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Super Squid Sex Organ Discovered

Posted: Wed Jul 07, 2010 1:28 pm
by LajesticVantrashellofLob
That is the EXACT headline from the BBC, I kid you not.
Image ... 792008.stm" onclick=";return false;

"The mating habits of deep-sea squid have been revealed for the first time, after the discovery of a male squid with a huge elongated and erect penis.

The male squid's sexual organ is almost as long as its whole body, including the squid's mantle, head and arms.

That shows how male deep-sea squid inseminate females; they use their huge penis to shoot out packages of sperm, injecting them into the female's body."

Oh, BBC news... is there any other news organization that would use the term "huge penis"? I think not.

Re: Super Squid Sex Organ Discovered

Posted: Wed Jul 07, 2010 5:26 pm
by dreamrock
At least it wasn't the Telegraph or Daily Mail. The headline would have read "Scientists Say Squids Use Magic Wands for Sex." :lol:

Re: Super Squid Sex Organ Discovered

Posted: Wed Jul 07, 2010 6:34 pm
by StalinSays
I guess they have 11 tentacles...

Re: Super Squid Sex Organ Discovered

Posted: Wed Jul 07, 2010 10:32 pm
by Phenopath
Try this link for undersea penile cryptozoology..." onclick=";return false;

Re: Super Squid Sex Organ Discovered

Posted: Thu Jul 08, 2010 1:43 am
by strawman
This is just sorry. That's a huge erect penis? Simply No, it is not. The BBC is joking. Someone is paid to come up with these stories. That fact, IMO, is the actual huge erect penis.
It's probably Benny Hill's fault.

Re: Super Squid Sex Organ Discovered

Posted: Thu Jul 08, 2010 3:40 pm
by LajesticVantrashellofLob
strawman wrote:The BBC is joking.
Well the original article is real enough, even if I can't access it: ... ull/eyq019" onclick=";return false;

As are its authors, the "A ARKHIPKIN" and "V LAPTIKHOVKY" credited in the photos.

Alexander Arkhipkin

Vladimir Laptikhovsky

They can be found at" onclick=";return false; and" onclick=";return false; respectively.

Take a good look, gents. These are the men researching "huge elongated and erect" squid penises. I don't know whether to envy them or not...

Re: Super Squid Sex Organ Discovered

Posted: Thu Jul 08, 2010 6:34 pm
by strawman
Where their publications are all listed:
Laptikhovsky V.V., Nigmatullun Ch.M. (1993). Egg size, fecundity, and spawning in females of the genus Illex (Cephalopoda: Ommastrephidae). ICES Journal of marine Science, 50, 393-403.
Laptikhovsky V.V., Arkhipkin A.I. & Golub A.A. (1993). Larval age, growth and mortality in the oceanic squid Sthenoteuthis pteropus (Cephalopoda, Ommastrephidae) from the eastern tropical Atlantic. Journal of Plankton research, 15 (4), 375-384.
Arkhipkin A., Laptikhovsky V. (1994). Seasonal and interannual variability in growth and maturation of winter-spawning Illex argentinus (Cephalopoda, Ommastrephidae) in the Southwest Atlantic. Aquatic Living Resources, 7, 221-232.
Laptikhovsky V.V., Nigmatullin Ch.M. (1996). The biflagellate spermatozoa of the squid genus Illex (Cephalopoda, Ommastrephidae): Morphology, activity and concentration in spermatophores. Ruthenica, 6 (2), 149-159.
Laptikhovsky V.V. (1998). Differentiation of reproductive strategies within a taxon, as exemplified by octopods. Ruthenica, 8 (1), 77-80.
Laptikhovsky V., Fetisov A. (1999). Scavenging by fish of discards from the Patagonian squid fishery. Fisheries research. 41(1): 93-97.
Laptikhovsky V.V. (1999). Fecundity and spawning in squid of families Enoploteuthidae and Ancystrocheiridae (Cephalopoda: Oegopsida). Scientia Marina, 63 (1) : 1-7.
Laptikhovsky V.V. (1999). Fecundity and reproductive strategy of three species of octopods from the northwest Bering Sea. Russian Journal of Marine Biology, 25 (4): 342-347. (In Russian with English summary).
Laptikhovsky V.V. (1999). Improved mathematical model to study the duration of embryogenesis in cephalopod mollusks. Ruthenica, 9 (2): 141-146.
Laptikhovsky V.V. (1999). Seasonal changes of species composition, numbers, biomass and food consumption in seabirds on the shelf and continental slope of Morocco. Zoologicheskyi Zhurnal, 78 (11): 1340-1346. (In Russian with English summary).
Laptikhovsky V. (2001). Fecundity, egg masses and hatchlings of Benthoctopus spp (Octopodidae) in the Falkland waters. J.mar.biol.Ass.U.K., 81 (2): 267-270.
Laptikhovsky V.V. (2001) First data on ovary maturation and fecundity in the squid family Histioteuthidae. Scientia Marina, 65 (2) 127-129.
Laptikhovsky V.V. (2001). Distribution and numbers of cetaceans in waters off Northwest Africa and their role in ecosystem. Zoologicheskiy Zh., 80 (3): 358-363. (In Russian).
Laptikhovsky V.V., Arkhipkin A.I. 2001. Oogenesis in the squid Loligo gahi in the southeast shelf of the Falkland Islands // J.Moll.Stud. V.67. P. 475-482.
Laptikhovsky V.V., Arkhipkin A.I., Henderson A.C. 2001. Feeding habits and dietary overlap in spiny dogfish Squalus acanthias (Squalidae) and narrowmouth catshark Sroederichthys bivius (Scyliorhinidae) // J.mar.biol.Ass.U.K, 81: 1015-1018.
Laptikhovsky V.V. 2002. Diurnal feeding rhythm of the short-fin squid Illex argentinus (Cephalopoda: Ommastrephidae) in the Falkland waters // Fisheries Research, 59: 233-237.
Laptikhovsky V.V. 2002. Ecology of decapod cephalopod reproduction (Cephalopoda: Teuthidae, Sepiidae) // Zool.Zh., 81(11): 1319-1328 (In Russian).
Laptikhovsky V.V., Arkhipkin, A.I., Middleton D.A.J., Butcher L.R. 2002. Ovary maturation and fecundity of the squid Loligo gahi in the southeast shelf of the Falkland Islands. Bull. Mar. Sci. 71 (1): 449-464.
Laptikhovsky, V., Arkhipkin, A. 2003. An impact of seasonal squid migrations and fishery on the feeding spectra of subantarctic notothenioids Patagonotothen ramsayi and Cottoperca gobio around the Falkland Islands. J. Appl.Ichthyol. 19 (1): 35-39.
Laptikhovsky V., Salman A. 2003. On the reproductive strategies of the epipelagic octopods of the superfamily Argonautoidea (Cephalopoda: Octopoda) // Marine Biology, 142: 321-326.
Laptikhovsky V.V., Golub A.N. 2003. Estimation of abundance of fulmars (Fulmarus glacialis, Procellariidae) on fishery grounds in the Irminger Sea, and a role of fishery discards in their feeding. Zool.Zh. 82 (1): 120-122. (In Russian)
Laptikhovsky V., Salman A., Onsoy B., Katagan T. 2003. Fecundity of the common cuttlefish, Sepia officinalis L. (Cephalopoda, Sepiida): a new look on an old problem. Scientia Marina 67 (3): 279-284.
Laptikhovsky V.V. 2004. A comparative study of the diet in three sympatric populations of Patagonotothen sp (Pisces: Nototheniidae). Polar Biology.27: 202-205.
Laptikhovsky V. 2004. The survival rates of rays discarded by the squid-targeting bottom trawl fishery off the Falkland Islands. Fishery Bulletin, 102(4): 757-759.
Laptikhovsky, V., Brickle P. 2005. The Patagonian toothfish fishery in Falkland Islands’ waters // Fisheries Research, 74: 11-23.
Laptikhovsky V. (2005) A trophic ecology of two grenadier species (Macrouridae, Pisces) in deep waters of the Southwest Atlantic // Deep – Sea Research I, 52: 1502-1514.
Laptikhovsky, V., Salman A, and MoustahfId H. (2005). Morphological changes at maturation and systematics in the squid genus Alloteuthis. Bull.Phuket.Mar.Biol.Centre, 66: 187-193.
Laptikhovsky, V.V., Nigmatullin Ch.M. (2005). Female reproductive biology of the orange-back squid, Sthenoteuthis pteropus (Steenstup) (Ommastrephidae: Oegopsidae) in the eastern tropical Atlantic. Scientia Marina, 69 (3): 383-390.
Laptikhovsky, V., Brickle, P., Arkhipkin, A. (2006). Distribution and reproduction of the Patagonian toothfish, Dissostichus eleginoides Smitt, around the Falkland Islands // Journal of Fish Biology, 68: 849-861.
Laptikhovsky V. (2006). Latitudinal and bathymetric trends in egg size variation: a new look at Thorson’s and Rass’s rules // Marine Ecology, 27: 7-14.

Search as hard as you will, nary a mention of HUGE ERECT PENIS

Re: Super Squid Sex Organ Discovered

Posted: Thu Jul 08, 2010 11:48 pm
by LajesticVantrashellofLob
The last article listed there is from 2006, and Laptikhovsky has published more papers since then.

Here's one from 2008, for instance:" onclick=";return false;

And another, again from 2008, once more from the Journal of Molluscan Studies: ... t/74/3/203" onclick=";return false;

I trust an Oxford scientific journal more than a website that hasn't been updated since 2006...

Re: Super Squid Sex Organ Discovered

Posted: Fri Jul 09, 2010 2:03 am
by strawman
The way I see it going down is Alex and Vlad were tired of writing paper after damned paper with titles like "Morphological changes at maturation and systematics in the squid genus Alloteuthis" and were sick of flopping around amongst the rather unremarkable, small, flaccid squid penises.

Alex says to Vlad, "I know how we can get our pics in the paper in time for our date with those two hot sisters in the rat lab!" Next thing you know, he's got BBC Ace reporter Matt Walker, Editor, Earth News buying him a beer and taking notes, "You say it's a HUGE, ERECT penis, right? Got a picture?....Oh, well that's a bit disappointing...well if we crop out that enormous ant on the table it might increase the perspective a bit...."

Re: Super Squid Sex Organ Discovered

Posted: Fri Jul 09, 2010 3:30 am
by LajesticVantrashellofLob
I really like that explanation, actually - I'm still laughing at "flopping around amongst the rather unremarkable, small, flaccid squid penises " :D

Re: Super Squid Sex Organ Discovered

Posted: Sat Jul 10, 2010 1:12 am
by jannypie
nothing i can think to say would be appropriate for this forum, so :-x

Re: Super Squid Sex Organ Discovered

Posted: Sat Jul 10, 2010 4:07 am
by LajesticVantrashellofLob
It's the drabblecast and we're talking about squid penises. Conventional definitions of 'appropriate' really don't enter into the equation ;)

Re: Super Squid Sex Organ Discovered

Posted: Tue Aug 10, 2010 6:48 pm
by revsleestaxx
this article has left me with feelings of inadequacy and self loathing

Re: Super Squid Sex Organ Discovered

Posted: Fri Jan 07, 2011 12:39 pm
by strawman
Grewaypezer has been banned for spam

Re: Super Squid Sex Organ Discovered

Posted: Sun Jan 09, 2011 11:41 pm
by Mikes
Ah, my License Fee at work. or at least my mum's license fee, anyway.

If anyone wants to be shocked.grossed out search youtube for 'humpback whale mating'. before you start thinking this is what I search for at work (give me some credit. Blue whales all the way for me), this was from another BBC doco I saw back in '99 about the mating of various animals (don't ask why it was on), and they showed two whales doing the nasty.

You'll never each thick noodles again.

On a side note that show also tought me that the white rhino's penis weighs two stone* when erect. That little fact never lets me down at a dinner party.

*28lbs for the Americans among you