Spring, Unwinding

100 word stories. Post all you like, maybe we'll dip in and use yours?
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Scattercat
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Spring, Unwinding

Post by Scattercat » Thu Aug 29, 2013 9:08 am

The flowers clicked gently in the breeze. Intrigued, I plucked one.

The stem was oddly stiff, and it broke with a metallic ping. Inside, it was hollow, a tube with a long, thin cam shaft running down it. The petals, blunt and angular, gleamed copper-bright and polished.

I looked up from my prize. The blossoms were opening as the sun rose. They meshed, gear linking to gear through the flower bed. The clicking became a rattle, then a hum. A rumble echoed haltingly from deep underground.

It’s March now. The flowers are still sprouting. The machine is not finished.

Yet.

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gunsofchekhovia
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Re: Spring, Unwinding

Post by gunsofchekhovia » Thu Aug 29, 2013 1:58 pm

I like the wordplay. I also like the gradually building sense of dread. I never trust anyone or anything that seems too happy, and Spring is no exception.

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Flintknapper
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Re: Spring, Unwinding

Post by Flintknapper » Thu Aug 29, 2013 3:24 pm

a Steam garden?

Interesting piece of flash fiction. Interesting to see steam punk boiled down to 100 words. Good imagery, but not sure it is a stand alone piece. Why would someone build a mechanical garden? to impress a lover? unleash toxic spores into the atmosphere?

or do I have it wrong? are the gears a metaphor for the clockwork which is mother earth?

Cool concept. It doesn't conjure up any similarities I have read elsewhere. I am not saying it is unique, but it is unique to me.

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strawman
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Re: Spring, Unwinding

Post by strawman » Thu Aug 29, 2013 4:39 pm

Makes me wonder. If Spring is a thing that is wound and so unwinds, then Wint-er and Summ-er must wint and summ, and we should consider whether all are sons of the seas. You have a century to figure how Autumn Falls.
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Varda
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Re: Spring, Unwinding

Post by Varda » Thu Aug 29, 2013 11:08 pm

Steampunk spring! Love it. I'm envisioning this drabble done in the same style as the opening credits to "Game of Thrones".
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Scattercat
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Re: Spring, Unwinding

Post by Scattercat » Fri Aug 30, 2013 7:10 pm

Basically flowers are trying to kill you, is really the core theme of most of my writing.

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Varda
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Re: Spring, Unwinding

Post by Varda » Fri Aug 30, 2013 8:20 pm

Scattercat wrote:Basically flowers are trying to kill you, is really the core theme of most of my writing.
Ah. So you pretty much write nonfiction.
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ROU Killing Time
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Re: Spring, Unwinding

Post by ROU Killing Time » Sat Aug 31, 2013 1:00 am

strawman wrote:Makes me wonder. If Spring is a thing that is wound and so unwinds, then Wint-er and Summ-er must wint and summ, and we should consider whether all are sons of the seas. You have a century to figure how Autumn Falls.
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More important than "How" autumn falls is "Where" it's going to land.

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