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The Miser & The Lapidary: A Drabble Duet

Posted: Tue Jul 14, 2009 11:24 am
by ROU Killing Time
“The Miser”
__________

“Damn it, where is it??” Martin swore as he tore apart the room in a vain attempt to find what had been lost.

He searched since Chloe, the brat next door, had come round trying to sell him that cheap rock on a string for a dollar, shoving it into his hands.

Martin told her to leave him alone. “I’ve better things to do with my time than fill your greedy purse. Now, off with you!”

Stopping in his search to regard his reflection in the mirror he saw so clearly, by it’s absence, that he was missing his soul.

*****

“The Lapidary”
____________

Jennifer stopped at the old house and read the sandwich sign placed in front.

“Sale: Estate of Chloe Morgenson, 1918-2009″

Stepping in through the opened door she smelled scents of a lifetime of favorites. Cinnamon from the kitchen rose oil emanating from the upholstery.

She moved from room to room regarding the various curios and heirlooms collected over a lifetime but stopped at a cigar box set on the corner of a table.

Mesmerized and enchanted by the strange evanescent glow coming from the agates contained within.

Each one tied to a string with a small price tag marked $1.

_____
(edited: to remove gerund abuse...)

Posted: Tue Jul 14, 2009 3:48 pm
by Mr. Tweedy
I like it. Nice how you didn't quite say what's going on.

It's definitely two chapters of the same story, though: The second makes no sense without the first.

Posted: Tue Jul 14, 2009 5:06 pm
by ROU Killing Time
Thanks for the comment. Have to admit I played a bit fast and loose with the form, (hence the Duet) but I hope it works. I guess it would be a bit more structurally sound if both parts stood alone and conveyed the same level of "meaning" but all in all, I'm very happy with the way the linkage between the two turned out.

Posted: Thu Jul 16, 2009 1:22 am
by tbaker2500
Chloe is someone to stay away from!! She lived 91 years, must've had some friends? There's a lot more here.

Posted: Thu Jul 16, 2009 2:11 am
by ROU Killing Time
tbaker2500 wrote:Chloe is someone to stay away from!! She lived 91 years, must've had some friends? There's a lot more here.
Just the sort of speculation I was hoping might be invoked.

Plus, what about all those other agates?

Posted: Sun Jul 26, 2009 3:18 pm
by ROU Killing Time
Mr. Tweedy wrote:I like it. Nice how you didn't quite say what's going on.

It's definitely two chapters of the same story, though: The second makes no sense without the first.
I've come up with a good defense of this. First, the post after "7 deadly drabble' encouraging authors to use the drabble form creatively.

More importantly, as in a musical duet, the first drabble would comprise the primary part or melody. Yes, the melody can stand alone, but does not have it's full impact or meaning without the secondary part to harmonize against it. In a musical duet the harmony will not stand alone, typically, as will the melody.

So, if you take "The Miser" as the melody of this duet and "The Lapidary" as the harmony I think it's pretty structurally sound as an analog to the musical duet.

(wipes boots clean and leaves the room...)

Posted: Sun Jul 26, 2009 3:41 pm
by tbaker2500
Why do you need a good defense? Innovate, baby!