your a man

Posted: Mon Dec 07, 2009 4:53 pm
by Jmsbrtms
I'm starting to appreciate the skill needed to write a Drabble.


“No.”

“No? You're telling your father No?”

“I’m 17. I’m not a kid anymore!”

He paused. Maybe, just maybe. “Before you storm out of here sit down for a second.”

“I’m going to that party next week.”

“You want to be an adult, that’s fine.”

“I can go?”

“You don’t have to ask my permission any more.”

“Thanks dad,” He stood up to leave.

“Hey hold on a second.” He shuffled around the desk. “Your car insurance is due.”

The young man looked at the papers. “It’s 300 dollars!”

“Yeah, looks like you need a job.” The father smiled.

Re: To day your a man

Posted: Mon Dec 07, 2009 5:45 pm
by strawman
Ah. Teen Rock meets eternal hard place. The solution is rather pedestrian.

Re: To day your a man

Posted: Mon Dec 07, 2009 6:11 pm
by juliasd
That dad sounds eerily like my parents when I turned 18.

Re: To day your a man (sic)

Posted: Mon Dec 07, 2009 8:59 pm
by Algernon Sydney is Dead
Good job telling a story.
But, the story is very commonplace and hence not too interesting.

Two nits:
I only count 99 words.
The title has typos. It should be: "Today you're a man".

Re: To day your a man

Posted: Mon Dec 07, 2009 9:40 pm
by Jmsbrtms
Yeah it's a little dull. I was worried about it being too much a white room dialog.

Re: To day your a man

Posted: Wed Dec 09, 2009 8:06 am
by normsherman
Haha, we're gonna have to formalize Dead Algy as official Drabble/Twitfic moderator.
Fun lil Drabble jmsbrtms, keep em comin