Failing and Flying

100 word stories. Post all you like, maybe we'll dip in and use yours?
Post Reply
User avatar
crazyhorse
Member
Posts: 13
Joined: Wed Jan 13, 2010 4:45 pm
Location: Las Vegas, NV

Failing and Flying

Post by crazyhorse » Wed Jan 13, 2010 5:00 pm

The sensation of falling is always the same. The wind screams past you in a rage as you rip atoms from each other. If you open your eyes, and with practice, you will, all you see are blurry shapes rushing toward you. Eventually you become so adapted that you will be able to locate a specific target. With enough practice you can eventually spin your body into a cyclone of destruction, creating a wider impact point on the ground. When the cyclone touches down it will break apart sending a wayward hand to slap the face of a stunned onlooker.
The floggings will continue until morale improves.

User avatar
strawman
Member
Posts: 5966
Joined: Sat Oct 20, 2007 2:20 pm
Location: South Georgia

Re: Failing and Flying

Post by strawman » Wed Jan 13, 2010 5:37 pm

Superlative! Awesome first post, crazyhorse.
Question: I imagined TORNADO instead of CYCLONE because of "touches down". Still not sure what you intended as, on the other hand, "If you open your eyes" is a nice cyclonic metaphor.

Do you study meteors?
Never judge anyone until you have biopsied their brain.

"Be kind, for everyone is fighting a hard battle."
Known Some Call Is Air Am
Spoiler:
Non sum qualis eram = "I am not who I will be"

User avatar
crazyhorse
Member
Posts: 13
Joined: Wed Jan 13, 2010 4:45 pm
Location: Las Vegas, NV

Re: Failing and Flying

Post by crazyhorse » Thu Jan 14, 2010 3:52 am

Hey thanks!

Actually, I had tornado in first but I had a horse named Cyclone that had to be put down about three weeks after I wrote this so I changed it up. Mushy, yes, but it makes me smile.

This one was actually a second draft. The first one (posted below) seemed a little lacking.

The sensation of falling is always the same. The wind rushes past your ears in a screaming cacophony of regret. If you dare to open your eyes all you see are blurry shapes rushing toward you. Your body lurches in the open air dancing a useless jig that in any other circumstance would be hilarious. Your own brain screams, revolting against the decision it has made. You finally slam into the concrete that swells around your body like a wave. This time you’ve only lost an eye. Yes, the sensation is always the same, but the outcome, not so much.

I don't study meteors but I've always been interested. Know any good sites to get me started?
The floggings will continue until morale improves.

User avatar
strawman
Member
Posts: 5966
Joined: Sat Oct 20, 2007 2:20 pm
Location: South Georgia

Re: Failing and Flying

Post by strawman » Thu Jan 14, 2010 2:04 pm

Sorry, the meteor question was unfair for a first post. I wrote one last week about wanting to talk with a meteorologist about meteors, but all they want to discuss is the weather.

Now that I know the horse angle, it's kind of neat to think of the twabble being from the perspective of a galloping horse.

Nice tribute.

Makes me wonder--- you don't hear much about the profession of coming up with clever things to engrave on tombstones any more. I bet this community would be terribly good at that.

EG: Here lies Lester Moore; Four slugs from a .44; No Les No More.

See http://www.quotemountain.com/sayings/fu ... yings.html" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false

These are almost twabbles.
Never judge anyone until you have biopsied their brain.

"Be kind, for everyone is fighting a hard battle."
Known Some Call Is Air Am
Spoiler:
Non sum qualis eram = "I am not who I will be"

Post Reply