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The Beer Wolf

Posted: Thu Mar 27, 2014 5:01 am
by Thomas Daulton
The "Beer Wolf" (Lobo fermentibulus), originating from northern Europe, like other human-associated scavengers is now ubiquitous, living at the fringes of human settlements across the globe. Stealthy and shrewd, this small quadruped only selects prey whose perceptions and defenses have been dulled by an intoxicant, typically alcohol. The Beer Wolf rarely kills its prey, since its nutritional needs are very modest. Instead, the typical evidence of a visit from The Beer Wolf is indirect, and noted only the following morning, in the form of unexplained cuts and bruises mysteriously acquired during the period of intoxication despite no memory of trauma.

Re: The Beer Wolf

Posted: Thu Mar 27, 2014 5:45 am
by Cwpants
Hahahaha!

That explains so much! :P

Great job :)

Re: The Beer Wolf (Cryptozoology theme)

Posted: Thu Mar 27, 2014 4:12 pm
by Thomas Daulton
Glad somebody "got it"! One of my drinking buddies coined the phrase, when you wake up with unexplained bruises the next day. I just thought it would be funny to write up the concept in a taxonomic textbook style. Hey Drabblecast gurus, let's have another Cryptozoology episode!

Re: The Beer Wolf

Posted: Thu Mar 27, 2014 4:25 pm
by Cwpants
Well, I thought it was clever and very fun to read :)

Re: The Beer Wolf

Posted: Thu Mar 27, 2014 4:30 pm
by Thomas Daulton
I bet a lot of Forumites will suddenly realize, "Hey, I've been visited by The Beer Wolf too!" Ahhh, the sense of community...

Re: The Beer Wolf

Posted: Thu Mar 27, 2014 5:20 pm
by Cwpants
Hmm...can you explain the ridiculous creature that crawls into my brain and mucks things up when I've fallen for someone? Lol

Re: The Beer Wolf

Posted: Thu Mar 27, 2014 8:10 pm
by strawman
Oh, you mean Cupid's idiot brother, Stupid.

Re: The Beer Wolf

Posted: Thu Mar 27, 2014 8:12 pm
by Cwpants
That's the one!

Re: The Beer Wolf

Posted: Thu Mar 27, 2014 8:20 pm
by Thomas Daulton
Ahhh, Strawman, I always knew you were an expert cryptozoologist!! Thanks for clearing that up! :D

Re: The Beer Wolf

Posted: Thu Mar 27, 2014 9:25 pm
by strawman
Nothing crypto about Stupid.
Dude gets around.

Re: The Beer Wolf

Posted: Thu Mar 27, 2014 9:59 pm
by Varda
Everything about this thread rocks my face off. :D

Does the Beer Wolf come in breeds? Because I think I'm gonna pay a visit to the Stout Bernard tonight...

Re: The Beer Wolf

Posted: Thu Mar 27, 2014 10:28 pm
by Thomas Daulton
^^ Everything Varda said! :lol:

Re: The Beer Wolf

Posted: Sat Mar 29, 2014 2:48 am
by Scattercat
Are we certain it doesn't eat dignity?

Re: The Beer Wolf

Posted: Sat Mar 29, 2014 9:23 am
by Thomas Daulton
Excellent question, 'cat! I don't think the answer is known. Most field cryptozoologists tend to leave their Dignitometers behind in the lab. Something about their profession bollixes the readings.

Re: The Beer Wolf

Posted: Sat Mar 29, 2014 11:07 am
by strawman
Yes, the act of observation changes the direction or velocity of the thing observed.
This accounts for much bruising.
The Heineken Uncertainty Principle.

Re: The Beer Wolf

Posted: Sat Mar 29, 2014 1:17 pm
by Varda
Was visited by das Bier Wulf last night. Observational reports confirm that it does, indeed, eat dignity.

Unrelated note: why's it so bright in here? :?