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Intervention

Posted: Fri Jun 17, 2011 2:05 am
by rowan_bristol
The envelope lay next to the razor. Elise had given him the envelope a year ago, before she’d disappeared. One day, she’d said, he would follow her on the journey. The moment it became too much, she’d said pleadingly, he had to read the message. Wiping his eyes, he cut open the envelope. A small introduction card fell out, written in her beautiful script.

“Have you considered going mad instead?”

He laughed. And the tears that fell didn’t stop the laughter. The razor dropped like a swan’s fart in his hands as the melody of Elise’s voice echoed in platinum.

Re: Intervention

Posted: Fri Jun 17, 2011 12:29 pm
by strawman
I liked this, but the simile in the last sentence leaves me curious about what a swan's fart feels like in the hand. Is that thought where you want to leave your audience?

Re: Intervention

Posted: Fri Jun 17, 2011 2:03 pm
by Scattercat
Probably pretty moist. Y'know, cloaca and all.

Re: Intervention

Posted: Fri Jun 17, 2011 2:50 pm
by rowan_bristol
and entirely unlike a razor. :)

However, note taken and accepted. I need to be better with my nonsensical terms.

Re: Intervention

Posted: Wed Jun 29, 2011 3:28 am
by ROU Killing Time
I think you must have written this just for me, whether you knew it or not.

Re: Intervention

Posted: Thu Jun 30, 2011 7:40 pm
by rowan_bristol
ROU Killing Time wrote:I think you must have written this just for me, whether you knew it or not.
I'm glad, then. :)