The Walk Home

[unreliable narrator]

Although it was late I decided to take a shortcut home through the park. It was poorly lit but seemed deserted so I had no qualms as I turned down the path and headed west. I had walked maybe a few hundred yards when I sensed something and stopped. To my right lay an open playing field, in the centre of which, a figure stood motionless staring up at the night sky. Its head turned slowly towards me, our eyes locked, and the menace of that moment was trapped in my memory like an ant in amber.

Then I ran.

[MonsieurMoustache]

A very nice moment. I like these drabbles which tell stories of moments. It reminds me of those stories people tell when they've hardly a story at all - just a moment or two in their lives they can't fully explain.

[strawman]

I agree.
However, the last line reminds me of "Then I woke up". Going from memory trap to running is kinda, IDK, "nonorganic". I'd prefer something like "The menace of that moment was fixed in my memory like an ant in amber, while I ran."

[unseentangerine]

I think, "And I ran." is gooder. anyone who has read my scrawlings knows I like to begin with And. But really, any opportunity to quoth Flock of Seagulls, right?

[unreliable narrator]

Thanks for your comments guys. All practical criticism welcome. I'm new to Drabbling and hopefully learning as I go!