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Pursuit?

Posted: Wed Sep 24, 2014 7:33 pm
by pondspider
My first Drabble... be gentle :)

In a shadowy doorway, his heart pounding, he wheezed for air. Had he outrun his pursuers?

Nonchalantly, he joined a nearby crowd of revellers. His destination wasn’t far, but he knew his adversary too well to allow any premature sense of relief.

Rounding a corner, he saw three of them, tall and conspicuously immobile amongst the milling crowd. Retracing his steps wasn’t an option. He must press on.

Several fearful minutes later he had passed the danger, unscathed.

As he reached the entrance and stepped wearily inside, he wondered how much longer he could evade the minions of Theresa Green.

Re: Pursuit?

Posted: Wed Sep 24, 2014 9:14 pm
by Caustic Reverie
I like the sense of tension but found it too vague. Is the name Theresa Green a reference to something else? Maybe that's why this isn't clicking for me.

Re: Pursuit?

Posted: Wed Sep 24, 2014 11:17 pm
by unseentangerine
I give this a -3 for not knowing who Theresa Green is, +2 for being well written (regardless of being your first!), and +2 for your profile image. Your combined total is: +1! Nice job.

Re: Pursuit?

Posted: Thu Sep 25, 2014 2:09 am
by MonsieurMoustache
Ah yes, the Theresa Green of University of Calgary fame, an Associate Professor in the Faculty of Nursing, and an Adjunct Assistant Professor with the Faculty of Medicine (Clinical Neurosciences).

I'm actually from Calgary myself, and I'm glad her legend has become international.

Well composed drabble, but I feel like it's more of a beginning then a self-contained story. Theresa Green feels like a punchline, but I'm afraid it's somewhat inscrutable.

Theresa...Green... a metaphor? A celebrity?
Is it a pun?
There-is-a Green? Is 'Green' code for an environmental activist? Is this a future world ruled by tree-huggers? Is our narrator a criminal lumberjack on the run from the ecopolice?

Actually that is a kinda fun idea.

Re: Pursuit?

Posted: Fri Sep 26, 2014 11:06 am
by pondspider
Theresa Green .... trees are green ;)

Re: Pursuit?

Posted: Fri Sep 26, 2014 11:09 am
by pondspider
MonsieurMoustache wrote:...Is this a future world ruled by tree-huggers? Is our narrator a criminal lumberjack on the run from the ecopolice?

Actually that is a kinda fun idea.
Now you've got me thinking... ;)

Re: Pursuit?

Posted: Fri Sep 26, 2014 12:09 pm
by SpareInch
pondspider wrote:Theresa Green .... trees are green ;)
Well. I got it. I guess England's State Education system really is a cut above the rest. ;)