Simon says

100 word stories. Post all you like, maybe we'll dip in and use yours?
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Phenopath
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Simon says

Post by Phenopath » Sat Nov 14, 2009 7:16 pm

For as long as I can remember I have ignored the voices in my head. Wicked little voices inciting me to violence and murder, suicide and mutilation.

"Push that old lady in front of the bus," they whisper.

But I do not listen to them. I close my eyes and think of something else, or I ask them politely to stop.

But recently the voices have changed, and try as I might I am finding it harder to resist them. With tears in my eyes, desperate for peace, I reach for the phone.

"Vote for John and Edward," they whine.
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Re: Simon says

Post by Phenopath » Sat Nov 14, 2009 7:20 pm

This one is a little provincial, perhaps only of interest to British and Irish drabble fans. However it furthers the hypothesis that Simon Cowell's success derives from widespread mental health problems.

I would welcome assistance translating this into American.
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Re: Simon says

Post by eric_marsh » Sat Nov 14, 2009 7:36 pm

My first take was that you said "vote for John Edwards." He dropped out of the race a year ago. I double checked your posting date and then double checked your text.

I like your reference to the wicked little voices.
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Re: Simon says

Post by dreamrock » Sat Nov 14, 2009 9:36 pm

I had the same first take as Eric did, excepting that I didn't think it was a post from the past. I'm not that smart at this time of the morning (yeah, I know it's not technically morning, but I just woke up so ...).

Even though it lends itself to American misunderstanding, the message is fairly much the same since both British Idol (or whatever you awesome folks call it there - Wave at the Doctor for me if you see him) and American politicians use marketing means to foist themselves on culture. If you had used American Idol names, I wouldn't have known who you were talking about anyway. :D

The idea that the psychic efforts of the marketing squad are harder to resist than those of a disturbed schizophrenic mind is pretty damned shiny if you ask me.
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Re: Simon says

Post by Phenopath » Sun Nov 15, 2009 12:31 am

Thanks dreamrock.

For context here is the BS that we have to put up with....

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/8345696.stm" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false

and here are the twerps in question...

Image
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Re: Simon says

Post by dreamrock » Sun Nov 15, 2009 12:36 am

Phenopath wrote:and here are the twerps in question...

Image
:cry: You have chavs and these guys? My condolences.
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Algernon Sydney is Dead
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Re: Simon says

Post by Algernon Sydney is Dead » Sun Nov 15, 2009 5:03 am

eric_marsh wrote:My first take was that you said "vote for John Edwards." He dropped out of the race a year ago. I double checked your posting date and then double checked your text.

I like your reference to the wicked little voices.
Ditto and Ditto. If you just reversed the names it would help.

Replacing the last line with something like:
"Place your TV show vote," they whine.
...might make it clearer and more universal

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Re: Simon says

Post by ROU Killing Time » Sun Nov 15, 2009 7:14 am

Algernon Sydney is Dead wrote:
eric_marsh wrote:My first take was that you said "vote for John Edwards." He dropped out of the race a year ago. I double checked your posting date and then double checked your text.

I like your reference to the wicked little voices.
Ditto and Ditto. If you just reversed the names it would help.

Replacing the last line with something like:
"Place your TV show vote," they whine.
...might make it clearer and more universal
Yes, and remember, over here in the states, we are "blessed" with Simon's presence on American Idol. A show I refuse to watch unless Norm decides to get really strange and audition. Imagine the panels reaction to "Daddy drinks because you cry"
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Re: Simon says

Post by m_a_kelly » Sun Nov 15, 2009 11:22 pm

If Norm goes on the show, it would be the first and probably only time I watched it. I can't wait for this meme to spin itself silly and die a sudden, silent (YES!) death.

Nice drabble, Pheno. I didn't get the references either, but knew it must have been the British version of AI, when you mentioned Cowell. I went to the link you provided and now I feel your pain. Fight those voices. You can do it.
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Re: Simon says

Post by strawman » Mon Nov 16, 2009 5:41 am

Sure would be helpful (and interesting) if everyone would add their location in their profile.
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Re: Simon says

Post by dreamrock » Mon Nov 16, 2009 6:26 am

strawman wrote:Sure would be helpful (and interesting) if everyone would add their location in their profile.
Done. And so you don't have to go out of your way, it's Raleigh, NC USA for me. Though I still submit that my language is UK English.
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Re: Simon says

Post by Phenopath » Thu Dec 17, 2009 8:48 pm

This clip combines two of my favourite things; X Factor and swearing...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vuIa5NoPH9c" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false

Beautiful.
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