Simulacrum (Simulations) I guess

100 word stories. Post all you like, maybe we'll dip in and use yours?
Post Reply
User avatar
phyx
Member
Posts: 26
Joined: Fri Sep 13, 2013 3:33 pm

Simulacrum (Simulations) I guess

Post by phyx »

“I’m sorry. I truly am. It’s just not working out,” Nynyan said, choking back the tears that were welling up in his eyes. He thought about the time he put into her... the labor... the training.

“...but I’ve done everything you’ve asked of me. I have given you everything: physically... emotionally... sexually. What more do you want? I look like her. I smell like her. I taste like her. I’m everything you asked for and more. Please... I love you.”

“You do not have her soul, and a simulacrum will not do”

And with that statement, he flipped the switch.



*fixed with the Man of Straw's suggestions.
~nobody of consequence
User avatar
strawman
Member
Posts: 5966
Joined: Sat Oct 20, 2007 2:20 pm
Location: South Georgia

Re: Simulacrum (Simulations) I guess

Post by strawman »

phyx wrote:“But you haven’t her soul and a simulacrum will not do”
I think the contraction weakens the sentence. Make up the word count at
but I’ve done everything you’ve ever asked of me
. No need for 'ever'. Also comma after 'soul', please.

Finally, a question. Are you terminating her by flipping the switch? Or, since she's only a simulacrum, maybe you can 'terminate' her just by turning out the light?
Never judge anyone until you have biopsied their brain.

"Be kind, for everyone is fighting a hard battle."
Known Some Call Is Air Am
Spoiler:
Non sum qualis eram = "I am not who I will be"
User avatar
phyx
Member
Posts: 26
Joined: Fri Sep 13, 2013 3:33 pm

Re: Simulacrum (Simulations) I guess

Post by phyx »

Thank you for the input. I agree with both suggestions. I suppose I should take a minute and edit sometimes, before posting, rather than just trusting that I can ramble off 100 words and call it good.

As far as your question, the 'switch' turns on the light.

I was envisioning a sad man, consistently being turned away by the woman he thinks fell in love with. He has intelligence, but not the ability to utilize it to create success or woo a woman. He chooses to be in a simulated dream world. The 'switch' wasn't literal. He was saying, "goodbye," to a dream.

I felt, that whether it was a mechanical, matrix-like, or literal dream state seemed irrelevant.

I was tempted to go with 'doppelganger', but landed on 'simulacrum'.
~nobody of consequence
User avatar
strawman
Member
Posts: 5966
Joined: Sat Oct 20, 2007 2:20 pm
Location: South Georgia

Re: Simulacrum (Simulations) I guess

Post by strawman »

Until I was about 10 years old, I could continue a night's dream on the next night, so I literally had two lives. It was awfully hard going back and forth from being a superhero to a 6th grader.

I would wake up by blinking my eyes; and in my dream, I made a little ceremony of it, explaining to my friends that I was now going to disappear, but would be back with them again at the end of the earth day.
Never judge anyone until you have biopsied their brain.

"Be kind, for everyone is fighting a hard battle."
Known Some Call Is Air Am
Spoiler:
Non sum qualis eram = "I am not who I will be"
User avatar
Cwpants
Member
Posts: 84
Joined: Tue Sep 10, 2013 11:54 pm
Location: Wisconsin

Re: Simulacrum (Simulations) I guess

Post by Cwpants »

strawman wrote:Until I was about 10 years old, I could continue a night's dream on the next night, so I literally had two lives. It was awfully hard going back and forth from being a superhero to a 6th grader.

I would wake up by blinking my eyes; and in my dream, I made a little ceremony of it, explaining to my friends that I was now going to disappear, but would be back with them again at the end of the earth day.
Maybe you are a trans-dimensional being. When you were ten you lost the ability to travel across the void. Your super friends are very worried about you, sir!
C.W. Pants

“The road to hell is paved with adverbs.”
― Stephen King, On Writing
User avatar
strawman
Member
Posts: 5966
Joined: Sat Oct 20, 2007 2:20 pm
Location: South Georgia

Re: Simulacrum (Simulations) I guess

Post by strawman »

Cwpants wrote:
strawman wrote: Your super friends are very worried about you, sir!
I was the only one with super powers. I worried about them. But then I realized hell, if they really wanted to be friends, why didn't they ever blink their eyes and come along?

More likely, they probably got tired of my condescending super attitude, and locked the portal.
Never judge anyone until you have biopsied their brain.

"Be kind, for everyone is fighting a hard battle."
Known Some Call Is Air Am
Spoiler:
Non sum qualis eram = "I am not who I will be"
User avatar
phyx
Member
Posts: 26
Joined: Fri Sep 13, 2013 3:33 pm

Re: Simulacrum (Simulations) I guess

Post by phyx »

I can still manage to force myself to dream about just about anything. I'm not, by any means, a lucid dreamer. Hell, I have trouble believing that's even possible. But, if I think about something and focus on it as I drift to sleep, I apparently continue to focus on it throughout the night.

On a completely unrelated note. I have a lot of adult dreams.
~nobody of consequence
User avatar
Varda
Connor Choadsworth Defender
Posts: 1383
Joined: Wed Apr 10, 2013 5:41 pm
Location: Athens, Georgia
Contact:

Re: Simulacrum (Simulations) I guess

Post by Varda »

strawman wrote:
Cwpants wrote:
strawman wrote: Your super friends are very worried about you, sir!
I was the only one with super powers. I worried about them. But then I realized hell, if they really wanted to be friends, why didn't they ever blink their eyes and come along?

More likely, they probably got tired of my condescending super attitude, and locked the portal.
You say that now, but boy will your face be red when you kick the bucket on this mortal plane and wake up over there and realize we were all a dream, all along...
phyx wrote:On a completely unrelated note. I have a lot of adult dreams.
Yeah, I dream about paying the bills and getting the oil changed sometimes too. :P
Medical Microfiction: Stories about Science

Drabblescout Badges:
Merits: Twabble Author (5), Drabble Author (4), DRIP Slave Volunteer (2), Whittling (1), Macaroni Crafts (2)
Demerits: Redd*t Rouser (2), Whittler's Mother (6)
Post Reply