Gigantoid Spider

Would have beena great fiction story...if it was fiction
User avatar
Goldenrat
Member
Posts: 265
Joined: Sun Feb 17, 2008 2:07 am
Location: Minnesota

Post by Goldenrat » Sun Nov 09, 2008 9:47 pm

zZzacha wrote:You guys are creaping the heck out of me!!!! WHAAA!!!!

I am very very glad I don't reside in Australia. Where I live (you know, that nice little country that used to have coffee shops, but now the government is thinking of closing them...) there seem to be bigger mosquitoes this year. I can live with that. I canNOT live with the bigger spiders that will be attracted to them. So I will have to kill myself in the near future. I mean, who can live with bigger spiders without having the drugs around to immediately forget about them?
We seemed to have bigger mosquitoes than ever this year in Minnesota, probably due to the wet spring. But it just seems like there aren't any cool giant insects or animals in the US. Not in my neck of the woods anyway. Yeah, we have moose but that's it. Could you mail me some giant spiders so I can introduce them in to the boring Midwestern US wild?
Raise your fists and scream "black smut"!

User avatar
zZzacha
Member
Posts: 358
Joined: Thu Jun 19, 2008 12:33 pm
Location: Teh Netherlandz
Contact:

Post by zZzacha » Sun Nov 09, 2008 11:54 pm

Goldenrat wrote:Could you mail me some giant spiders so I can introduce them in to the boring Midwestern US wild?
I would love to mail you all the Dutch spiders I can find! Even though I have absolutely no clue how to get them into an envelope, because there´s no way I will get close to such an animal. Really. I don´t even dare to kill one with a broom, because I´m afraid it will run real fast up the stick straight at me. Whenever a spider crosses my path, I just scream some primal scream, put my hands as far away from it as possible and when my body recovers to the fear, it joins my hands and moves many metres away from it. All that time, my eyes are in conflict: keep my attention to the dangerous animal, conflicted by the overwhelming need to NOT see it. It's a struggle.

Fortunately, though, the spiders here are not very huge in the international measuring of spiders. Of course, they are way too huge for my taste.
I'll be there in 5 minutes. If not, read this again.

User avatar
Mr. Tweedy
Member
Posts: 1733
Joined: Mon Oct 22, 2007 5:03 pm
Location: Illinois (Land of Obama)
Contact:

Post by Mr. Tweedy » Mon Nov 10, 2008 4:28 am

That's what the bunny in the picture is nibbling on... It's the hairs on the palpus of a half-ton spider. :!:
Advertise in this space!

cammoblammo
Member
Posts: 361
Joined: Wed Feb 20, 2008 7:54 am
Location: Colac, Victoria
Contact:

Post by cammoblammo » Thu Nov 13, 2008 1:23 pm

zZzacha wrote: I am very very glad I don't reside in Australia. Where I live (you know, that nice little country that used to have coffee shops, but now the government is thinking of closing them...) there seem to be bigger mosquitoes this year. I can live with that. I canNOT live with the bigger spiders that will be attracted to them. So I will have to kill myself in the near future. I mean, who can live with bigger spiders without having the drugs around to immediately forget about them?
Our mosquitoes are plenty big, too. That's why we need big spiders---to keep the insects at bay. Oh, the flies. Did I mention the flies?
zZzacha wrote: I would love to mail you all the Dutch spiders I can find! Even though I have absolutely no clue how to get them into an envelope, because there´s no way I will get close to such an animal. Really. I don´t even dare to kill one with a broom, because I´m afraid it will run real fast up the stick straight at me. Whenever a spider crosses my path, I just scream some primal scream, put my hands as far away from it as possible and when my body recovers to the fear, it joins my hands and moves many metres away from it. All that time, my eyes are in conflict: keep my attention to the dangerous animal, conflicted by the overwhelming need to NOT see it. It's a struggle.

Fortunately, though, the spiders here are not very huge in the international measuring of spiders. Of course, they are way too huge for my taste.
My mother-in-law is Dutch, and I can attest to everything you just said. Funnily enough it's the smaller spiders you have to worry about. They can be quite dangerous. The big ones can deliver a painful bite, but you really have to upset them to get that reaction. Heck, the best course of action when confronted by a huntsman is to pick the thing up and put it somewhere more mutually beneficial. Mum likes to disagree, though...!
It is something that has to be proved scientifically, that a human being turned into a goat.

User avatar
zZzacha
Member
Posts: 358
Joined: Thu Jun 19, 2008 12:33 pm
Location: Teh Netherlandz
Contact:

Post by zZzacha » Sun Nov 16, 2008 3:33 pm

cammoblammo wrote:Our mosquitoes are plenty big, too. That's why we need big spiders---to keep the insects at bay. Oh, the flies. Did I mention the flies?
Flies?!?! How scary can they get? Are they huge or are they huge in numbers?
cammoblammo wrote:My mother-in-law is Dutch, and I can attest to everything you just said. Funnily enough it's the smaller spiders you have to worry about. They can be quite dangerous. The big ones can deliver a painful bite, but you really have to upset them to get that reaction. Heck, the best course of action when confronted by a huntsman is to pick the thing up and put it somewhere more mutually beneficial. Mum likes to disagree, though...!
Of course! Because it's not what they do that makes them scary - there are insects that can do much worse than a spider, I guess. It's how they look and how they walk that makes them really creepy. Your schoonmamma will understand that. And how can you talk about picking up a spider?!? I would never ever get close to a spider because I'm sure it will jump straight to the face. Hit it with a stick or, even better: throw shoes at it, until it dies (if it's a real stupid spider that decides to stay put and see if I can really hit it with a shoe).

Groetjes aan je schoonmamma, cammoblammo! Sinterklaas is weer in het land!
I'll be there in 5 minutes. If not, read this again.

cammoblammo
Member
Posts: 361
Joined: Wed Feb 20, 2008 7:54 am
Location: Colac, Victoria
Contact:

Post by cammoblammo » Sun Nov 16, 2008 10:51 pm

zZzacha wrote:
cammoblammo wrote:Our mosquitoes are plenty big, too. That's why we need big spiders---to keep the insects at bay. Oh, the flies. Did I mention the flies?
Flies?!?! How scary can they get? Are they huge or are they huge in numbers?
Let's just say we don't let small children play with them. The real answer is the latter---my town has a lot of cattle around, and in summer the air just buzzes. Many people wear nets over their faces just for the sake of sanity.
zZzacha wrote:
cammoblammo wrote:My mother-in-law is Dutch, and I can attest to everything you just said. Funnily enough it's the smaller spiders you have to worry about. They can be quite dangerous. The big ones can deliver a painful bite, but you really have to upset them to get that reaction. Heck, the best course of action when confronted by a huntsman is to pick the thing up and put it somewhere more mutually beneficial. Mum likes to disagree, though...!
Of course! Because it's not what they do that makes them scary - there are insects that can do much worse than a spider, I guess. It's how they look and how they walk that makes them really creepy. Your schoonmamma will understand that. And how can you talk about picking up a spider?!? I would never ever get close to a spider because I'm sure it will jump straight to the face. Hit it with a stick or, even better: throw shoes at it, until it dies (if it's a real stupid spider that decides to stay put and see if I can really hit it with a shoe).
I will admit that I don't go for the hands on approach myself. I usually knock the spider into a shoe box (not a shoe, unless it belongs to my schoonmamma ;-)) and transport it that way. They're not usually stupid enough to get hit, and I'm sure they're intelligent enough to plot revenge.
zZzacha wrote: Groetjes aan je schoonmamma, cammoblammo! Sinterklaas is weer in het land!
I don't know what that means, but I've never needed the translation to get the message. Then again, that may have a lot to do with the person doing the 'talking!'
It is something that has to be proved scientifically, that a human being turned into a goat.

User avatar
zZzacha
Member
Posts: 358
Joined: Thu Jun 19, 2008 12:33 pm
Location: Teh Netherlandz
Contact:

Post by zZzacha » Mon Nov 17, 2008 12:13 pm

cammoblammo wrote:Many people wear nets over their faces just for the sake of sanity.
Wut?! People keep their sanity by wearing nets over their faces... And I thought Holland was weird.
Or do they just say that it's to keep their sanity, when actually they are all out robbing banks? In these difficult times, people get creative.
cammoblammo wrote:They're not usually stupid enough to get hit, and I'm sure they're intelligent enough to plot revenge.
I absolutely agree. Those nasty things are smart! They plot and taunt and I suspect they even trained my cats to bring them inside.
cammoblammo wrote:I don't know what that means, but I've never needed the translation to get the message. Then again, that may have a lot to do with the person doing the 'talking!'
You understand rule number one of commmunication: it's not what someone says, but what you make of it.
I'll be there in 5 minutes. If not, read this again.

cammoblammo
Member
Posts: 361
Joined: Wed Feb 20, 2008 7:54 am
Location: Colac, Victoria
Contact:

Post by cammoblammo » Mon Nov 17, 2008 1:42 pm

zZzacha wrote:
cammoblammo wrote:Many people wear nets over their faces just for the sake of sanity.
Wut?! People keep their sanity by wearing nets over their faces... And I thought Holland was weird.
Or do they just say that it's to keep their sanity, when actually they are all out robbing banks? In these difficult times, people get creative.
No, that's why we came to Australia in the first place. As for the nets, don't knock it till you try it.
zZzacha wrote:
cammoblammo wrote:I don't know what that means, but I've never needed the translation to get the message. Then again, that may have a lot to do with the person doing the 'talking!'
You understand rule number one of commmunication: it's not what someone says, but what you make of it.
And believe me, she makes a lot of it!
It is something that has to be proved scientifically, that a human being turned into a goat.

deflective
Member
Posts: 87
Joined: Wed Jan 09, 2008 8:56 am

Post by deflective » Sun Dec 21, 2008 11:58 pm

australia strikes back!

well, maybe australia. both species live there so i choose to believe it's australia.

User avatar
zZzacha
Member
Posts: 358
Joined: Thu Jun 19, 2008 12:33 pm
Location: Teh Netherlandz
Contact:

Post by zZzacha » Mon Dec 22, 2008 1:46 am

deflective wrote:australia strikes back!

well, maybe australia. both species live there so i choose to believe it's australia.
Wow, deflective, that is a nasty fight! A Mini Beast Death Match!!

Who's lined up for round 2?
I'll be there in 5 minutes. If not, read this again.

deflective
Member
Posts: 87
Joined: Wed Jan 09, 2008 8:56 am

Post by deflective » Mon Dec 22, 2008 6:05 pm


User avatar
Mr. Tweedy
Member
Posts: 1733
Joined: Mon Oct 22, 2007 5:03 pm
Location: Illinois (Land of Obama)
Contact:

Post by Mr. Tweedy » Mon Dec 22, 2008 6:58 pm

Wow... What a site! I can't believe somebody beat Norm to this...

It's weird how you can't predict which ones will win. I would never expect the scorpion to beat a hornet... or a beetle to beat a scorpion... or a centipede to beat a scorpion. (Yes, I watched a bunch.) The most surprising one was when that disgusting, super-creepy centipede got smacked down by that innocuous looking grasshopper-thing. I figured the hopper would just get wrapped up and devoured, but instead it just calmly bit off the centipede's legs one by one by one...

I don't like how small and bare the arena is: It puts bugs that could use flight, stealth or speed at a disadvantage. But if the arena was bigger, they might not fight...
Advertise in this space!

User avatar
strawman
Member
Posts: 5966
Joined: Sat Oct 20, 2007 2:20 pm
Location: South Georgia

Post by strawman » Mon Dec 22, 2008 9:17 pm

And the difference between this and Michael Vick is...
... bugs don't hump your leg
...giant radioactive dogs wouldn't work in a Japanese monster movie starring Raymond Burr.

...
Never judge anyone until you have biopsied their brain.

"Be kind, for everyone is fighting a hard battle."
Known Some Call Is Air Am
Spoiler:
Non sum qualis eram = "I am not who I will be"

User avatar
Mr. Tweedy
Member
Posts: 1733
Joined: Mon Oct 22, 2007 5:03 pm
Location: Illinois (Land of Obama)
Contact:

Post by Mr. Tweedy » Mon Dec 22, 2008 10:15 pm

Actually, bugs do hump your leg. The difference is that they leave hungry little grubs in your flesh.
Advertise in this space!

deflective
Member
Posts: 87
Joined: Wed Jan 09, 2008 8:56 am

Post by deflective » Tue Dec 30, 2008 5:24 am

gah! what is it with australia?

every time i turn around it's freaking me out and the more i know the worse it gets.

cammoblammo
Member
Posts: 361
Joined: Wed Feb 20, 2008 7:54 am
Location: Colac, Victoria
Contact:

Post by cammoblammo » Tue Dec 30, 2008 7:41 am

deflective wrote:gah! what is it with australia?

every time i turn around it's freaking me out and the more i know the worse it gets.
You haven't seem our women. We produced a few good specimens (Jennifer Hawkins, Nicole Kidman, Kylie Minogue and Cate Blanchett), but they all escaped as quick as they could.

The next best lady in the land is Dame Edna.

Oh, wait. There's my mother-in-law, but we had to import her from Holland.
It is something that has to be proved scientifically, that a human being turned into a goat.

deflective
Member
Posts: 87
Joined: Wed Jan 09, 2008 8:56 am

Post by deflective » Tue Dec 30, 2008 9:59 am

i'd always assumed that the Kransky sisters were typical australian woman

cammoblammo
Member
Posts: 361
Joined: Wed Feb 20, 2008 7:54 am
Location: Colac, Victoria
Contact:

Post by cammoblammo » Tue Dec 30, 2008 10:11 am

deflective wrote:i'd always assumed that the Kransky sisters were typical australian woman
My point exactly.
It is something that has to be proved scientifically, that a human being turned into a goat.

User avatar
strawman
Member
Posts: 5966
Joined: Sat Oct 20, 2007 2:20 pm
Location: South Georgia

Post by strawman » Tue Dec 30, 2008 6:16 pm

Thanks for the link; I'd never heard of the Kransky Sisters. They remind me, in a way, of Norm... if Norm were a cloned Australian drag queen.
Never judge anyone until you have biopsied their brain.

"Be kind, for everyone is fighting a hard battle."
Known Some Call Is Air Am
Spoiler:
Non sum qualis eram = "I am not who I will be"

User avatar
StalinSays
Beast-Master
Posts: 1709
Joined: Sat Oct 13, 2007 4:58 am
Location: West Los Angeles, CA
Contact:

oh boy

Post by StalinSays » Thu Jan 08, 2009 10:11 pm

The site blocker they just put in to my work place network disallowed my entry to the bug fights site. Justification: Tasteless. Made me laugh. I guess someone tending the net cataloging out there is a bug's rights activist.

Post Reply