Hellaphant vs. Squid Vicious vs. Lucifoul vs. Evisceraptor

[normsherman]

For those with the fear of god put in to them by this discussion, I'd say the podcast is best heard as from minute 1 to minute 20, pause and skip, finish out minute 36 on with listener feedback.

Ahh...Cowinkydink that this is also when Bo is on?

Since the final podcast is a time-sensitive and a must listen for those desiring adjusted results, and knowledge of 'style' points, I'll see if we can keep it a touch more... appropriate for consumption.

I would imagine that anyone listening up to this point should know that anything goes in a deathmatch debate and have stopped listening if they couldn't handle it. The next/last episode will definitely be toned down though, as everyone should get a chance to hear who the megabeast champion is! Have no fear!

Tweedy's got a good point with the marketing though- we aren't planning on keeping the feed linked to the site much longer after the competition is over. It's a special event, not a component of the Drabblecast.

The site/artwork is really the heart of the deathmatch anyways, not the podcast.

[StalinSays]

Ahh...Cowinkydink that this is also when Bo is on?

Not gonna' say that's when the quality drops, but the red hot sex appeal sure diminishes quick.

The site/artwork is really the heart of the deathmatch anyways, not the podcast.

Yeah, the podcast is periphery - to 'enhance' the existing experience for the enthusiasts. Think of it as you would the spore creature vids - if you like it all already, this cherry on top is for you. Tastes like grenadine, not like bad'n'mean.

I'll back up the mega-beast-casts somewhere, tuck it as an archive feature awaiting a 2009 event, if there is to be a 2009 event.

[cammoblammo]

Well, we now know some phone results via the podcast, and a few more forum all-stars have come forward with their picks. Here are the adjusted totals as of September 24th, 1:15 pm west coast.

Adjusted Total:

(2) Lucifoul
217*
*5 forum votes, 0 phone votes

Umm, I sent my phone vote in via email, and it doesn't appear to be counted here. I haven't heard the 'cast yet, so I'm guessing one of four things:

• You're saving the really good (?) ones till last;

• You haven't folded the emailed votes into the system yet;

• Hellaphant's pointing out that it would be a pity to see something happen to such a lovely podcast; or

• You're using American-style black-box voting machines and it never arrived.

Does Lucifoul have any reason to call, erm, foul?

[normsherman]

Cammo, I sent you a PM about it- that was my screw up. It will def be in the next one and will count- no worries!

[ruddog]

Roar!

[Maenos]

In the previous Poll adjustment there was two forum votes for the obvious winner, Eviseraptor. Now there are only one forum vote?

P.s. I hope everyone is well.. in the wake of their inevitable defeat!

[cammoblammo]

In the previous Poll adjustment there was two forum votes for the obvious winner, Eviseraptor. Now there are only one forum vote?

Lucifoul's playing mind games again! Let's face it, all he has to do is duplicate a few votes when the counting's going on, and he's untouchable.

So perhaps Lucifoul's the Republican here...

[tastycakes]

Before I forget:


LUCIFOUL


(':twisted:')

That's right, bitchez. Chalk another few hundred votes up for the Owl w/ the scowl. Ain't no better, than those with a feather. You won't know what to do, when you that bone-shattering "HOOO".

That's how I roll. Def Jam out.

[tastycakes]

Oh, and I hope Merbaby Guy and Emperor Mersatz didn't get counted as call-in votes for Squid Vicious, b/c I happen to know first-hand that Mersatz likes Lucifoul

[suxshadows]

LUCIFOUL ftw

Yeah, norm may hate me for this, but I just can't get over his ability to see into the future. I think that being able to observe what his opponents are going to do before they do them is fn aces.

-----------------------------------------------------

the attempts to draw parallels between the mega beasts and us politics are valid i think.

--large, dumb, utterly vicious and heartless killing machines that will do anything and everything to win?

--creatures whose greatest desire is victory and power, and whose slightest touch or influence into your life will only cause misery and despair?

sounds more that similar to me.

[StalinSays]

Two new forum votes for Lucifoul, to thrust him ahead just as Hellaphant wrestled away the site vote lead for the first time in the competition. What glorious turmoil!

And now for the swerve...

Squid Vicious

I'm going to site the Tbaker precedent, and switch up my vote. Hulk Hogan is turning his back on all the Hulkamaniacs, spray painting the title belt black, and joining the New World Order. New jersey, new team. The winning one? Well, we'll see.

Why you ask?

Because the 'second life' 'raptor proof' hypothesis highlighted on the podcast weighs heavily in my mind

Because for Lucifoul, madness, as you know, is like gravity. All it takes is a little... push. (shameless Joker quote 1)

Because looking at the unadorned creatures of the round, not their beast facades, I see an elephant, a barn owl, a utahraptor, and a squid, and squids really are my favorite.

Because a two tentacle stranglehold and a face full of liquid nitrogen hurts

Because the best way to avoid a teleporting elephant stomp is two steps to the left

Because three viable candidates is better than two (I'd vote for Jesse Ventura, Ralph Nader, Ron Paul, or hell, the guy from the Green party straight in to the oval office, if only they could get the numbers)

Because cephlapods are dread lord Cthulhu's beautiful, earthly children

Because it makes Norm happy

Because the only sensible way to live in this world is without rules (shameless Joker quote 2)

[AynSavoy]

Entirely unrelated to Bo's change of heart*, I have decide to switch my vote to

SQUID VICIOUS

While I cannot deny the ungodly draw of the winged terror, I will put on my tin foil hat and change my allegiance to our squid master. Mostly because the description is awesome.


*I admit that, as with Bo, Norm's happiness may have factored into this.

[tbaker2500]

I'd be OK with Squid. I'm staying with my man Hellaphant, but squids are OK.

Just to confirm, his name is in reference to Sid Vicious from the sex pistols, right?

[AynSavoy]

That theory would certainly be corroborated by his music preference, punk.

[I... can't read or write]

Has nobody brought up Squid Vicious' blinding pepper spray? Or Evisceraptor's slippery, corrosive, blinding vomit? Surely these will be used immediately on Lucifowl, dulling his third eye powers. Afterwards it would just be a matter of seconds before the now-loopy bird becomes an extra crispy chicken wing from a follow-up napalm blast from Squid.

At this point, my head starts to hurt. I like Hellaphant the most of the remaining three. A grizzled veteran with a chainsaw trunk and an awesome name, the complete package. Unfortunately, Evisceraptor will destroy him. It's all about the soft underbelly. Evisceraptor will fully exploit that weakness. He's about 30% literally a soft underbelly shredding machine. Even his namesake leads to this conclusion (As Webster’s puts it - Eviscerate: To take out the entrails of; to disembowel; to gut.) Dumbo’s a goner.

So it comes down to the squid and the dino. I don’t see a really clear winner in combat, so it comes down to my whims. I never liked the idea of a raptor being included in this competition. It made me sick that it took the prelim voting title. Are we, as a community, so devoid of creativity that we need to fall back on the “raptors are bad-ass” cliché? For SHAME. (Sloth in ’09!)

As much as I hate to jump on the current bandwagon, my vote has to go to:

SQUID VICIOUS

[cammoblammo]

Has nobody brought up Squid Vicious' blinding pepper spray? Or Evisceraptor's slippery, corrosive, blinding vomit? Surely these will be used immediately on Lucifowl, dulling his third eye powers. Afterwards it would just be a matter of seconds before the now-loopy bird becomes an extra crispy chicken wing from a follow-up napalm blast from Squid.

Here in Australia we've just had the AFL Grand Final. My team didn't play, but I still got pretty caught up in the emotion of the moment. And thus I've got to say...

NO FRAKKIN' WAY!!!!!!

Seriously, how would any of those guys be able to hit Lucifoul? He'd see the attack coming, then reflect and/or absorb the projectiles as they come. And the attacker would have to look in his general direction if they were to try, and once that happens, the owl has them ensnared in his indomitable will. Then, it's all over.

I just cannot see how anyone with the telepathic, telekinetic and telewhatever abilities of Lucifoul can be touched. His only pertinent weakness is his complicated personality. If things go his way to begin---and they will---all three personalities are going to be quite happy to cooperate.

[cammoblammo]

Well folks, I've done all I can. I suppose I could do more, but that would be cheating!

What I mean to say is, I'm off on holiday for the next week and I seriously doubt I'll get near the internet for a while. So this whole competition's going to blow over before I return.

So please, for the love of all that is evil and unholy, go and vote for Lucifoul. You know it's the right thing to do...

[StalinSays]

His only pertinent weakness is his complicated personality.

Like his personalities, Lucifoul's weaknesses are legion. Let me highlight here the most noteworthy trifecta.

The primary, most oft sited failing is his mental instability. Losing your function in a fight of this kind is sure death, so it makes sense this the go-to dig on the ghost bird.

The second weakness is blinding. Early in the competition we were calling Evisceraptor bird's bane because of laser eye eye to eye possibilities (eye). I think the disparity and danger to this interplay never fully developed: Evisceraptor can put a big hurt down on the foul one. Forget hitting the screaming huge bullseye in the middle of Lucifoul's face with a laser, how about the fact that "blinding vomit" is explicitly a part of his arsenal? Say Lucifoul comes screeching in, and Evisceraptor loses his lunch in pure terror, what next? Since he'll be no doubt staring wide-eyed at his fearful attacker, his head will be cocked with perfect trajectory. Lucifoul is not so fearful a thing slicked down in sick, groping in the dark.

The third weakness is compromised flight. If Lucifoul has no wings, he is loath to go on the offensive. They're the biggest part of his make-up, no doubt the first thing to be severed or charred. While the loss of wings is not a sure KO, without them Lucifoul becomes a bobbing brain in space, like Sanitee before him. He can still wreak mental havoc, but his speed is gone, and with it, further use of his predictive / counter-attacking time / dimensional powers.

[Maenos]

In my country, Squid is a delcious dish. It is easy to catch and very easy to kill, all you need is net and a strong arm. Just a thought.

Kore Wa Oishi Desu.

[zZzacha]

Ah, nice. We're all switching votes! I love anarchy and chaos.

Does anyone want to convert me, gain some extra points for your beast and make the scoring go all screwy in the process?