Pride Cometh...

100 word stories. Post all you like, maybe we'll dip in and use yours?
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Varis
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Pride Cometh...

Post by Varis » Fri Sep 18, 2009 9:36 am

I am Lucifer, the Light of God. What is light but a revealer of truth?

Frustratingly, there remains a shadow my light has yet to unveil:

Was God always God?

What a mystery! If He had not always been God, then what was He before? Was there another? If so, what caused the succession?

More intriguing, if He had not always been God, then it must be possible to become God! If so, then I am certainly the most worthy. If I cannot attain Godhood, then it simply cannot be done!

Succeed or fail, I will reveal this grandest truth.

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strawman
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Re: Pride Cometh...

Post by strawman » Fri Sep 18, 2009 12:56 pm

His mother probably taught him the Whittier poem:

For of all sad words of tongue or pen,
the saddest are these: 'It might have been ...


And whereas one might easily see how this would get Satan into a world of trouble, isn't it a good thing that the Drabblecast authors and forum members have resolved to explore and animate every conceivable might-have-been?
Never judge anyone until you have biopsied their brain.

"Be kind, for everyone is fighting a hard battle."
Known Some Call Is Air Am
Spoiler:
Non sum qualis eram = "I am not who I will be"

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Mr. Tweedy
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Re: Pride Cometh...

Post by Mr. Tweedy » Fri Sep 18, 2009 2:04 pm

Satan considers himself a scientist? Nice twist. I like the idea of Satan explaining that he's really a good person.

Delivery is flat, though. Give us some buildup.
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Varis
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Re: Pride Cometh...

Post by Varis » Fri Sep 18, 2009 3:37 pm

I wish I could've given a bit more build-up. Originally, this was a little over 300 words, but I wanted to challenge myself to fit it into 100 for the drabble requirement. It's tough to edit out over 200 words and still get your point across, lol.

I just learned about both the podcast and this forum yesterday from a friend of mine, and am enjoying both very much. There's so much talent and fun ideas here; it's great!

The idea for this story came from some work I'm doing related to various fallen angels. I basically posed myself the simple question, "why?" It is also worth noting that, for my story purposes, I'm treating Satan and Lucifer as two different angels.

Anyway, thank you both for the comments. I might try to whip up another drabble over the weekend (this time from scratch instead of simply cutting something down that I'd already written). :D

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Mr. Tweedy
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Re: Pride Cometh...

Post by Mr. Tweedy » Fri Sep 18, 2009 3:49 pm

It would be pretty easy to do buildup. Just don't reveal the name of narrator until the last sentence. Start talking about the mysteries of the universe, the importance and the joy of discovery, the fact that some things can only be discovered by experimentation. Then go into the one great experiment that must be performed to discern the true nature of the universe. Finally reveal that the speaker is Lucifer and the experiment is dethroning God and/or destroying the universe. It would work in 100 words.
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Varis
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Re: Pride Cometh...

Post by Varis » Sat Sep 19, 2009 5:42 am

Hmm... That's an interesting idea. I didn't even think of turning it into a surprise ending kinda thing when writing it. It was more just serving the purpose of helping me wrap my head around the character (I'm working on a much larger writing project involving Lucifer and other angels - both fallen and not).

Very good advice. I'll definitely give that approach a try when I get a chance.

Thanks again.

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ROU Killing Time
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Re: Pride Cometh... (A Drabble)

Post by ROU Killing Time » Sat Sep 19, 2009 9:30 am

Yo Luci, what's with the flowery language, dude? It's the 21st century, ya know.
(Note to self: stop saying “dude”)
“Was God always God?”
Short answer; yup.
Infinite void; an eternity with nothing to stop Me from being.
So I made a universe filled with sentient beings (shrug.)
Sue Me.
Will I always be?
Unless I decide not to be, and that doesn't seem likely, so yes there too.
But why would you want to be God?
Being worshiped can get embarrassing and people saying you don't exist?
Well that can hurt a guy's feelings.
Peace out,
God
"Never fuck with The Culture"
Sublime In Peace Iain M. Banks.

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Varis
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Re: Pride Cometh...

Post by Varis » Tue Sep 22, 2009 8:41 am

LOL! I love it. Strangely, I have the voice and expression of Rodney Dangerfield in my head narrating that, ROU. Maybe just add a "no respect..." after the hurt feelings bit, and it would be near-perfect. :D

Anyway, here's my new version of the drabble, inspired by Mr. Tweedy's suggestion:

From the oceans to the stars, and the heavens beyond, I have shed light upon the unknown. No secret or truth has escaped my enlightened gaze… none save but one.

One truth does defy me. One secret unacceptably hides away. One final question to answer: Was God always God?

I must uncover this secret, do what I was made to do. This shall be my grandest experiment, to strive to become God. Should I fail, then it can’t be done, for none other than I is more worthy.

He will surely understand, for I am His Light…

I am Lucifer.

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