I would SO totally do this!

100 word stories. Post all you like, maybe we'll dip in and use yours?
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Mikes
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I would SO totally do this!

Post by Mikes » Fri Sep 24, 2010 4:00 am

“Grandma, you here?’ Jenny dropped her school bag by the door and headed for the kitchen. “Grandma?”

The air around her dropped a degree as her Grandma faded in. “I’m here dear, how was school?”

“Good. Where were you?”

“Oh, some kids had a ouija board and I was amusing myself.”

“Anyone I know?” Jenny asked, setting about making a sandwich.

Her Grandma floated around, watching. “I don’t think so, dear. But if you want to see something fun I’d take your camera and head down to Lincoln Park at seven. Some kids seem to think there’s treasure buried there.”
Let me through, I'm a colour therapist!

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strawman
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Re: I would SO totally do this!

Post by strawman » Fri Sep 24, 2010 9:05 am

Do... NOT... seek... the... treasure.
Never judge anyone until you have biopsied their brain.

"Be kind, for everyone is fighting a hard battle."
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Farseeker
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Re: I would SO totally do this!

Post by Farseeker » Fri Sep 24, 2010 12:15 pm

I've sometimes wondered what opportunities there might be for a dead person with a sense of humor.

To me, this felt a bit thin. Several elements -- that it was a little girl, coming home from school, dropping the book bag, making the sandwich -- didn't contribute much other than setting and word count. For me, one of the joys of a great Drabble is that I can't imagine the telling the same story in fewer words. This was "thin" in that it could be edited down and still tell the story.
I never could get the hang of Thursdays.

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babydyke
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Re: I would SO totally do this!

Post by babydyke » Fri Sep 24, 2010 8:00 pm

Nifty!
A hard heart is no infallible protection against a soft head. ~C.S. Lewis

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Mikes
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Re: I would SO totally do this!

Post by Mikes » Sat Sep 25, 2010 1:59 am

Farseeker wrote:To me, this felt a bit thin. Several elements......
Thanks for the feedback mate, you you're right. This popped into my head and put it down without much thinking, writing it as if it were a short story rather than a drabble, which I agree are two different mediums.

I'm still playing around with the idea of expanding it, but we'll see.
Let me through, I'm a colour therapist!

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