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South of Heaven

Posted: Tue Oct 08, 2013 7:30 pm
by Flintknapper
Through the rain of blood, I journey up the mountain of bone. My muscles burn and fail as I climb its insurmountable slopes. I check my compass.

Below, in the haze, ghostly apparitions of those I have wronged cry out in agony. My heart sinks and my conviction falters. I check my compass.

Above, in the sky, horned beasts with bat-like wings herald my doom. Their cacophonous voices shatter my thoughts and I am lost in memories. I check my compass.

I press on. My intentions have led me this far. I check my compass and continue my journey south.

Re: South of Heaven

Posted: Tue Oct 08, 2013 7:32 pm
by Flintknapper
With my moral compass as a guide, the road hell is paved with good intentions.

Re: South of Heaven

Posted: Wed Oct 09, 2013 3:27 am
by strawman
Jack shit. The roads in hell are paved with g-d cobblestones.

Re: South of Heaven

Posted: Wed Oct 09, 2013 3:31 pm
by Flintknapper
Perhaps true, it might be better to go at life without the compass (Bible, Koran, etc...) but most don't.

Re: South of Heaven

Posted: Wed Oct 09, 2013 4:00 pm
by strawman
Sorry, just had to get that cobblestone hate out.
The local townies decided that they were quaint, so replaced the pavement in the entrance to town with cobblestones to gentrify the area.
For my motorbike, this was like installing 2,000 speed bumps. It's literally the road to hell.

I don't know about other compasses, but concerning the Bible, some people read it and come to know the truth; and other people read it and come away with something altogether different.

So it can't be the compass' fault. Maybe folks just have different magnetic poles?

Re: South of Heaven

Posted: Wed Oct 09, 2013 4:50 pm
by Flintknapper
strawman wrote:Sorry, just had to get that cobblestone hate out.
The local townies decided that they were quaint, so replaced the pavement in the entrance to town with cobblestones to gentrify the area.
For my motorbike, this was like installing 2,000 speed bumps. It's literally the road to hell.

I don't know about other compasses, but concerning the Bible, some people read it and come to know the truth; and other people read it and come away with something altogether different.

So it can't be the compass' fault. Maybe folks just have different magnetic poles?
Possibly, but they could also be reading the instrument wrong or have it set to the wrong declination. Or perhaps they just pretend to use it to guide their course. True north is hard to find. There was a good song about it by Bad Religion a year or so ago.... Also I cant lie... raining blood and the title of this story are slayer songs. All three concepts were an influence on writing this drabble...

Re: South of Heaven

Posted: Thu Oct 10, 2013 3:13 pm
by Cwpants
Flintknapper wrote:With my moral compass as a guide, the road hell is paved with good intentions.
I disagree. <--see signature below :P-->

I really like the story. It makes me want to know more about the character. Why would he work so hard to get to hell? I like the idea of the moral compass being portrayed as an actual compass. You paint such vivid images with a small amount of words. Great job.

I did notice some punctuation errors, but it doesn't effect the word count so I guess it isn't a big deal. :)

Great Drabble!

Re: South of Heaven

Posted: Thu Oct 10, 2013 3:48 pm
by Flintknapper
For the punctuation do you mean additional commas? it doesn't come out as wrong in word. Let me know where you would change punctuation.

As for the narrator... for me he is a conquistador and the apparitions are the Native Americans he has killed.... but he could be anyone whose convictions lead him down the path. It is an argument against religious zealotry.

In our modern world it could be a member of a terrorist organization or an abortion clinic bomber. His faith (or compass) guides his action and in the end he (or she) knows where the path will take him, but intends to go down the path regardless.

Re: South of Heaven

Posted: Thu Oct 10, 2013 3:58 pm
by strawman
Everyone seems to have good intentions. Terrorists do not see themselves as terrorists, but as freedom fighters. Depends entirely on POV, right? So some kind of absolute moral law seems to be called for. Something that trumps intentions, like "Thou shalt not kill."

And since it must be absolute, to be impervious to good intentions, mustn't it apply to executing criminals, or drone assassinations, or mentally ill women driving into barricades in the other DC?

Re: South of Heaven

Posted: Thu Oct 10, 2013 4:21 pm
by Cwpants
Though I am not positive, I believe there should be commas after "below" and "above."

Also, the second "up" in the first paragraph seems redundant to me. Though when trying to reach 100 words, I understand it's necessity!

Re: South of Heaven

Posted: Thu Oct 10, 2013 5:33 pm
by Flintknapper
Thanks CW I fixed it.

Re: South of Heaven

Posted: Mon Oct 14, 2013 6:18 pm
by strawman
http://theoatmeal.com/comics/columbus_day

An interesting piece, that concludes with, "But please, oh please do not call it Columbus Day."

It's a strange custom to name days after people. Is the problem that the person is evil, or that the myth glosses over his evil? If Columbus is responsible for the African slave trade that followed him, then I guess the principle is that the smaller evils born in our hearts make us all responsible for the greater evils that they propagate in the future. Maybe worth consideration?

If Santayana was right that those who forget are doomed to repeat, what is it that would most profit us to remember?