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Fuel Efficiency

Posted: Sun Sep 27, 2009 1:01 am
by WrenJ
When it was announced that scientists had found a way to accelerate fossilization, the public was intrigued.

When scientists began experimenting with human remains, they were stunned.

It only took a few months for the first government mandated exhumations to begin. Protests were organized. “Keep your greed off my bones!” signs read.

But gas prices were high.

Three months after the exhumations, cremation was outlawed. Anti-burial laws soon followed. Facilities were built across the country to accommodate the excess human fossil fuels.

Some still resisted, but the energy crisis had been solved not by violence, but by science.

Thanks, Grandma.

Re: Fuel Efficiency

Posted: Sun Sep 27, 2009 1:56 am
by strawman
Gimme a break. What's the most you expect from Grandma? My guess is 4-6 mpg at best. About the same as recouping the 76 cents worth of chemicals in the human body by selling them at the Dollar store.
Better to defossilize anyone with a BMI of 30+, smokers, alcoholics, drug addicts, and other politicians. This might not improve mileage, but it would sure increase fahrvergnügen.

Re: Fuel Efficiency

Posted: Mon Oct 05, 2009 10:26 pm
by tbaker2500
Hee hee, good story WrenJ. Welcome to the forums.