A Lack of Jiggling

100 word stories. Post all you like, maybe we'll dip in and use yours?
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Scattercat
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A Lack of Jiggling

Post by Scattercat » Sat Nov 06, 2010 3:00 am

"The new model is 40% lighter – we had some interesting alloy work coming out of a subsidiary – and the onboard computer can process literally millions of variations on any cheer. Triple somersaults are not out of the question, and from a standing start."

"She ain't too pretty. Kinda shiny and metal, like," Coach said, rubbing his thinning hair.

The salesman's lips quirked. "I thought that wasn't the point? You were quoted extensively in the article. 'It's about skill and enthusiasm,' as I recall. You won't find anything more enthusiastic than this."

"Yeah, well... I reckon we'll go with this'n, then."

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Thomas Daulton
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Re: A Lack of Jiggling

Post by Thomas Daulton » Sat Nov 06, 2010 6:39 pm

Like it! It leverages a lot of unsaid things in order to give _both_ the characters depth. Very effective. And the title is a perfect capstone!
"All that is gold does not glitter; not all those that wander are lost." --J.R.R. TOLKIEN

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Scattercat
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Re: A Lack of Jiggling

Post by Scattercat » Sun Nov 07, 2010 2:21 am

I am overly fond of clever titles, I admit. Sometimes I worry that I'm cheating a bit, since titles aren't part of the wordcount and I use them to convey information relevant to the story.

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Thomas Daulton
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Re: A Lack of Jiggling

Post by Thomas Daulton » Sun Nov 07, 2010 6:51 pm

No, I side with you on that point. As long as it's not a 15-word title or something. Like I just said, the title is the capstone...
"All that is gold does not glitter; not all those that wander are lost." --J.R.R. TOLKIEN

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