Apocalypse

100 word stories. Post all you like, maybe we'll dip in and use yours?
juliasd
Member
Posts: 51
Joined: Sun Nov 29, 2009 5:25 pm
Location: Los Angeles, CA

Apocalypse

Post by juliasd » Tue Dec 01, 2009 1:01 am

When the zombie apocalypse came, no one noticed. The living were too busy staring at holos and using recreational drugs to pay attention to the shambling dead. The zombies decided the living should show more interest, so they recorded their activities, posting everything online. They set up newscasts, showing what was happening around the living, demonstrating the end of the world. The general consensus on these videos was that the graphics were okay, but a bit too pixilated. As a last resort, the zombies tried to eat brains, but were once again thwarted. All heads were empty – rotted from within.

User avatar
Algernon Sydney is Dead
Moderator
Posts: 3514
Joined: Thu Oct 16, 2008 11:22 pm
Location: PRK (California)

Re: Apocalypse

Post by Algernon Sydney is Dead » Tue Dec 01, 2009 1:11 am

Good one!
We all know that real video will soon be panned for the Hollywood version. :)

Two small complaints...
(1) This is a "wall" of text -- very off-putting. Add paragraph breaks, maybe:
When the zombie apocalypse came, no one noticed. The living were too busy staring at holos and using recreational drugs to pay attention to the shambling dead.

The zombies decided the living should show more interest, so they recorded their activities, posting everything online. They set up newscasts, showing what was happening around the living, demonstrating the end of the world.

The general consensus on these videos was that the graphics were okay, but a bit too pixilated. As a last resort, the zombies tried to eat brains, but were once again thwarted. All heads were empty – rotted from within.
(2) The title is too vague and general. Change it to something like: "The Apocalypse will be televised".
The point is, you want something distinctive enough, so that readers will remember it and be able to search for it.

User avatar
ROU Killing Time
Notorious Forum Hog
Posts: 4253
Joined: Sun Feb 01, 2009 10:07 pm
Location: Portland, OR

Re: Apocalypse

Post by ROU Killing Time » Tue Dec 01, 2009 1:34 am

Or "Apocalypse Arrives!: Film at 11:00" something like that. A good title is 1/2 the drabble.

I like the bit about the zombies being smarter than your average media watcher, but I'm dismayed that post two is a drabble. I mean it was fine when you were horning in on Algernon's turf, but the drabble forum is my hiz-ouse (or used to be back in the day...)

Just kidding, of course. Welcome to the forum. It's always nice to have some fresh blood around, and with brains.

I love brains. Mmmm, with blood gravy.

/drool
"Never fuck with The Culture"
Sublime In Peace Iain M. Banks.

juliasd
Member
Posts: 51
Joined: Sun Nov 29, 2009 5:25 pm
Location: Los Angeles, CA

Re: Apocalypse

Post by juliasd » Tue Dec 01, 2009 4:43 pm

Algernon Sydney is Dead wrote: (1) This is a "wall" of text -- very off-putting. Add paragraph breaks
My excuses for bad formatting are: I'm new and I was so excited to get the story to 100 words (and not an infuriating 101) that I just posted it.

So…thanks for the advice! In future, I'll format better. :)
Algernon Sydney is Dead wrote: (2) The title is too vague and general. Change it to something like: "The Apocalypse will be televised".
The point is, you want something distinctive enough, so that readers will remember it and be able to search for it.
Titles and I are old, old enemies. I tried to combat them once, but when I heard "Finish her", from a deep, omnipresent voice, I ran away.

What do you think of: "Zombies Try for an Orderly Apocalypse" or "How to Thwart the Zombie Apocalypse" or "Fox TV Correspondant Warns of Zombie Attacks: Finally Something True".

(Sorry if these are lame and pretentious, but it's way too early in the morning for my brain to operate properly.)

juliasd
Member
Posts: 51
Joined: Sun Nov 29, 2009 5:25 pm
Location: Los Angeles, CA

Re: Apocalypse

Post by juliasd » Tue Dec 01, 2009 4:47 pm

ROU Killing Time wrote:Welcome to the forum. It's always nice to have some fresh blood around, and with brains.
Thanks so much! I only recently found The Drabblecast, but I've now listened to every episode not in archives and am working on getting the archived stuff out of it's dusty little storage space and onto my iPod. It's an awesome podcast! :)

User avatar
ROU Killing Time
Notorious Forum Hog
Posts: 4253
Joined: Sun Feb 01, 2009 10:07 pm
Location: Portland, OR

Re: Apocalypse

Post by ROU Killing Time » Tue Dec 01, 2009 5:01 pm

juliasd wrote:
ROU Killing Time wrote:Welcome to the forum. It's always nice to have some fresh blood around, and with brains.
Thanks so much! I only recently found The Drabblecast, but I've now listened to every episode not in archives and am working on getting the archived stuff out of it's dusty little storage space and onto my iPod. It's an awesome podcast! :)
Of course, we all agree.

Again, from one newcomer to another, felicitations.

Believe it or not, I'm a newcomer too, relatively speaking, compared to the old guard of Strawman, St.Tom, Tweedy, and Phenopath. (I just type a lot.)
"Never fuck with The Culture"
Sublime In Peace Iain M. Banks.

User avatar
Algernon Sydney is Dead
Moderator
Posts: 3514
Joined: Thu Oct 16, 2008 11:22 pm
Location: PRK (California)

Re: Apocalypse

Post by Algernon Sydney is Dead » Tue Dec 01, 2009 11:30 pm

juliasd wrote:What do you think of: "Zombies Try for an Orderly Apocalypse" or "How to Thwart the Zombie Apocalypse" or "Fox TV Correspondant Warns of Zombie Attacks: Finally Something True".
How about: "Thwart the Zombie Apocalypse from Home, In Your Spare Time."

User avatar
strawman
Member
Posts: 5966
Joined: Sat Oct 20, 2007 2:20 pm
Location: South Georgia

Re: Apocalypse

Post by strawman » Wed Dec 02, 2009 12:38 am

Thwart - Now, there's a mouthful. You ever notice how, some words, you almost want to look in the mirror to see what they look like coming out?
Never judge anyone until you have biopsied their brain.

"Be kind, for everyone is fighting a hard battle."
Known Some Call Is Air Am
Spoiler:
Non sum qualis eram = "I am not who I will be"

User avatar
Algernon Sydney is Dead
Moderator
Posts: 3514
Joined: Thu Oct 16, 2008 11:22 pm
Location: PRK (California)

Re: Apocalypse

Post by Algernon Sydney is Dead » Wed Dec 02, 2009 12:48 am

Nah, me 'n mirrors don't get along so much.
I might make an exception for "trollop" though. :wink:

You do know that "thwart" is from an old word that means perverse? (among other things)

User avatar
strawman
Member
Posts: 5966
Joined: Sat Oct 20, 2007 2:20 pm
Location: South Georgia

Re: Apocalypse

Post by strawman » Wed Dec 02, 2009 12:54 am

Yeah, I had to look it up and see where it came from, and while I was browsing around, I found that 'twat' came from thwaite, 'forest clearing'. Reminded me why I love etymology.
Never judge anyone until you have biopsied their brain.

"Be kind, for everyone is fighting a hard battle."
Known Some Call Is Air Am
Spoiler:
Non sum qualis eram = "I am not who I will be"

User avatar
Algernon Sydney is Dead
Moderator
Posts: 3514
Joined: Thu Oct 16, 2008 11:22 pm
Location: PRK (California)

Re: Apocalypse

Post by Algernon Sydney is Dead » Wed Dec 02, 2009 1:06 am

Yep, and what do you do after you clear a forest? You plow it.
Shame, so many are clear-cut these days.

User avatar
strawman
Member
Posts: 5966
Joined: Sat Oct 20, 2007 2:20 pm
Location: South Georgia

Re: Apocalypse

Post by strawman » Wed Dec 02, 2009 1:11 am

I'm a controlled-burn man myself. Too much fuel and you get wildfires.
Never judge anyone until you have biopsied their brain.

"Be kind, for everyone is fighting a hard battle."
Known Some Call Is Air Am
Spoiler:
Non sum qualis eram = "I am not who I will be"

User avatar
Algernon Sydney is Dead
Moderator
Posts: 3514
Joined: Thu Oct 16, 2008 11:22 pm
Location: PRK (California)

Re: Apocalypse

Post by Algernon Sydney is Dead » Wed Dec 02, 2009 1:24 am

Dear lord! You have a partner that'll put up with that?

A little trim,in the undergrowth, is all you need.

User avatar
strawman
Member
Posts: 5966
Joined: Sat Oct 20, 2007 2:20 pm
Location: South Georgia

Re: Apocalypse

Post by strawman » Wed Dec 02, 2009 2:10 am

What's a partner got to do with it? You get a wildfire, it'll wipe out the whole tract, and all the critters with it.
Never judge anyone until you have biopsied their brain.

"Be kind, for everyone is fighting a hard battle."
Known Some Call Is Air Am
Spoiler:
Non sum qualis eram = "I am not who I will be"

User avatar
Algernon Sydney is Dead
Moderator
Posts: 3514
Joined: Thu Oct 16, 2008 11:22 pm
Location: PRK (California)

Re: Apocalypse

Post by Algernon Sydney is Dead » Wed Dec 02, 2009 2:20 am

I've had a little burning, but never a wildfire. No bad critter problems, either. Fungus seems to be the worst of it.

juliasd
Member
Posts: 51
Joined: Sun Nov 29, 2009 5:25 pm
Location: Los Angeles, CA

Re: Apocalypse

Post by juliasd » Wed Dec 02, 2009 8:49 am

Wow. How did a story about zombies become a bunch of sexual inuendos? That's kind of awesome. Thanks guys. Thanks a lot. :P

juliasd
Member
Posts: 51
Joined: Sun Nov 29, 2009 5:25 pm
Location: Los Angeles, CA

Re: Apocalypse

Post by juliasd » Wed Dec 02, 2009 8:52 am

Algernon Sydney is Dead wrote: How about: "Thwart the Zombie Apocalypse from Home, In Your Spare Time."
:lol: Love it!

User avatar
strawman
Member
Posts: 5966
Joined: Sat Oct 20, 2007 2:20 pm
Location: South Georgia

Re: Apocalypse

Post by strawman » Wed Dec 02, 2009 12:41 pm

Actually, I think closer study will reveal that half of the thread was a serious discussion of modern forestry techniques and etymology. I'll leave it to Algernon to explain what he entendred.
[I guess that makes this a single entendre?]
Never judge anyone until you have biopsied their brain.

"Be kind, for everyone is fighting a hard battle."
Known Some Call Is Air Am
Spoiler:
Non sum qualis eram = "I am not who I will be"

User avatar
Algernon Sydney is Dead
Moderator
Posts: 3514
Joined: Thu Oct 16, 2008 11:22 pm
Location: PRK (California)

Re: Apocalypse

Post by Algernon Sydney is Dead » Wed Dec 02, 2009 12:44 pm

A gentleman never tells.

juliasd
Member
Posts: 51
Joined: Sun Nov 29, 2009 5:25 pm
Location: Los Angeles, CA

Re: Apocalypse

Post by juliasd » Wed Dec 02, 2009 5:56 pm

strawman wrote:Actually, I think closer study will reveal that half of the thread was a serious discussion of modern forestry techniques and etymology. I'll leave it to Algernon to explain what he entendred.
Oh, yeah, sure. Thanks for clearing that up, Strawman. Clearly you aren't over the fire department in LA, or half our mountain range wouldn't have gone up in flames.
Algernon Sydney is Dead wrote:A gentleman never tells.
Glad to know I'm dealing with gentlemen, Algernon. :)

Post Reply