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Hope

Posted: Tue Jul 15, 2014 1:05 am
by tehmedus
I took another step forward. The motorized spike nudging into my back demanded it. The mad man watching at a safe distance as the spike in front of me grew one step closer. The shackles on my wrists and feet negated any chance for escape. He smiled whenever I moved forward.

She was waiting in the cell for her turn. He didn't know about the tunnel. She only needed a few more minutes to escape. No more steps left. The spike pierced my chest, the other bored into my back. He laughed.

I hope he laughed for a long time.

Re: Hope

Posted: Sat Jul 19, 2014 2:30 pm
by bounceswoosh
Twisted. I like it. I think I would like it better with names instead of all the pronouns.

Re: Hope

Posted: Sat Jul 19, 2014 4:24 pm
by tehmedus
I thought about doing names, but decided that the reader can put that in for themselves. Makes it a bit more personal.

Re: Hope

Posted: Sat Jul 19, 2014 6:05 pm
by strawman
Yeah, if you're going for people imagining the spikes, you gotta make it personal.
Good call.