Post your Twitfic Twabbles Here! (General Content)

Submit 100 character stories for the weekly contest
dinosaurmonkey
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Re: Post your Twitfic Twabbles Here! (General Content)

Post by dinosaurmonkey »

Hazel wrote: Mon Nov 08, 2021 6:06 pm We sing our campfire songs in close orbit to this final star.
A lonely candle flickering into the night.


Its not long now.
I LOVE this one Hazel..
but should be "It's" not long now, right?
Might I suggest changing "the night." into "the void." or "the dark." to keep to the 100 characters... or anything you feel suits your idea best.
Rawr! 🦖🙊
dinosaurmonkey
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Posts: 232
Joined: Fri Oct 19, 2018 9:35 pm

Re: Post your Twitfic Twabbles Here! (General Content)

Post by dinosaurmonkey »

The_Hol-Man wrote: Wed Nov 03, 2021 10:09 pm “Hey, I won’t tell you how to live your life.”

“Then what are you here to tell me?!” I asked my time-traveling future self.
I'm not here to talk.
I'm here to kill you and take your place, I'll do it right this time around. Time paradoxes be damned!


I like!
Rawr! 🦖🙊
dinosaurmonkey
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Posts: 232
Joined: Fri Oct 19, 2018 9:35 pm

Re: Post your Twitfic Twabbles Here! (General Content)

Post by dinosaurmonkey »

I got on another watch list but I'm not worried. If it's like a Netflix watch list they'll put me on & won't look at it again.
Rawr! 🦖🙊
dinosaurmonkey
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Posts: 232
Joined: Fri Oct 19, 2018 9:35 pm

Re: Post your Twitfic Twabbles Here! (General Content)

Post by dinosaurmonkey »

Why are government watch lists viewed as bad? Ever since I made my own I never miss the best parts of my tenants home lives.
Rawr! 🦖🙊
Hazel
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Posts: 51
Joined: Thu Apr 04, 2019 6:35 pm

Re: Post your Twitfic Twabbles Here! (General Content)

Post by Hazel »

Yes, it should be It's, but I omitted it for the character count. While also improper, I think the best solution would be to leave off a period for the apostrophe.

So:

We sing our campfire songs in close orbit to this final star.
A lonely candle flickering into the night


It's not long now.


While not grammatically correct, along with the double spacing it reinforces the uncomfortable empty feeling before the final phrase closes it off.

Thanks for the feedback!
dinosaurmonkey wrote: Wed Nov 10, 2021 3:38 am
Hazel wrote: Mon Nov 08, 2021 6:06 pm We sing our campfire songs in close orbit to this final star.
A lonely candle flickering into the night.

Its not long now.
I LOVE this one Hazel..
but should be "It's" not long now, right?
Might I suggest changing "the night." into "the void." or "the dark." to keep to the 100 characters... or anything you feel suits your idea best.
dinosaurmonkey
Member
Posts: 232
Joined: Fri Oct 19, 2018 9:35 pm

Re: Post your Twitfic Twabbles Here! (General Content)

Post by dinosaurmonkey »

Hazel wrote: Tue Nov 23, 2021 6:09 pm
While not grammatically correct, along with the double spacing it reinforces the uncomfortable empty feeling before the final phrase closes it off.
I wholeheartedly agree... a solid addition.
I'm a sucker for the solitude in the dark imagery.
Rawr! 🦖🙊
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