Happy Birthday!

100 word stories. Post all you like, maybe we'll dip in and use yours?
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Varda
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Happy Birthday!

Post by Varda » Sat Feb 22, 2014 9:43 pm

Today I congratulate you on another successful trip around the sun!

May your next trip be better
faster
wilder
so you have to dig your nails into the dirt as the orbit rolls on
all seven billion of us screaming
in harmony as the planets stream past…
one! two! eight!
…the trees torched by friction
the windowpanes shattered
the Rockies worn down to nubs
us huddled in our bomb shelters praying for mercy…

...and when you wake up on your birthday next year,
we’ll say
“My, how the year flew by
and anyway weren’t we just celebrating your birthday yesterday?”
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gunsofchekhovia
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Re: Happy Birthday!

Post by gunsofchekhovia » Sun Feb 23, 2014 10:23 pm

I like it, but I'm not sure I get it. The "one! two! eight!" concerns me. I don't know what that's referring to.

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strawman
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Re: Happy Birthday!

Post by strawman » Sun Feb 23, 2014 10:44 pm

The sense I get is that Birthdays are fun like a spinning top, sped up to the speed of light, obliterated by inertial forces, until it slows a moment later to find that it's four years later.

I could almost visualize this idea popping out of Varda's Temporal Lobe.
Nice.
Never judge anyone until you have biopsied their brain.

"Be kind, for everyone is fighting a hard battle."
Known Some Call Is Air Am
Spoiler:
Non sum qualis eram = "I am not who I will be"

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Varda
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Re: Happy Birthday!

Post by Varda » Sun Feb 23, 2014 11:15 pm

strawman wrote:The sense I get is that Birthdays are fun like a spinning top, sped up to the speed of light, obliterated by inertial forces, until it slows a moment later to find that it's four years later.

I could almost visualize this idea popping out of Varda's Temporal Lobe.
Nice.
Yup! I can't get one past you, Strawdude! :)

I was thinking about how every year seems to go faster. Also, I wanted to write a Drabblecast-y birthday card-type sentiment for future use. Because you never know when you might need to wish someone happy birthday in an extraordinarily strange fashion, amiright? ;)

I'll explain the joke behind a spoiler in case anyone prefers their own version:
Spoiler:
A birthday commemorates being a year older. A year is defined as 1 trip around the sun. So if in all the crazy birthday-wishing, you got your wish for one wild year, what if the Earth took off and made an orbit in a single day? You'd wake up the next morning, and you would technically be a year older!

The counting midway through is the other planets flying past at increasing velocity. :D
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strawman
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Re: Happy Birthday!

Post by strawman » Tue Feb 25, 2014 12:35 pm

My theory is that felt time is a ratio of total experiences. You experience your first year as the longest, because your time/experiences ratio is 1/1. The temporal numerator is one each year, while the experience denominator increases by 1. So year two, 1/2 seems to pass twice as quickly as year one. By year 50, time has apparently accelerated to 1/50. Your year's experience is only 1/50 of your total experience, which is an apparent augenblick. This is an immutable law of nature.

Jim Morrison, Philip Seymour Hoffman and others tried to counter this death spiral by attempting to concentrate life, experience a month's worth every day. That's why they call it a "rush".

But everything works against you. Your second rose is not as beautiful as your first. Every first experience is unique. Soon, the rose has a name, and its memory has a familiar location in your brain. The effect of familiarity is a petit mort.

That is the reason for our cutting edge experiments with our grandchild, inspired by a game of Peek-a-Boo. If you cover your eyes for an increasing period of time between Boos, the element of shock can actually be sustained without a significant drop-off. Of course, once you reach the point of covering your eyes for more than a few minutes, the subject gets distracted, so you need to add elements, such as jumping out of closets. We must keep in mind the possible negative consequences of over 50% of one's total experiences in the first year being boos as opposed to peeks.

But one thing is certain. Too soon, his experience of peek-a-boo will be, "Oh, it's just Grampa."
Never judge anyone until you have biopsied their brain.

"Be kind, for everyone is fighting a hard battle."
Known Some Call Is Air Am
Spoiler:
Non sum qualis eram = "I am not who I will be"

Fiasco
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Re: Happy Birthday!

Post by Fiasco » Tue Feb 25, 2014 10:38 pm

I love it! Astronomical angles are great. It has a very nice rhythm to it and if someone sent that to me on my birthday I'd be pleased as punch.

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MonsieurMoustache
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Re: Happy Birthday!

Post by MonsieurMoustache » Thu Mar 27, 2014 12:35 pm

Oh, let that be a greeting card! I'll draw an illustration and everything. By the way, I'm back.

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Varda
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Re: Happy Birthday!

Post by Varda » Thu Mar 27, 2014 10:00 pm

MONSIEUR!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WELCOME BACK! How've you been, my friend?!

I am so happy right now. YES, LET'S GREETING CARD IT!
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Thomas Daulton
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Re: Happy Birthday!

Post by Thomas Daulton » Sat Mar 29, 2014 12:56 am

Greeting card is a great idea!

A friend of mine wrote a poem once about how time speeds up as you get older. I'm not sure I can find a copy but I remember his last line was, "I'm content to sit at home and watch the snails race by." Kind-of the opposite take on Varda's imagery. Interesting how two different authors can take the same concept and treat it in opposite ways.

But Varda, this was a cool read!
"All that is gold does not glitter; not all those that wander are lost." --J.R.R. TOLKIEN

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