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Frozen Time

Posted: Thu Dec 09, 2010 12:18 am
by Loof
People have described empty hours as vast oceans of time, but that doesn’t work. Oceans are filled with complex currents and swirls below the surface. No, the empty hours are glaciers: huge, solid, inching infinitesimally forwards.
I have been in this escape pod for thirty inches. I now measure time by how far my beard has grown, as nothing else changes.
The life-support system will keep me alive longer than I know. I should be unconscious, but something’s gone wrong. So, I’m awake, unable to move out of this life-support chair, with a tiny window showing me the blackness beyond.

Re: Frozen Time

Posted: Thu Dec 09, 2010 6:47 am
by Thomas Daulton
Very nice narrative! Would make a great opening for a longer story. Superb descriptions. As a Drabble, it kinda disappoints me that I won't be reading any more.
On the other hand, I just now listened to Drabblecast 173, I think it was, one of the Trifectas, where one of the three stories was actually a set of 6 interlinked Drabbles. I think your subject matter here might be good for something like that. I would love to read 4 or 5 more Drabbles, each written in completely different styles, about the wondrous and then horrifying things this poor survivor sees outside his window as the pod passes through different regions of space... was that your plan all along, with the "tiny window"?

Re: Frozen Time

Posted: Thu Dec 09, 2010 2:20 pm
by strawman
Drabble #2 could be the story of learning to play mental chess against himself. #3 could be where he mentally calculates the value of pi to 20 decimals. And #6 would be playtime with his imaginary friends.

Re: Frozen Time

Posted: Thu Dec 09, 2010 9:24 pm
by zcarter80
awesome description and i agree more to this would be awesome but i love it man kudos on a well done drabble.

Re: Frozen Time

Posted: Fri Dec 10, 2010 3:55 am
by Scattercat
I don't think it needs more. It's fine as it is. Some things are best left implied.

Re: Frozen Time

Posted: Wed Dec 15, 2010 2:52 pm
by Loof
I'm very flattered by the response this has had. I don't think I'll write any sequels to this though, as it would logically conclude with his beard becoming so large that the escape pod can't contain it, making it break through the tiny window and him being sucked into the void.

Re: Frozen Time

Posted: Wed Dec 15, 2010 4:02 pm
by Scattercat
Well, no, not logically it wouldn't. Hair stops growing at a genetically/environmentally determined point. For instance, my beard is about four inches, uncurled, and it never gets much longer than that no matter how many months I leave it.

If you want a stylish/dramatic ending, though, that's fine.

Re: Frozen Time

Posted: Thu Dec 16, 2010 3:13 am
by zcarter80
I think your beard is just lying in wait until you least expect it. or perhaps even growing long enough to do its evil will and then retracting into your skin as you remain ignorant to its dirty deeds. How sure are you, that you really left that nightstand drawer open?

Re: Frozen Time

Posted: Fri Dec 17, 2010 6:36 am
by Betadog
A friend of mine came back from vacation without his beard, and I had grown one while he was gone. When we first laid eyes on each other it was an eerie moment.

Men come and go but the beard abides.

Great story btw. I also think it stands well on it's own.