Page 289 of 387

Re: Post your Twitfic Twabbles Here! (General Content)

Posted: Wed Apr 30, 2014 6:45 pm
by Spindaddy
JarodKAnderson wrote:I tried to lure the viking into drowning, but he was too buoyant. You can lead a Norse to water, but you can't make him sink.
I blasted out a loud HA! at this one! Excellant!

As far as puns, I'm that guy that loves puns whether you meant the pun or not. I'll always laugh. I like to think its because I'm a fun guy.

Burning Love

Posted: Wed Apr 30, 2014 6:58 pm
by Spindaddy
"Look Mom why is this a big deal? I just ignited the man's passion!"
"You set him on fire by using a blowtorch on his penis!"

Re: Post your Twitfic Twabbles Here! (General Content)

Posted: Wed Apr 30, 2014 10:07 pm
by strawman
Sounds like a campaign promise.

Re: Post your Twitfic Twabbles Here! (General Content)

Posted: Thu May 01, 2014 3:17 am
by JarodKAnderson
"Milady, let down your hair," cried the noble prince. A large rabbit fell from the tower window. Ra-pun-zel snickered.

Re: Post your Twitfic Twabbles Here! (General Content)

Posted: Thu May 01, 2014 3:24 am
by JarodKAnderson
This new species will bare my name," said Dr. John Opossum. "Why can't we name it after me?" asked Dr. Cornelius Shitrat.


(There. That one isn't technically a pun. Happy?)

Re: Post your Twitfic Twabbles Here! (General Content)

Posted: Thu May 01, 2014 3:26 am
by Algernon Sydney is Dead
JarodKAnderson wrote:"Milady, let down your hair," cried the noble prince. A large rabbit fell from the tower window. Ra-pun-zel snickered.
Good one.

Lepus logic? That's quite a leap to think that tossing her hare to, no-doubt, grievous injury qualifies as "let down". Unless she promised the poor rabbit to stop maiming it for laughs. :)

Re: Post your Twitfic Twabbles Here! (General Content)

Posted: Thu May 01, 2014 3:32 am
by tbaker2500
JarodKAnderson wrote:"Milady, let down your hair," cried the noble prince. A large rabbit fell from the tower window. Ra-pun-zel snickered.
Awful. I love it!

Re: Post your Twitfic Twabbles Here! (General Content)

Posted: Thu May 01, 2014 11:37 pm
by Spindaddy
JarodKAnderson wrote:This new species will bare my name," said Dr. John Opossum. "Why can't we name it after me?" asked Dr. Cornelius Shitrat.


(There. That one isn't technically a pun. Happy?)
OMG Dad! You ran over a shitrat back there!

Junior! Get away from that thing! Aw Mom, its just a Shitrat pretending it's dead.

Remember, if the bear comes close, fall to the ground and play Shitrat. It will think you're dead and leave you alone.

Yes.. We need to rename the possum to the Shitrat.

Re: Post your Twitfic Twabbles Here! (General Content)

Posted: Fri May 02, 2014 11:01 pm
by brainz
They said she would float if she were truly a witch...They forgot to mention she might raise an undead army to kill us all.

Re: Post your Twitfic Twabbles Here! (General Content)

Posted: Fri May 02, 2014 11:39 pm
by brainz
I crossed the Dark Forest, climbed the treacherous Fire Mountain, and finally slew the dragon...man, was PETA pissed.

Re: Post your Twitfic Twabbles Here! (General Content)

Posted: Sat May 03, 2014 1:58 am
by Algernon Sydney is Dead
brainz wrote:They said she would float if she were truly a witch...They forgot to mention she might raise an undead army to kill us all.
Yeah, that's not Cricket! Witches are just supposed to blight crops and cause stillborn calves. That zombie shit is, uh, overkill!

Welcome aboard, Brainz!

Re: Post your Twitfic Twabbles Here! (General Content)

Posted: Sat May 03, 2014 8:20 pm
by inkhat
At the end of the date they looked at her photos. “This is my favorite” she said. It was him, years ago. They were all of him.

Re: Post your Twitfic Twabbles Here! (General Content)

Posted: Sat May 03, 2014 8:48 pm
by JarodKAnderson
When Boxcar Barbie packed her bindle she thought she was riding the rails to her one true love, but Hoboken was a let down.

Re: Post your Twitfic Twabbles Here! (General Content)

Posted: Sun May 04, 2014 4:46 pm
by unreliable narrator
Sunlight crept into my room on golden sandaled feet and I sniffed audibly. "Did you tread dogshit into the house again?"

Re: Post your Twitfic Twabbles Here! (General Content)

Posted: Sun May 04, 2014 5:14 pm
by Spindaddy
unreliable narrator wrote:Sunlight crept into my room on golden sandaled feet and I sniffed audibly. "Did you tread dogshit into the house again?"
Haha, I can totally picture somebody's hippie mom yelling this at them.

Re: Post your Twitfic Twabbles Here! (General Content)

Posted: Mon May 05, 2014 12:35 am
by JarodKAnderson
"Ignore the pickle at your peril, gentleman," the general had said before being speared. At least now, we knew the dill.

Re: Post your Twitfic Twabbles Here! (General Content)

Posted: Mon May 05, 2014 5:35 pm
by Will_D
As the fires spread out of the cities and closed in on their plains, the Elephantrees said "forget this, we're leaving."

Re: Post your Twitfic Twabbles Here! (General Content)

Posted: Mon May 05, 2014 8:50 pm
by Algernon Sydney is Dead
Welcome aboard, Will_D!

Re: Post your Twitfic Twabbles Here! (General Content)

Posted: Tue May 06, 2014 1:49 am
by JarodKAnderson
"Fame has changed you, bro," said Desert Whatsit. Forest Doodad and Mountain Chotski nodded. Swamp Thing looked hurt.

Re: Post your Twitfic Twabbles Here! (General Content)

Posted: Tue May 06, 2014 2:01 am
by Algernon Sydney is Dead
Out of the mouths of babes, come unspeakable tentacled horrors. We really shouldn't have let Zeb into the genetics lab.