I'll Explain It One More Time

[Varda]

“So you see, Honey, zombies just wouldn’t work in the real world,” Jason explained. “Dying cells flood your muscle fibers with calcium ions, causing myosin-actin cross-bridging, which makes all your muscles contract at once. Y’know, rigor mortis. Without ATP, your muscles can’t unclench, and of course a dead body doesn’t make ATP. When your muscles finally start to relax, that’s because the myofilaments are decaying, and by that point you won’t exactly be able to chase anyone for their brains, will you?”

“GRAAAAAAAHH,” his wife moaned, clawing at him as she strained against the ropes holding her to the shed.

[Christi]

Jason doesn’t seem to understand that firstly his wife is un - dead – logic doesn’t apply.
Secondly his wife is obviously angry and logic doesn’t apply
Thirdly his wife has a serious craving for a specific and food type – logic doesn’t apply
Fourthly his wife is female logic doesn’t apply.
stop explaining and just Run Jason, just run.

[strawman]

Secondly his wife is obviously angry and logic doesn’t apply
Thirdly his wife has a serious craving for a specific and food type – logic doesn’t apply

This could be due to hormonal changes which, in conjunction with the craving for a specific food type, may indicate that a pregnancy test is called for.

[Varda]

This could be due to hormonal changes which, in conjunction with the craving for a specific food type, may indicate that a pregnancy test is called for.

That'd certainly explain the bloating!

[DoctorBanzai]

You had me going there, Varda. This is my new favorite Drabble.

[Varda]

Never too early to start dreamin' of that Chalice of Glory...*

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*Recognizing, of course, how ballsy and presumptuous it is to picture myself in such illustrious company when I've just walked into the community. You've gotta have dreams though. Mine are to eat a whale steak, add a CoG to my mantle between my wedding photo and Grandma's antique candlesticks, and train a cat how to use a toilet. Dream big!